Rescue Me
by DeppsLadyRosebud
Summary: better sum. inside. Dean Angst Sam’s phone rings one night and he will never be the same again. Finished.
1. Chapter 1

-1**Disclaimer: **_Don't know. Don't own. Don't sue. As much as I wish I were involved with Jensen or Jared or the show Supernatural I'm not, so there for everything you find in this story is my own creation, the MAIN characters however are not._

**Summary: **_A year has passed now since Sam went his separate way, trying to find some sort of normal life, the hunting lifestyle a thing of the past with the demon finally dead. Dean and John have continued the hunt a father and son team once more, they have spent the last year battling evil, fighting the good fight…. _

_But then something happened, Sam's phone rings one night and he will never be the same again, his fathers gone missing, and only one person saw what happened…. But he's not saying a word. Can Sam find his father and save his brother by throwing himself back into a life he never wanted to deal with again._

_(The idea came to me while re-watching Dead in the Water season 1 for about the tenth time, obviously the events of the season 2 opener never happened as far as my story is concerned)_

**Rescue Me**

_Chapter One_

_Flashback three weeks earlier_

_Officer Daniel Bradley was headed down his normal evening route along highway ninety-five as he took a sip of his coffee trying to force himself to stay awake, seeing as how he was nearing the end of his twelve hour shift. Looking at the clock he smiled to himself 2:47 a.m. only two more hours and thirteen minutes._

_Glancing back to the road the sheriffs face twisted quickly into panic as he slammed down on his break the car screeching to a halt. "Dear God." He whispered to himself trying to catch his breath as he looked out the front windshield and studied the male figure still walking down the center of the deserted highway…. How had he not see him before, he had come out of no where…. Was he really that tired?_

_Slowly and cautiously he stepped from the car, noting that the young man seemed to be in some sort of distress from the appearance of his clothes and the dirt scattering his body…. Well what he thought to be dirt, he wasn't really to positive what it was with how dark it was outside…_

"_Are you alright son?" The slightly heavier 50ish officer called out as he took a step closer leaving the door to his police cruiser ajar for safe measure. _

_The boy did not answer though, his hands dangling at his side, his moves were repetitive and nearly catatonic as he kept his face forward, never glancing back to see who was speaking to him, never calling out a word, nothing…. He was just walking… walking there alone along the highway ._

"_I said are you alright?" Officer Bradley tried again…. "Stop and talk to me, is something wrong?" He made sure to keep enough distance between them to reserve his own safety, his eyes and hands fully aware of where his gun was just in case as he closed the gap a little more, about 10 feet now parting him from the mysterious man in front of him._

_And that was when it happened, the young man's body fell lax and then quickly stiffened once it hit the pavement, his head shifting to the side. Daniel frowned deeply as he sprinted forward…. "Are you alright??? Sir…." He asked his heart nearly stopping in his chest when he stepped close enough to see the boy, he couldn't have been more than thirty…. His face was bruised and beaten, a trail of blood dripping slowly from his bottom lip._

_Bending down a little, he cautiously placed a hand on the pathetic looking figures shoulder…. "It's Okay son, we are going to get you some help." He took notice of how cold the flesh was beneath his fingers and slipped his jacket off placing it over the stiff form. "You're gonna be ok" _

_The young man's eyes blinked rapidly as he stared up at the kind face of this stranger hovering above him his breath warm as he spoke such comforting words…._

"_we're gonna get you some help…" Hs voice was calm, and collected as he pressed the dispatch button on the small radio device clipped to his shirt and began speaking into it…_

"_This is Officer Bradley out here on the ninety-five… I'm going to need an ambulance I'm approaching the second turn off, found a male Caucasian approximately twenty-five to thirty years old. Seems conscious, however none responsive… There's no telling how long he's been out here…."_

"_Right away sir…" the woman on the other end of the radio answered quickly the sound of her fingers hitting computer keys the only background noise Daniel could hear as he looked down at the man sprawled out before him his eyes still studying him, watching his every move even though to Officer Bradley they appeared to be more than a little vacant of every emotion possible aside from fear and even that was questionable._

_It didn't take long before the ambulance arrived and they were headed toward the local hospital the officer's cruiser fallowing closely behind them, both sets of lights flashing red and blue into the deep dark of the night sky._

_- "Any Identification found?" Bradley's boss was now sitting in the waiting room with the slightly shaken officer as he sipped from a new fresh cup of coffee shaking his head. There John Doe having been behind those two solid grey doors in the ICU for over two hours now._

_Daniel had watched as they called the psych doctor down and he came, dressed in his brown tweed suit clipboard in hand, he had been in there over an hour now himself never once coming out for air…. Coffee… nothing…._

_And Daniel would give anything to know what was going on in there…. Anything at all._

Present Day

Sam Winchester was headed down the west campus tennis courts of Stanford University his books tucked safely under his arm as he walked, his life had become so simple…. So normal, and everyday during this exceedingly long walk from one end of the campus to the other he found himself thinking about things. Things that were now in the past….

He had traded in his bow staff for books and his EMF reader for a real walk-man, and he was happier than he had ever been before to enjoy the simple luxuries of being one face in a million on campus, not standing out… just…fitting in.

Well as much as he could anyway, he knew he was different, he was always going to be different, have dark secrets, things that he knew that no one else would about what was really out there, what was really hiding under your bed at night…. But he could pretend couldn't he? Pretended that he didn't know what was going on, play clueless like the rest of middle class college bound America….

But he did miss it…. As much as he hated putting his life on the line, most of the time simply to save a stranger that he was never going to see again… There was a thrill that came from it, an adrenaline rush… and in his sick and twisted life… a certain comfort as well…. Knowing that if he killed something out there in the night, that was one less thing anyone was going to have to worry about….

And god he missed his brother, leaving him behind after the three years they spent demon hunting together, three years living from hotel to hotel and riding in that damn 67' Impala…. Three years of re-bonding and re-building on a brotherly relationship that to most would seem beyond repair…. It hurt, but Sam knew that his place was no longer next to his brother… or his father… in this great war of the worlds… It was in school where he could do real good, help people,…. He was no warrior no matter how bad his father wished it so.

And Dean seemed alright with it, he knew that Sam needed this, he needed something safe… Something normal… And they parted on good terms.

A smile crossed Sam's lips as he took note of a small spicy brunette eyeing him and he brought his hand up to wave at her… "Hey Nat." He called out just as his cell phone began to ring….

Taking it out of his pocket he looked at the caller ID and his brows furrowed together. Who the hell did he know with a 207 area code? He didn't have friends anywhere near Bangor Maine….

"Hello?" His head cocked a little in question even though the person on the other end could not see him….

"Is this Sam?" the voice of an obviously older male asked his words laced with hope…

"Y-Yeah…. Who" Sam cleared his throat a little… "Who is this?"

"You don't know me…. But I'm hoping that you are able to help me out…."

"I-I'm sorry?"

"My name is Daniel Bradley I'm an officer with the Bangor police department…."

"What can I do for you Officer Bradley…" Sam stopped walking and leaned against a building setting his books down beside him before glancing at his watch… He hoped this was not going to take long, he had less than tem minutes to get to his next class.

"About three weeks ago, I was traveling down the 95, the highway here…"

"I know what the 95 is…."

"Well… anyway I came upon a young man, who was wandering down the highway…."

_Why are you telling me this? _Sam thought to himself shaking his head, _You should be calling my father and brother… I'm retired. _But he remained polite none the less. "Okay…"

"No identification was found when they transported him to the hospital, nothing…. And the nurses and doctor's have been unable to get through to him to give them so much as a name, but he appears to be suffering from some sort of severe post traumatic stress disorder…"

"I-I'm sorry officer, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Well…. I-I did some checking around, I remembered the one thing that was found on the young man was a set of old Chevy car keys…. Had to have been at least 20 years old… So I…"

Sam felt his stomach drop down to his knees thankful he was leaning against a building now as it held him up…. _No ID, car keys…. It can't be… it can't be… it cannot be…. _He thought to himself trying to get the thoughts out of his head and listen to what the officer was saying….

"So…I waited, checking local impound lots…. For abandoned vehicles that were picked up around here, and I sent out an a.p.b to be notified of any older Chevy's picked up around the area…."

Sam's world was spinning now, _ It could not be, this was not who he knew it was… it was not Dean, it was impossible, this was just some strange coincidence…._

"I got a call yesterday from a friend of mine over in Orono said that he had a vehicle I should come check out…. It was a 1967 Chevy Impala…."

"Dean…" Sam's voice shook as the one word slipped from his mouth hardly above a whisper his pulse racing his heart now thumping so fast he thought it was going to burst from his chest…..

"Did you say something son?" The older man's voice cut into the dizzying sickness that was devouring Sam's body…

"Dean…his name is Dean…. He's my brother…." Sam felt it was nearly impossible to form full sentences as he spoke, "Wh-where did you say you were?"

"Bangor Maine…" The officer couldn't help but sound a little pleased, there was hope yet… at least now they had a name to go off of, some sort of a start…. He was thankful more so now than ever for the small busted up cell phone he found beneath the seat of the classic car.

"M-my brother how is he?"

Daniel drew his lip into his mouth, "I think we need to talk in person…."

"Tell me…. Officer" Sam cleared his throat loudly as another thought flashed through his mind… "Was… was there anyone else with him?"

"No, he-he was alone… why?"

"No, no reason…" Sam swallowed.

"It was nearly a ten mile travel….." Bradley included, "Your brother must have a very strong survival will or something, there is no telling how long he was wandering that rode way for…."

"Yeah…. Yeah… Um listen, I'll be there as soon as I can, I'm going to pick up the next flight out alright?"

"Okay son, If you would like I can arrange for a police pick-up…"

"Th-that would be wonderful, and I thank you…. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure…"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I just… I don't really know, it's just that when I found him, he was so broken… I just, you know no one should suffer like that."

Sam nodded even though he could not be seen, "I-I'll see you soon…"

"Okay son."

The dial tone on the other end was a welcomed sound as Sam let his legs give way and slid to a sitting position there against the side of the building. _This cannot be happening….. _He thought to himself putting his head in his hands and taking a minute to himself, a minute to try to absorb everything that had been thrown at him so suddenly,…. Even though he was yet to have all of the pieces….

He knew what this meant. He knew what this was going to force him to do, and that sent a sickening chill down his spine…. He had to go back there…..

With that thought he rose to his feet and picked up his books, turning and heading back the way he came from… in more ways then one.

_Tell me what you think, you know how much I like feedback! More to come very soon._


	2. Chapter 2

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter Two_

The smell of the hospital was nauseating as Sam made his way through the front doors his walk turning into a sprint as he passed by the waiting room and went straight to the front desk, his thoughts for the last eleven hours and ten minutes had been a mix of fear, pain and confusion… And finally… Finally someone was hopefully going to give him some answers….

Stopping at the front desk he looked down at the older woman placed in front of a small computer screen and tried…. Tried so hard to muster a polite smile, but nothing would come to him. "Excuse me…." He cleared his throat, in an attempt to get her attention.

"How may I help you?" she asked politely diverting her attention from the screen to Sam's worry covered and slightly pale face,

"My-my brother, he's here…. And I need to find him….I mean his room number…."

"What is your brother's name?" She asked placing her fingers on to the keyboard ready to type.

"Dean Win-.. Dean Peterson…" He corrected himself thankfully remembering one of the aliases for the credit cards he himself still carried for emergencies of course.

"Dean…" She said to herself under her breath…. "Oh, you mean our John Doe? Officer Bradley told us about you, and your brother's first name, but there was no last given so he's still registered under unidentified….."

"Where is he?" Sam repeated, his patience growing think as he rocked slightly on his heels sticking his hands into his pockets.

"Third floor… Psychiatric Ward."

"Psychiatric Ward!" Sam repeated to himself already turning and running down the hallway to the elevator, he had been away from Dean for over a year now, but these last few minutes seemed like an eternity…. An eternity in which his big brother was suffering.

Leaning against the wall of the elevator Sam ran a hand through his hair and over his face in some lame attempt to compose…. To prepare himself for what he might find regarding his brother, the fact that this officer Bradley was not willing to discuss much over the phone was wearing heavily on his mind and his conscience.

The ding of the elevator sounded and Sam stepped from it on wobbly legs swallowing back vomit that had somehow worked it's way into his throat during the small elevator ride.

"Sam?"

Sam turned to see a kind looking older man walking toward him after stepping away from a window no more than five feet from where he stood. "Officer Bradley?"

The older gentleman nodded, "But please call me Daniel…."

"Okay…. Daniel…. Is- Is that my brother's room?" Sam was already taking steps toward the window with the only slightly opened blinds, wanting and needing to see what was inside.

"It is…."

The younger Winchester brother stopped in his tracks noting the hesitation in the man's voice pivoting on his heels to face him. "What is it?"

"Your brother…"

"I gathered that…. What about him…."

"I think that before you see him, you should understand…. About his current condition."

"Which would be?"

"He is suffering from severe post traumatic stress disorder…. At least that is the doctor's best guess anyway… I've been talking with them trying to stay updated, but your brother… He's locked himself inside his own head somewhere…. I don't know what it is he saw… or did… or what happened, but something has shut him down…"

Sam nodded numbly, this did not sound like his brother, this was not Dean… There had to be something else at work here, something that this 'normal guy' didn't know about, some supernatural power that had it's hold over his brother…Dean could fight through anything.

"Through further evaluation, they have however discovered that many of his wounds are self-inflicted."

Sam blinked rapidly and shook his head at those words, "Your trying to tell me that- No… No way dude, you don't know my brother at all, something-" He cleared his throat loudly before correcting his mistake. "Someone, did this to him."

"Listen Sam, I didn't say that nothing happened to him alright I simply said that-"

"I want to see him now, I need to see him now, so if you will excuse me…" Sam cut the officer off holding his hand up to silence him before stepping around the older man and toward the entrance where he knew his brother was being kept.

Opening the door he carefully crept inside, his eyes scanning the small stale smelling room, the sense of sickness and death an overwhelming one for Sam every time he entered into a hospital. The sun was creeping through a few open blinds on the far wall, casting an almost eerie glow on the entire small space. There was a bathroom, of course and a lot of equipment scattered about like someone's messy apartment.

He took note that the curtain surrounding Dean's bed was pulled so that Sam or no one else could see beyond it, Sam never really understood the purpose of a shower curtain hoisted up in the middle of a room, especially a room that was only big enough for one person… Like this one.

He glanced toward the television and grimaced, _Dean must be sleeping, _He told himself watching as a scene from Days of Our Lives played out, he knew how his brother felt about daytime TV, it was frickin terrible… And besides if he HAD to watch something it would definitely be Oprah… An attraction Sam never understood.

He found himself scanning the room again, to find something else to think about something else to invade his head for another minute and a half so that he wouldn't have to draw back that curtain. He wanted to know that his brother was okay, he wanted to let him know that he was there for him, but there was this…. This… Fear that had a hold of him…. Fear of what he might see behind there….

Shaking himself back to coherency, Sam stepped forward, trembling fingers gripping the soft cream colored curtain and pulling it back slowly… hesitantly.

Sam's lungs quit working, his heart shutting down his eyes immediately fixing on his brothers face as he stumbled a little having to reach out for the bed railing to steady himself. So helpless….. So…. Pale,… so lifeless.

It having been three weeks now most of the physical bruises were now things of the past, but Sam did not need to see them to know that they were there…. He closed his eyes momentarily trying to wake up from this horrible nightmare, trying to bring himself back to reality, back to a nice warm bed…. Back to life….

But this was reality, and it stung like a bee sting through his heart when his eyes opened again and everything was laid out before him like a living breathing nightmare….

Dean's head was shifted to the side his eyes were blinking slowly and every time they rose they would never quite open fully before falling again. His lips had a slight tremble as his vision stayed focused on the world outside never once even shifting his position to look toward his brother, more than likely having no clue who was even in the room with him.

His body was lax and covered by a not to thick white hospital blanket, his toes twitching every now and then the only implication Sam had that any of his brother's limbs were still in working order….

"Hey there big brother…" Sam whispered finally finding enough of his voice to allow him to do so, his fingers shaking even more so now as he brought his hand from the bed railing to rest on his brothers there beneath the blanket….

A deep and unpleasant frown crossing his lips when he realized his brother's arms and more than likely legs too were strapped to the bed bound by thick leather belt like straps….

"Dean," he swallowed using his foot to pull a chair over closer to the bed and sliding down into it, never once letting his hand fall from his brothers.

Sam's heart was breaking so quickly he knew it was beyond repair as his brother made no attempt to shift his head, no attempt to acknowledge his brother's presence…. Nothing….

Leaning forward a little The younger brother took his free hand and placed it on Dean's forehead using it to shift his head and his gaze to the other side, so that the two of them were eye to eye, face to face…

Sam felt hot, almost fire filled tears spill down his face at his brothers vacant eyes tearing into him, the slow mechanical blink of his eyelids only adding to the dramatic effect of how truly out of it he was….

"Hey you…." He choked a little licking his lips and wiping his face with his free hand squeezing his brothers fingers with the other, "Don't you worry alright…… Sammy is here, I'm here, and we are going to figure this out…."

Dean's hand jerked a few times his facial expression never altering as he looked at his brother, eyes nearly pleading, begging to be rescued from whatever the hell was going on….

"See I knew you knew I was here…" Sam managed a small smile and took both of his hands now cupping them around the one he had been holding,….

"I would doubt that-" A young feminine voice interrupted as one of the many hospital nurses entered the room coming over to check Dean's vitals….

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not trying to burst your bubble or anything it's just that…. Well the twitching… The doctors are more than sure that it is the result of the seizures and-"

"What are you talking about?" Sam took his eyes from his brothers and looked up at the twenty something young woman, "What seizures?"

"The doctor didn't tell you?"

Sam shook his head…

"When your brother first arrived here, within the first four hours he suffered two of them…. The first being moderate and the second being minor…."

"Oh god…."

"So the doctor believes that the seizures have created some sort of nerve damage through the limbs of his body…. Like an automatic stimulation response…. Even though the initial brain scanned showed no signs of permanent trauma….."

"Well then… it wasn't from the seizures, and he does know I'm here…" Sam insisted eyes firm as he quickly shifted his gaze from the tall blond woman and looked back at his brother, "Have they stopped?"

"The seizures?" She stepped in closer to the bed nodding, " No more since that night…."

"What caused them…."

"His emotional distress obviously, all of this is stemming from whatever it was that took place that night…"

Sam nodded his head in agreement, he wondered if this young innocent woman would ever know how truly right she was.. "Why… Why the restraints?"

"To keep him from harming himself any further,…"

"My brother is not a dangerous man." He retorted dryly now finding his fingers running along the thick leather pieces subconsciously…. Wishing he could rub right through them.

The nurse didn't answer right off. "They are for his own protection…" She set down a form in front of him, "Now that you are here mister Peterson we are going to need you to fill out these payment and insurance forms…."

"Oh, oh yes of course." He nodded, "Would it be alright if….. " He looked back to her, "Can you get me clearance to take him for a walk?" He managed a sad small smile, "He hates to be in one place to long, and it would be great for his limbs,… you know that whole nerve thing he's got going on…"

"Mr. Peterson…"

"Please call me Sam."

"Okay, Sam…With someone in your brother's condition…"

"Please…." Sam let his puppy like expression do the begging for him, "We're not going to be leaving the hospital grounds, I just- I want to walk him around a little… talk to him, see if I can get him to open up…"

"I doubt something like that is going to work now…"

"I need to try… he's my brother."

With a deep sigh she nodded a small half sad nod, "Alright, you fill those out for me and I will see what I can do."

It was like helping an infant as Sam slowly took his brothers legs over the side of the bed and helped his brother's body to a sitting position , sliding a terry cloth hospital robe around his shoulders then pulling his arms though before rising him to his feet and tying it.

Gliding an arm around his waist and resting one on his stomach the nurse having disconnected the heart and blood pressure monitors, the two men made there way slow and steadily from the small cooped up hospital room.

"I know how much you hate being cooped up…" He whispered lowly, "But don't you worry we are going to get you out of here, and take you some place safer where we can work on this and figure things out….. I don't know yet, but you know me I'll figure something out…"

Opening the back exit out into the hospitals outside courtyard Sam led his brother around th yard, a silence having befallen him, he didn't know what to say, he had heard that in situations like this it was best to talk to the person normally as if they were talking back to you… But it was difficult… So damn difficult to talk to him without snotty bantered remarks being shot back at him, without so much as a sound being uttered in his direction from his brother's lips…

"So um, school…. Yeah school is going really well, I'm at the top of my class again this semester… I know you think that makes me a geek and all but, maybe this way I'll get into a big law firm and I can uh you know, help you out financially, and I'm sure dad… wherever he is would …. Ok might be proud of me…"

He paused at that watching Dean's face twitch a little his upper lip curling eyes blinking quickly, "Is it dad Dean?" He asked studying the emotions trying desperately to read something, anything out of them…. "Where is he?"

Sam watched as Dean's hands came up around himself in a slow deliberate motion hugging them weakly to his chest he began scratching at his flesh herd nails digging in deep and fast…his head shaking back and forth back and forth, then again… Eyes widening.

"Stop it…. " Sam swallowed reaching over and prying his arms and hands apart gripping one of his wrists hard… _He's … like a crazy person…_ Sam found himself thinking…. _There is definitely something going on here, force at work…_

With only one hand restrained now Dean' right hand moved up to his forehead and he began clawing at it in the same fashion as he had his arms and Sam felt his heart sink dropping so low he swore it was resting just above the souls of his feet.

Getting up from the bench he kneeled down in front of his brothers obviously frightened form and reached for his other hand gripping one in each of his own… Forcing his gaze to stay on his brothers face, "You stop that you hear me…" His voice was not raised but carried a very harsh and demanding tone, "You knock this looney shit off and you snap your ass back into the sane world…." He felt his lips beginning to quiver only slightly, "I need you to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours, because I sure cannot figure it out on my own, and I can't exactly go in there and get you now can I?"

No response was received as Dean just kept his head shaking back and forth back and forth never once so much as gazing at his brother.

"STOP IT!" Sam's voice rose as he used his elbows to lock his brothers arms at his side and gripped Dean's face with his palms forcefully making it stop shaking. "I know you understand me you stupid shit…. I know you are in there…"

Dean swallowed hard and for a brief moment Sam found life flickering in his eyes, looking back at him…. And then a tear…. A single drop of water found it's way sliding down his broken brothers face before Sam could feel Dean's face fighting against his grasp, pressing against his fingertips.

"I'm gonna get you outta here big brother, and we're gonna fix this…. I promise, whatever the hell this is… we're gonna fix it…. Just like old times…."

The two of them sat there for a good ten minutes like that, locked… stuck… pleading with one another, one to get out…. And the other to find a way in.

- Sam paced the small hospital waiting room Dean now resting thanks to the subduing of a tranquilizer. He felt lost…. Alone as his feet moved aimlessly from one side of the room to the other, then back again. Reaching in his pocket he gripping his phone in his hand and pulled it out…. He had to try right?

"Hey dad…. This is uh, this is Sam…. I need you to call me back alright? I'm worried about you, and uh…. I don't exactly know what's going on, but there's something strange going on around here… With Dean, and I don't know where you are or why you disappeared…." _Or if you're even alive? _He thought but did not dare utter the words from his mouth, "Please, just call me alright?"

Closing the phone Sam watched his hand tremble and stared at it for a good thirty seconds before opening it again and flipping through the numbers…

"Hey…. Bobby?" He paused while the person on the other end obviously answered him.. " I need your help…. How soon can you get to Bangor?" Another small pause, "Yeah Maine…. I-I don't know… I just there's something weird going on, and I can't scoop this one on my own…."

"Who was that?" Sam turned to see officer Bradley once more standing in his presence.

"Our uncle…"

"Family is good at a time like this…"

Sam nodded wiping at his upper lip, "Have you been here all day?"

"Just got in about 20 minutes ago, after my shift ended…"

"Oh…" Sam had completely forgotten about all to concerned officer Bradley, with him around there was no way the plan that Sam was cooking was going to go over smoothly….

"How's he doing?"

"Well… He's doing well, now that I'm here." Sam knew that was a lie, but maybe he was just trying to make himself feel better, feel useful since right now he felt as helpless as his brother was.

"Good, that's good."

"Yeah, I've been on the phone for the past few hours making arrangements with my uncle, he's a doctor back home in Lawrence, we are getting everything set to transfer Dean back there, friends and family can come visit him…."

"I'm not to sure how safe it is to transport someone in his delicate condition… Have you talked to his doctor?"

"My uncle is his doctor… Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make a few more calls."

"_That's my boy… Nice cover-up… " _Sam could hear Dean's voice in his head congratulating him on a lie well told and it caused a smile to form on his lips,.

"we're gonna bring you back brother…" He whispered to himself heading toward the exit of the hospital already dialing a new number on his cell…

- It took somewhere around eight hours for Bobby to make his way to Bangor, eight hours of which Sam had spent one of two places, by his brother's side fighting and trying to force him to utter a word, or out in the waiting room on the phone making calls and planning ahead.

"Here is the deal…" He was now sitting in the passengers seat of Bobby's rented 2005 Toyota Camry, he handed him a small plastic badge with his picture on it and the words _Doctor Robert Peterson, Neurological division_. "You're going to go in there and tell then that you are going to transport him to the medical center in Lawrence."

Bobby nodded, not a shred of nervousness in his demeanor, "You know I'm here for you Sammy, but are you sure your doing the right thing? Have you talked to John about this?"

"I can't reach him," Sam closed his eyes for a moment choosing not to tell him about the feeling he had or the way dean reacted to the thought of their father. "I know what I'm doing…. I have a place lined up for us to go until we can figure this whole thing out and bring him back…."

"Are you sure that there was something that did this to him? I mean…. maybe, maybe he just finally snapped Sam…. You're brother has always been the strong one and maybe-"

"Shut-up Bobby…." Sam's eyes narrowed as he stepped from the car and slammed the door, "Now lets go get this done…"

Bobby's eyes widened a little as he nodded biting his tongue, "Alright Sammy, alright…"

"Did you send one of your guys over to Orono for the car?"

"Mike should be arriving there within the next few hours, and he's going to drive it back to my place…"

"Good… Dean's going to be happy about that."

It was nearly 45 minutes of conversation with the doctor who had been residing over Dean's care during his stay here, before Bobby and Sam were finally led into the room officer Bradley on their heels.

"You call and let me know if there are any changes alright?"

"Will do." Sam nodded sliding his brother's hooded sweatshirt over his head, "What do you say we head out of this shit hole big brother?"

Bobby's forehead wrinkled with lines of worry as he studied the two boys , Dean really was in a horrid state and he fear Sam was not fairing much better… Clearing his throat he cupped Dean's shoulder helping Sam raise the lifeless form from the bed. "How you doing huh?" He asked uneasily.

No change came from Dean's form as they made there way out of the hospital …aside from a slight relaxation of his features as his brother slid the seatbelt of the new Camry around his chest. "there you go…"

"Now what do you boys say we get out of here as fast as we can?"

"Sounds like a plan." Sam checked to make sure his brother's hands were bound by the seatbelt for the time being before closing the door and climbing around the other side both of them sitting in the back…. He didn't know what was going on, or what was going to happen, but at least his brother was with him, and away from that place, which was a start right?

"Where we headed?"

"Hmm?" Sam pulled himself from his thoughts.

"Where we headed?" Bobby repeated glancing in the rearview mirror.

"Home, back to Lawrence…" He whispered resting his hand on Dean's leg, "to someone who can help."

Let me in on your thoughts here people, I cannot believe how big the response was to the first chapter, I only hope I keep your interest throughout….

Rosebud


	3. Chapter 3

-1_WOW! The response you all have given me is absolutely amazing, so I thank you! And I only hope that I will continue to please your egger minds. I can see many ideas and speculations on what you guys think is going on, but you are just going to have to wait and see now aren't you? ;). Thanks again._

_Rosebud_

**Chapter 3**

_Rescue Me  
_

Sam awoke slowly finding himself still propped up in the back seat of the Camry, he glanced over at his brother and frowned a little. Finding that Dean was in nearly the same position he had been in when Sam had finally managed to drift off into sleep. Eyes still straight ahead blinking still slow and repetitive…. The only difference now was his head was resting against the side window of the car.

"Did he sleep at all yet?" Sam knew the question was in vein but his hopeful side made him ask it anyway as he watched Bobby's head make it's way back and forth against the soft cloth of the seat.

"Not a wink as far as I could tell…"

Sam exhaled loudly as he felt the car swerve left, looking out the window he saw the old family friend's house as he undid he seat belt and adjusted his jacket around his body…

If anyone was going to have any sort of answers for him, it was going to be her, it would be wonderful if she could give him every answer he was seeking, but Sam as naive as he might have been, was in no way stupid, and he knew now from the years he spent in this life…. The life that he lived. That no one… No one ever had all the answers.

Feeling the engine shut off he climbed from the car and walked around to the other side opening Dean's door. "Come on…" He whispered watching as his brother's eyes shifted dully from side to side scanning their surroundings in a dazed and distant manner.

Sliding his arm around the older man's waist Sam lead them up to the front door Bobby on their heels with the two duffel bags that Sam had managed to pack for them, with whatever he could find for himself and the few articles of clothing he owned that he thought might fit his brother, who was more than a head shorter then him.

Reaching out the youngest, yet oddly tallest of the three men knocked lightly on the white wooden door in front of them drawing his lip into his mouth, he knew she had been waiting for them to arrive ever since he had called her from back in Bangor, but that didn't mean that Sam wasn't nervous, it had been so long since he had seen any of these people, experienced any part of this life… That the whole scenario was making him nervous.

And then there she was, smile kind as ever her round face glowing from it against her dark complexion as she opened the door. "well, well, well look who we have here…." Her tone was cheerful and eyes light, giving even Sam, a small grin on his lips, something he really needed right now.

"Told you we wouldn't be strangers…." Sam cleared his throat watching as Dean's head cocked up a little toward the sound of the familiar and welcoming voice only for a moment before falling again.

"That you did… Although I did not think it would be four years until I would see you again…." She pushed the door open a little wider and stepped back from it, "Well, what are you waitin' for sugar get on in here."

As they stepped into the small and home like house the smell of sage filled Sam's nostrils and it was a sent welcoming to his entire body as he almost immediately felt himself relax just the slightest bit….

Missouri Mosley…. A woman who Sam was sure was the kindest left on the planet lead their way from the small hallway into the living room turning to face them, her eyes saddening… "Oh Dean…." She whispered softly, just by looking at him… even a person without mental psychic powers could see and even feel the pain seeping from his body as he stood there with his head cocked down at his brothers side Sam's arm staying around him. "Don't you worry sweetheart, you're here now…" She then let her gaze fall back to Sam.

"You guys have a seat, and I'm going to get us some tea." Sam nodded taking note of how she had not yet touched either one of the boys and he wondered to himself if maybe she did sense something in Dean's presence,… Maybe she was afraid of whatever was surrounding him….. Maybe….

"I'm actually going to get going," Bobby's words tore through Sam's maybe what if game going on in his head and his eyes traveled up to meet Bobby's as he and Dean slid down toward the cushions of the couch. "Mike called me about half an hour ago, said he and the Impala were back up at the tow yard…. So I'm gonna head on up the road, get changed and have him fallow me back here to drop it off…"

"Alright…" Sam watched as he turned to leave, "Hey Bobby?"

"Hmm?" The older man turned his head over his shoulder glancing back a little.

"Thanks…. You know we uh…. We really appreciate everything that you did for us last night and today…."

"Anytime Sammy, you know that…"

Sam's head nodded up and down as he saw Missouri returning from around the corner where he knew the kitchen must have been located, and back toward the living room, a small tray with three glasses and a tea pot in her grasp….

She took a seat on the small recliner that was diagonal from where Dean and Sam sat on the couch, but it was still close enough that she was less than an arms length away….

Sam watched as she never looked up from the tea pot she was pouring into the three cups, in one of them she then placed a few small green leaves of some kind and a cube of sugar…

"What is that?"

"It's for your brother… It's called the essence of Lilac, it's going to help calm his mind…."

"What do you mean?"

She placed the cup in Dean's hand and her fingers rested on top of his, the moment they did she felt it…. Everything like a title wave smashing into her…. Pin pointing her heart and stabbing it with no less than fifty arrows.

Sam watched as the soft sweet features of her normal expression melted away into sadness…. Her free hand coming up to rest on Dean's forehead…. "You poor things…." She bit back tears….

"What?" Sam asked eagerly, "What's going on in there?"

"He's afraid…. Afraid of what happened to your father…." She swallowed softly…. "so much pain…"

"Our father, what about our father?" Sam tried as hard as he could to keep himself composed but he was failing miserably as his worried eyes went from his brother's face to Missouri's then back again and again and again…

"I don't know…." She admitted sadly, "But whatever it was…. It was bad….."

"I need to know what happened." Sam pleaded more than informed.

"I wish I could answer that for you, but it stems to deep inside there, you see Sam the mind is a whole new dimension, there are layers inside there, ones we can see and can control…. And ones we can't…. Whatever this is… It's deeper than I can go…"

"Was…Was it a demon?" Sam asked, "I mean what can you tell me? Please? You're the only person who can help me…. Help him."

"There are no traces that a Demon was ever in there…" She frowned deeper watching as Dean's hands began to tremble slipping the tea cup from them, the rest of his body quickly fallowing suit as she gripped his hand in hers not even flinching when his nails dug into her.

It was as though she could feel every out pouring emotion, every word he was not saying, and as though she could understand them even if she could not separate any one from the other, or express them into words…. "Easy sugar…." She brought her other hand back to his forehead once more and rested it there, "Easy now, you just relax….."

Moments later Dean's body slumped back further into the couch his eyes blinking even slower than before if that was possible as he stared blankly at the woman hovering closely to him, her eyes so soft, so warm.. So kind, as his face twitched a little from time to time his head jerking as though it were resting on some sort of nerve even as she held it…

Sam was watching in silence as a few stray tears found their way down his cheeks, "What do you mean there is no demon?" He asked his voice almost angry, "How do you know?"

"I don't for sure…. But this Sam, this isn't that kind of pain… That kind of suffering, your brother saw something…. Something that caused his mind to snap like a branch beneath your foot…."

"What did he see?"

"I don't know…. Only he does…. But my guess is, like I said before, it has something to do with your father…"

"Why don't we let him rest a while?"

"He doesn't sleep…."

"The lilac will help with that, right now his body is weary and so is his mind."

"If there is no demon in there, and if there hasn't been, then how do you explain the seizures he had, or the tremors he still seems to be suffering from….."

"He's afraid… his brain is acting out against whatever visions are trapped in there…."

"I just wish that I could find out what the hell is going on, and I know that you said there is no Demon… But something keeps telling me you're wrong about that…."

"You're hoping for an easy answer baby, I understand that…."

"I just hate seeing him like this…."

"He hates it even more than you do, you can trust me on that one…"

"I guess I just, you know if this was caused by a demon I would have something to fight, something to kill… something to seek revenge on, but if it's not…. And its just him, just something that happened that I have no control over, and I can't fight it…. Then I'm helpless…."

"We are all helpless sometimes Sam, it's part of being human…. Now why don't you yourself try to get some rest…. We can work on this more later, you know your boys are always welcome to stay here as long as you need."

"Thanks…." Sam rolled his neck a little to the side and listened to the pop ring through his ears, admitting to himself but of course, not out loud, that he was more than a little exhausted, even the sleep he had managed to get in the car was restless….

- When Sam awoke he found himself surrounded by darkness and frowned looking at his watch, he had been asleep nearly 7 hours and it was now 2 a.m. … He should not have slept that long, he should be out there, sitting there watching over his brother, the same thing he knew Dean would be doing if the situation had been reversed….

Throwing off the old red and black quit that Missouri had obviously come in and covered him with he rose from the small bed of what he assumed to be the guest room and headed out into the living room, giving his eyes a few minutes to adjust to the darkness….

With a yawn he looked over to the couch and his heart seized to beat as he found it empty…. In a panic he began to search the small house without so much of a sign of his brother, he was gone… he couldn't be gone, not even in the state he was in could Sam believe that he would just get up and wonder off….

With every empty room, his heart grew more and more heavy…. "Where the hell did you go?" He whispered heading toward the front door, not thinking twice about how cold it was going to be out there or taking the time to find himself a jacket….

He only had one thought in his head, and it wasn't of himself.

Stepping out on to the front porch he took a deep breath before jogging down the steps…. He had to find him, he had to…

Breathing out a sigh of relief almost immediately Sam let a half smile come to his face…. He should have figured as much….

At the end of the side walk, there it was shinning underneath the silver light of the moon, his bothers form placed fittingly in the front seat… Bobby must have dropped it off only an hour or so after Sam had fallen asleep….

He made his way slowly down the grass toward where the Impala sat going around to the drivers side and looking in at his brothers form through the foggy window, before opening the door and leaning down a little.

Dean sat face forward in the front seat hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles and the flesh of his fingers were white his body tense as his eyes were fixed on the windshield. "You scared me for a minute there." the silence of the night surrounding the two of them caused those few words to come out in a much louder whisper then they were meant to.

"You need to try to get some rest, your car is going to be here in the morning I promise…." He continued about two minutes later placing a hand on Dean's which was still clutching to the wheel… "Come on…."

This was the first sign of hope that Sam had to hold on to since he arrived to find his brother in his current condition days earlier, and it was not much, that was sure, but at least it was something…. Grasping Dean's shoulder he gently attempted to pull him from the car and was mildly surprised when he found his tug met with resistance….

"Come on…" He cleared his throat with another pull, watching as the grip on the wheel tightened even more so, if that was even possible, "Dean. Now I know you can understand me, get out of the car…"

Nothing.

"No one is going to take it away from you alright…" He had to lean in a little to pry the fingers from the leather wheel slipping his hand into them, a task that seemed a lot easier than it truly was…. "Come on Damn-it…" He grunted loudly and with a hard tug his brothers body was released from the car and in his grasp.

He closed the door quickly and then looked at his brother who was now watching him with fire in his eyes, masking the confusion…. And it made Sam's spine tingle cold. "You understand me don't you….." He whispered placing a hand on his shoulder as he now leaned against the car, head tilted down.

Nothing.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Sam watched as Dean's hand began twitching again and he brought his other hand to stop it. "I can't do this on my own Dean"

Nothing.

"Damn-it!" He growled, he was fighting so hard, so hard to understand what was going on, to understand the pain that Missouri had spoken of, the fear she had warned about, but he was receiving nothing in return…. Nothing at all… This man, this face, this body looked like his brother, but he was empty. Empty of everything, and so confused. And the more Sam fought to understand, the less he did.

"look at me!" He growled through gritted teeth moving his hand from Dean's shoulder to his chin forcing his face up, "I said look at me…." He could feel his own flesh shaking and he knew he was losing his cool, but he couldn't help it…. He couldn't stop it, he had no control over it…. His nostrils flared as he studied his brothers face his lip curling a little. "You're afraid…. Something happened…. I get that…. But I'm still here Dean I still need you. You are the only one who can bring him back… Whatever happened you are the only one who can right this situation….. You have the answers."

Nothing… Dean's eyes stayed forward looking at his brothers face skin cold to the touch, and Sam knew he must have been out here for quite a few hours, just sitting out here, in that seat, just sitting…..

"Where is dad Dean?"

Dean's eyes closed.

"Where is dad Dean?"

He could feel the silent man's flesh tremble now from his had to his toes…

"WHERE IS DAD DEAN?" He didn't know if he was going to break further or snap from whatever the hell catatonia he had forced himself into, but either way something had to happen… something had to be done, answers needed to come.

Sam felt his eyes beginning to build with water as he swallowed his brothers eyes opening to reveal glassy red orbs using his strength he shoved Sam backwards and slowly slid to his knees there in the parking lot feeling the metal of his car… their father's car behind his head he buckled banging his head back into it only once….. Hard as he dropped his face into his hands and started to claw at it just as he had in the hospital…. Only this time with more strength, more force his nails sharp and harsh against his own flesh. Trying to stop the tears or maybe trying to make them come faster as if crying, really crying was going to correct the situation.

Sam scrambled to his feet and came back to his brother sliding down next to him and prying his hands from his face forcefully, to angered to cry himself… to afraid of how shattered Dean really seemed to be as he felt him fighting to free himself…

"He's Dead…." Sam's voice shook, he knew that now, "He's dead, and you saw what killed him….." He forced his brothers body into his, into a hug, even though he knew that it was something Dean, had he been in his right frame of mind, would never approve of or even allow.

The two of them sat there, the rest of the world asleep, until the sun rose… and long after…

_There is always one chapter in my stories that I am unsure of, and for this story this had to be it, I am not happy with the turn out of it, but then again its not really up to me now is it? I hope you guys at least enjoyed it a little, and remember I want to know what you really think…. The good, The bad, and the ugly._


	4. Chapter 4

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 4_

Feeling both his interior and exterior's crumble Sam cleared his throat rising to his feet and dragging his brother's rag doll like form with him, the two of them making their way back toward the house what must have been three hours later at least….

"Missouri?" Sam called out as he sat Dean down on the couch and flipped the TV on placing the remote in his lap… "Just hang out here for a minute alright?" he whispered keeping his voice extra low. Dean's eyes stayed fixed on his brother never once paying an ounce of attention to the commercials playing out in front of him… He watched as Sam disappeared toward the kitchen, and kept his gaze there even after he could no longer see him.

The minute he knew he was out of eye shot Sam felt his knees weaken and slowly slid himself down against the far wall of the small cherry scented kitchen, his whole body trembling with the tears that flew mercilessly from his eyes.

He wiped at them vainly only causing more to take there place, purposely keeping his cries muffled, his insides screaming twisted into a kind of anguish he had never felt before…. Sitting Indian style he slowly placed shaky elbows on his knees and put his head down trying to make the spinning of the world around him stop…..

"Sam?" He could hear her foot steps closing in on him, and yet no matter how hard he fought he could not bring himself to composure, hell he couldn't even lift his head from where it rested, "Sam honey you in here?"

The plump older woman stopped in the entry way to her kitchen and shook her head at the sight before her, "Oh sweetheart…" She whispered her voice once more carrying that warm sentimental tone as she closed the gap between then and kneeled down placing a comforting hand on his shoulder….

"He's Dead." Sam's mumble was almost to soft to be heard.

"What?"

"My father…" He finally found the strength to lift his gaze his red sorrow beaten eyes meeting her soft brown ones. "My father is dead…"

"How do you- Did he tell you something?"

Sam shook his head back and forth swallowing, "He didn't have to…I put the pieces together…. That's the only thing that could put that kind of fright inside Dean, I-I had my suspicions since I picked him up, but I know now as sure as I know my own name… He's gone, and now I'm losing my brother too."

"Oh honey…" She cooed and before another second past Sam found himself enveloped in the comfort of her embrace her arms wrapped securely around him. She could tell by the pain radiating from him, by the tears making their way down his face, and the tremble in his lips…. That there was no question in his statement.

"What am I gonna do now?"

"It will come to you…" Her tone was sure as the day is long as she kissed the top of his head, "All you need to do is be as strong as you can…. Your brother needs you as much as you need him right now….You are a family now, just the two of you…."

"I need to know what happened…." Sam's eyes closed a shiver coming over his body.

"And you will in time."

"I don't have time, I need to bring him back now so he can tell me what he knows, but he won't open his mouth, he won't scream… he won't cry, aside from a single tear here or there I'm not even sure he can hear me half the time…."

"He hears you Sammy, believe me he hears you…"

"Then why is he doing this? I don't understand…."

"Sometimes sugar, its not our job to understand it's only our job to be there, Your brother loves you, even if he's never told you that, you know that he does, he's not going to abandon you in your time of need just as much as you wouldn't him."

"He already has…"

"Don't say that, he's just been through some pretty traumatic experience-"

"Then why won't he tell me what the hell happened to him… to our father…. So that I can help him?"

"He will when he can. There are many cases when something like this occurs where the person begins to feel numb to everything, they become incapable of showing emotion and expression…"

" He's not just a person, he's my brother… And that's not like Dean… I mean granted he's not the sharing and caring type, he's never been one to close off like this…"

"Well sweetie, he's never been in this situation before either, neither you nor I know what took place, we didn't see what he saw or feel what he felt so we cannot judge his reaction…"

"Okay, so what do we do now?"

"I want you to leave…." She rubbed his back lightly.

"Where are we supposed to go?"

"Not we… You, for an hour or so, take a walk and clear your head… just get out for a bit Sam… you need to put yourself back in order before your going to be any good to anyone…"

"But I-" Sam's words were halted when he looked toward the doorway having caught his brother's form standing there out of the corner of his eye. "Hey you… what's the matter? Nothing good on the tube?"

Dean's eyes were angry, infuriated as he looked down at him his jaw clenched fists tight hanging at his sides,

"What is it? What's the matter?" Sam asked innocently rising to his feet and taking a few unsteady steps in Dean's direction, he began to wonder exactly how much the obviously agitated man had heard before he noticed him standing there…

Before he could even reach his brother however Sam found himself pinned up against the fridge, Dean having closed the empty space between them in one quick movement his eyes now tearing into Sam's soul whole-heartedly as Dean's arm shook against the slightly frightened man's chest.

He wanted to say something, wanted to scream, wanted to get mad, wanted… something, Sam could see it in his face, in his tormented gaze, but still nothing came…

"TELL ME!" His teeth we're clenched together, chest puffed out… "TALK TO ME DEAN!"

"Come on sugar…. Come on…" Missouri whispered figuring she had witnessed enough as she laid a heavy hand on Dean's arm, and as quick as the fit of anger had rose up inside of him, in a single second it faded, his arm dropping from Sam's chest back down to his side, he just stood there eyes cast down the perfect still frame picture of the broken man hiding inside of him.

Taking in a deep lung filling breath Sam felt his heart beginning to beat again watching his brother standing before him. "It'll be okay." He was at a loss for anything else to say.

"Go on Sam… go…" Missouri urged leaving her hand still on the upper part of Dean's arm, "We'll be okay here, we have some talking we need to do anyway… ain't that right sweetie?"

Sam let his eyes fall from his brother to Missouri before giving her a slight nod, "Alright, but I won't go far if you need anything… Any changes you call me and I'll be right back here.."

She nodded, her grip on the other man's arm tightening when he began to move in the same direction as his little brother, "No, he needs to go this one alone, he'll be alright, you stay here with me…"

She led the way back into the living room once she heard the sound of the front door closing, sitting herself down on the sofa and Dean next to her, "Now, I don't suppose if I ask you your just going to tell me what is going on in that head of yours are you?"

Not so much as a muscle moved in response as Dean's head now stay tilted downward staring blankly at his hands.

"That's what I thought…" She sighed a little to herself and leaned over running a soft hand through his messy and unwashed hair… "Your brother really is worried about you, and the truth be told even I'm not sure your going to make it out of this one… You're a fighter, a warrior just like your daddy, but our souls are only made to handle so much, and I fear that yours was pushed past it's breaking point…. But… That does not mean you get to stop trying…" She closed her eyes momentarily, "It just means that you have got to try harder, I know you don't want to face it but, damn-it boy… you've got to, your baby brother is counting on you to pull through this… and to pull him through it as well…"

A chill ran down her spine as the last of her small speech crossed her lips, she swallowed hard a vision… a sense filling her body as her hand still rest atop dean's head… her blood running cold… She could feel it…

Closing her eyes once more this time with a purpose she concentrated on the vibes radiating from the nearly catatonic figure as she felt his flesh begin to quiver…

_Death… _She sensed it now surrounding him like a blanket smothering his every pore and every airway, deeper though this ran much deeper than the passing of a life, there was _Anger _so much anger that it made her stomach nauseated. _Blame. Pain. Sorrow. _All swimming around his head, he was drowning in there and there was no way for him to get out… He was trapped… No one thought clearer than the next or less painful than the one before…

"You cannot blame yourself for whatever it is that happened Sugar, it was meant to be…" She opened her eyes and scooted a little closer to him, "Death is all a part of life, it is the beginning of what is only the second chapter of a book far longer than any of us have ever read, and you cannot bury yourself in there… under someone else's pages… Your father never would have wanted this for you… Never…."

She watched as he shook his head a little and closed his arms around his body…

"I know it's cold, your insides are numb, but you have to allow yourself to feel in order to be able to…"

He looked at her, only for less than a minute, and she could see it now as clear as day written there across his young tortured features as clear as she could see the printing on the pages of a newspaper. He had given up, let himself slide down deep into his own sadness. So much was told by just looking at him, the stories of a man three times his age lay buried just beneath the surface.

"You just have to remember to live your life one breath at a time." She placed her hand on his cheek sweetly, "And everything else will come as it is needed…"

Sam could not bring himself to leave as he now stood just on the other side of the small white door looking out at the world ahead of him, he could hear every word being spoken, even as he attempted not to listen to them and they were a much needed comfort as he realized now what he was going to have to do….

The only way to know for sure what happened, was to begin again, go back to where Dean had been found…. Further back to where the car had been found and retraced every step he knew they would have taken….

"Dad's journal…" He exhaled the words lightly from his lips unable to believe he had let such an important piece of their life… of their demon hunting world slip his mind until now as he jiggled the keys in his pocket and headed down the steps to search the trunk of the Impala…

Pushing aside the typical armor and bullets that were to usually be found it only took him a matter of minutes to grasp the small brown leather bound book between his fingers and pull it out… Even if he was gone…. Maybe dear old John Winchester still had the answers to this mystery after all…

Entering back into the house he found the two people already residing there surrounded by the sounds of silence as he let a smile cross his lips and held it up…

"What's that you buy a book or something while you were out?" Missouri asked a questioning look on her face as she noticed the smile across Sam's…

"No, this… this is going to give me all the answers that he can't, it's the key to every mystery we've ever needed to solve so why should it be any different this time around?"

Dean's eyes quickly filled with terror as he looked at the small book in his brother's hands and his breathing quickly eradicated his eyes growing twice as large as they normally we're as he shook his head so quickly that Sam thought it might fly from his shoulders had it gone any faster….

"No, no it's okay…" Sam reacted quickly and made his way toward Dean kneeling in front of him and placing the book in his lap…. "See, it's alright, it's dad's journal it's going to help us…. Help you…."

The first sounds to escape Dean's lips in nearly a month were those of a panicked gasping as he looked down at the book resting on his knees and picked it up throwing it across the room as quick as he could and pushing his brother away lightly to bring his knees to his chest locking his arms around them.

"Okay…. Okay, No journal then,…." Sam bit his lip lightly, "But I still know what we have to do, you and I, we have to go back…. Back to Bangor, and back to Orono until I can figure out what it is that took place there, what it is you were hunting, and what it was that happened that night… so that I can fix you, so that I can bring you back."

"Are you sure sugar?"

"No… But I need to try… And. I can't do it on my own, so…" He looked toward his big brother, "Your coming with me."

Dean froze, no more shaking, no more panic filled breaths, not a sound as his eyes were met with the pleading dark brown puppy dog eyes of his baby brother.

And Sam knew he was really… truly seeing him…. As he looked back, there was no tears, no shaking, no scratching, nothing in protest…

And Sam didn't know weather to be worried or relieved as he patted his brother's leg and then rose to his feet.

- Sam slid the journal back into the trunk of the Impala glancing forward to make sure his brother was not watching from where he sat in the passenger's seat as he did so before turning to face Missouri. A sadness in his eyes deeper than when they had arrived pained her heart, but she saw a glimmer of hope in there as well… and she knew that no matter how bad the outcome was going to be… This boy was going to be alright.

"Thank you… So much, for everything…" He ran a hand through his hair before hugging her lightly, "I don't know what we would of done without you…"

"Your more than welcome baby, and when this thing is over, you boys make sure you come and stay a while…. Keep an eye on that brother of yours though, something tells me he's going to be just fine soon enough."

"I hope so…"

"I know so…" She grinned widely her teeth glistening against her dark complexion once more as she made her way around the side of the car and said a quick good bye to the elder of the two boys whispering something, words of encouragement Sam supposed into Dean's ear and squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Then…. They were off….

_Technically this should have been a second part to chapter three, but I wanted to let you all more into Sam's world than I had in the previous chapter, and at least give a partial understanding to what Dean is currently experiencing even if we are yet to come to an explanation about it._ I thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews and I ask that you be honest with me about this one as well… If you hate it, tell me, if you love it tell me, I want to know what you are thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 5_

Sam knew the road ahead of them was going to be a long one, but it was a fight he was willing to endure if it meant he could save the only remaining member of his so quickly diminishing family. He would stick by Dean and see this thing through as long as it took, even if it meant he spent his last breath doing so…

It was funny to him, in the not so haha way, how easily he could slip himself from one world to another, one day he's a normal college boy, and the next he's back on the road his brother at his side hunting evil and destroying demons. Life, he always had to remind himself, was never fair… There was never going to be a white picket fence, or a wife with two point five children in his future… It was just not plausible.

Glancing away from the long stretch of road ahead of him, Sam looked toward his brother and a sense of relief washed over him seeing that Dean had finally managed to fall into some sort of sleep, the roar of the engine beneath him, the comfort of his leather seat surrounding him…. He seemed more at ease than he had any other moment since his 'escape' from the hospital.

This gave the younger Winchester brother the time he needed to come to terms with the whole situation that was quickly engulfing him and his life. A few stray moments to ease himself into the situation and cope with it from top to bottom. Helping him prepare for whatever was to come next.

His father was dead, the man who seemed to have countless encounters with the reaper himself and always pulled out alright, had met his maker, and this time there was no second chance. Sam felt his heart skip a beat as the thought embedded it's self into his head, he had cried all the tears he was capable of crying back in Lawrence, the sadness was gone from him, and in it's place, a deep fiery anger… An anger to find whatever the hell did this, and kill it, without mercy and without a second thought, Spirit… Demon… Witch… No matter what it was, he was going to make sure that it would see no more sunrises from the moment he laid eyes on it, no matter what he had to do.

And Dean… His brother, the strong stubborn son-of-a-bitch…. So delicate, so broken, so…. Deteriorated, for lack of a better word. It scared Sam, more than he would ever let on, to see the man he looked up to so desperately trapped inside his own mind with no way to escape… No way to find his voice, express his pain, or let anyone in.

He let his mind wander there, at that single thought momentarily and his forehead creased accompanied by a frown on his lips. What was going on inside him, what was he thinking about? Was he thinking at all? Were the memories, the visions of their father's death consuming him? Playing over and over inside? Strangling him? Or was there some sort of protective numbness he had built up? Was it all lollipops, candy canes and happiness? Even though he knew it made him a fool, Sam chose to believe for the time being that it was the latter of the two… It just made the pain more bearable of watching his brother go through something like this…

To believe that he was alright in there, somewhere, that there was no pain, no tears left unshed and he had somehow shut himself off from all of it… He knew though that all it would take was one single look into those deep lost brown eyes and his hopes of a painless numbing would be dashed to pieces laying like his broken brother's soul across his mind.

"If only dad were here…" He found the words slipping in a whisper from his lips and swallowed hard. _Dad's not going to be here… He's gone Sam, and you need to avenge his death… Save Dean and together you'll find a way to get through this and move on. _ He hated the sound of his own conscience always reminding him of reality in his head, never letting him for one second dream or hope of a better outcome than the one he knew was inevitable..

"Easy…" He whispered calmly placing a hand on Dean's leg as he watched his body jump slightly his head shifting quickly from one side to the other then stopping again a small childlike whimper coming from his lips… "It's okay…." He continued. "You're alright…"

Dean let his eyes open slowly his brother's face coming blurrily into view as he let out a deep and uneasy breath before turning his body to look out the window. Wrapping his arms around himself and pulling his leather jacket as close to his body as it could get as he watched the road passing by them at over seventy miles an hour.

"We're almost there…" Sam continued talking his voice quiet as he took his hand back from the other man's leg and put it back on the steering wheel.

They traveled another hour in the silence before Dean felt the car begin to swerve and let his body shift back to face his brother, his eyes growing wide as he sat up a little and grabbed the wheel.

Sam's face was contorted in pain his hands resting on his forehead rubbing his temples hard as small breaths came from his lips in a hurried manner fallowed by a loud groan his stomach tying in knots, both men knowing exactly what was happening…

Panic shook through Dean's body as he steadied the wheel in one hand and shook his brothers shoulder with the other veering the car off to the side of the road…

_It was nearly pitch back and so cold Sam could feel the air biting at his skin, his eyes growing wide as he watched the events beginning to unfold before his eyes, this was unlike any other vision he had experienced before…. It was more, Real, if such a thing was possible…_

_The Impala was sitting roadside, and even in the darkness Sam could see what he knew to be his brother's body sitting in the front seat…. Forcing himself to go closer, his vision became clearer and his body went numb…_

_Dean was staring lifelessly down at his hands that were saturated in thick crimson colored blood, smelling so strong from it that Sam himself felt nauseated,…. Tears were pouring from his eyes…. Endless rivers of them making their way down his face, his body was trembling his skin as pale as the moon shining above him…. Yet not a sound was uttered. The silence there was deadly._

_Sam looked down into the front passengers seat and let his eyes fixate on the object there swallowing hard, a gun, a normal everyday run of the mill hand gun, complete with silencer…. Lay resting there an empty clip at it's side.. All six rounds dispensed from it…_

_He watched as his brother began wiping his hands fiercely on his jeans trying to erased the blood placed there, trying to make it go away it seemed… Then his body sluggish he removed himself from the car, his hand grasping the gun before doing so and sliding the empty clip back into it… _

_He begins walking, head and shoulders both slumped so low it appeared as though they were to heavy for him to carry any longer, his movements dragging and listless…_

_Then everything goes foggy…._

Removing his head from his hands Sam opened his eyes his face frightened as his head tilted to look to Dean whose hand still remained on his arm, his face frightened as he studied him….

And that's when it smacked him, like a hand across his face, the reason the vision seemed so real, the reason it ran him so cold, was because it was not the future he was seeing, but the past…

His voice shook a little as he cleared his throat attempting to remove the frog that now rested there, "Wh-where's the gun Dean?" He asked trying to remain as level headed as he could….

Immediately Dean's hand pulled back from his brother's shoulder as he shook his head slow at first and Sam watched as he began wiping his hands fiercely on his pant legs.

"I saw it." He moved in a little closer and put his hand on Dean's wrist hard forcing him to stop rubbing.

The obviously distraught figure head still shaking back and forth lowered his gaze to his hands and stopped rubbing forcing his brothers hand from his wrist with prying fingers he turned his body and began fumbling helplessly…. Desperately to get the door open… He had to get out, he couldn't breathe… And suddeny it was like his coordination was working against him as he felt himself beginning to panic more and more with each second that passed.

Sam grabbed his brothers body from behind and yanked with a numerous amount of effort to pull him in the opposite direction of the door being as gentle as he could in such a situation… "Stop.." His word was evenly spoken, like a father reprimanding his son as he locked his brother's body against his, chest to back, his arms encompassing Dean's midsection, fingers locking, hold tight.

Every muscle in Dean's body was tight, as ridged as a statue aside from the quivering of his flesh, not even taking in a breath.

"Deep Breath." Sam's voice echoed through his ear as he felt his breath a slight comfort against his cold, sweat drenched skin. "No one is going to hurt you…. I won't let them…" He loosened his grasp just a little in good faith. "You can't run from this man, you have to deal…"

Not seeing any other option in this case, Dean let his body relax completely against Sam's and drew in a shaky breath, but still there was not a single word spoken as he closed his eyes and swallowed three times directly in a row obviously trying to calm himself…

"Good." Sam nodded his head still throbbing with the pictures and vivid sensations from his vision only minutes before…. It was as though his brother's memories were playing out in his mind in some sick way giving him the answers he was searching for…..

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you…" He repeated more for himself than anyone else, "But I need you to bare with me on this one as much as you can, no one said it was going to be easy…."

Dean wiggled his body a little to free himself and Sam let go willingly. Drawing his lip into his mouth he watched his brother's next moves carefully. Only moderately satisfied when he resumed his pervious position curling himself as much as he could in the seat, staring out the window arms wrapping around himself…. His eyes were again blank, terrifyingly blank as he rocked slightly in the seat willing himself to block it out.

-By the time they arrived in Orono, the events of the day had taken more than a small toll on Sam's mind and body as he pulled into a hotel right next to the cities entrance and shut off the engine, his hand still resting on the clutch when he felt Dean grab at his hand and looked over, there was no head shaking no expression…. Nothing…

But as he looked at him, he felt the grip on his flesh grow tighter and winced a little… "What is it…"

Then a small disapproving shake…

"Not here?"

Another shake.

"But the next hotel is about an hour in,"

Dean let his hand fall from his the slightly larger one beneath it and Sam noted the shaking of his fingers with a slightly irritated sigh escaping his lips…

"Okay, I've only been driving all day, what's one more hour eh?"

Dean patted his hand softly and Sam shook his head, "Your welcome… Don't mention it."

He could feel the deep dark orbs of his brother studying him as he drove that last hour to the next hotel, both men ragged and tired from the journey they were taking part in. He was watching him as though he were some sort of stranger, as though he had never seen him before, and was enthralled by every blink of his eye lids, or twitch of his nose.

An event that on a normal day would annoy the hell out of the young man, but for now, he just let it slide, as long as he was at ease, and seemed free of suffering Sam could give two shits what he was doing. But he did wonder, exactly why he was being looked at in such a way, and what it was that Dean was thinking….

He knew his brother had never been all that comfortable with the whole vision thing and all… But he accept it, and embraced it as best he could to help Sam cope with the idea of being a freak… And Sam was sure that the 'What the Hell' look he was receiving currently had something to do with the vision he had experienced earlier that day. But then again in his current condition, it could be something different all together….

- The closing steps from the office to the hotel room we're difficult as Sam felt himself mentally and physically draining with every movement, it was only one thirty am, but it felt like he had been awake for more then three days in a row…. Without a wink of sleep.

"Go shower…. Then try to get some rest…" He informed half heartedly flopping down on the bed and closing his eyes dropping the duffel bag beside him. Making sure to keep one ear open as he listened to his brother shuffling around the room, the bathroom door opening then closing…

Dean did as he was told, making his way into the bathroom and turning on the water stripping his clothes off one piece at a time before climbing in, his body was cold… So cold even as he felt the water rushing down on him.

Reaching up he turned the knob quickly shutting off the cold and leaving only the hot, each small bead of water pounding down on his dirty… disgusting skin. He bit down hard on his lip and brought his knees to his chest his eyes staying straight forward staring at the white tiles of the shower wall….

_The water around him turned deep dark red as he watched it swirl down into the drain by his feet, his stomach twisting and turning as he brought his hands up and looked at them his head cocking to the side…._

_Covered, coated in blood that rolled down his arms and dripped to the floor of the tub mixing with the water, no matter how much water came down not a single spot of skin appeared, just blood… so much, it wouldn't wash away…._

_Cold again, freezing, he swallowed and shook his head , he could see the steam surrounding him, swallowing him, but he was still so damn cold…. He turned the water as hot as it could go, and even on the metal knob, red smears appeared, from his hands… these hands…. _

_Numb, he brought his body into a tight fetal position and rested his head back against the side of the tub still staring lifelessly at the tiles in front of him, so pure, so white, and mesmerizing he stayed there waiting, wanting , his body and his sole to wash away bathed in his fathers blood. _

- Rousing himself from sleep Sam opened one eye and focused on the bed next to his noting that it was still empty he sat up quickly and looked toward the bathroom door watching as steam poured from the crack beneath it…. "Shit…" He growled rising to his feet and crossing the small space quickly, "DEAN!"

He didn't even bother waiting for a response, knowing that he was not going to get one, he pushed the door open…. He should not have left him in there, he should not have fallen asleep, it had to have been over an hour now…. He closed the gap standing before the tub and throwing the curtain open.

"Shit…. I'm sorry…" He knelt down and turned the water off as the steam finally began clearing, his brother's body was beat red from the heated temperature his eyes still glued ahead, red and swollen from tears…

"I'm sorry…" He repeated. Reaching over and grabbing a towel . "Let's get you out." He had to do most of the work of course lifting him from the steep slope of the tub and out of it placing him on the toilet, "I wasn't thinking…."

Dean let his eyes cast down now, his brother knew the blood was there, he had to see it, there was no more hiding it…. He held them out in front of him like two snakes he was afraid would bite him, out in his brother's direction… Glancing from Sam's worried face down to them, and back again.

He wanted to ask, wanted to know that his little brother saw it too, he wanted to so bad, but he couldn't…. couldn't talk about it, couldn't talk about anything…. He was a bad bad man, bad son, bad brother, and he was being punished for it…. Blood on his hands, their father's blood that would never go away… Never go away even after he were long dead….

Sam bit his lip softly and slowly rose Dean to his feet, with each moment he spent with the dilapidated man, his worries grew more and more intense, and he only wished he knew what he was thinking… Especially at moments like these, were his eyes actually appeared to house emotions, pain…. His facial muscles twitching head cocked to the side in some sort of battle, a struggle with his inner self…

_Maybe, _Sam thought, _He's trying to get out…._

As they made there way slowly across the small bathroom back toward main room of the hotel, Sam kept his arm securely around his brother's waist.

As they left though Dean caught a glimpse of himself in the small mirror above the sink and his feet froze, his brother's fallowing suit as he glanced side ways to find the older man's eyes locked with those of his own reflection. Staring deeply, burning with disgust…

"Lets get some rest now…" Sam brought his hand up and turned Dean's face away from the mirror and toward his shoulder before leading him the rest of the way out…

It was obvious Dean was to blame for something in this whole ordeal…

Or at least Dean thought he was.

_Thank you, thank you, thank you, I hope that from this chapter at least a few of the pieces are falling into place for you… Let me know what you are thinking!!!!_

_Rosebud _


	6. Chapter 6

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 6_

The night was ten times longer then the day had been as Sam sat up and watched his brother carefully, cautious of what might happen if he fell asleep. There was a George Forman infomercial playing, the only sound that could be heard in the deathly quiet room.

Dean sat with his back against the headboard and his knees curled up to his chest, and sitting there like that, Sam was reminded of a frightened child who has been put in the corner, after being reprimanded. His chin was resting on his hands which were resting on his knees but every few seconds his gaze would shit to his brother…. To see what he was doing, if he was sleeping like he should be, or if he was still watching… helplessly watching him…. And that is exactly what he was doing.

However by the second run of the Damn 'Lean Mean Fat Grilling Machine Super Sufficiency' demonstration, the clock just having moved a tick over to four forty-six…. As Sam's eyes shifted to his brother, he let a small restless smile move to his lips and rose to his feet making his way to the other side of the room.

Peacefully soft snores were now escaping Dean's lips as he slept sitting up body contorted almost fully into a ball head buried in the space between his arms and his chest, "I knew that even you couldn't hold out forever." He whispered to himself as he laid his old brother's body down and covered him with a blanket, receiving no resistance and no protest.

-It seemed like he had only been asleep for a few minutes, his body still aching with fatigue, when Sam reopened his eyes and let his blurry vision adjust to the clock in front of his face… six fifty-three. Well two hours was better then nothing he presumed as the smell of coffee entered into his nostrils filling every inch of his body and over taking all of his senses allowing him to wake-up even faster.

The small coffee pot in the far corner of the room was full of the fresh black liquid and adjusting his boxer shorts over his bare body Sam rose to his feet and popped his joints with a yawn before making his way over and beginning to fix himself a cup.

And that's when he noticed it, the bed beside him was once more empty…. Slept in obviously, sheets still a mess tangled with the comforter, pillow indented with the shape of his brothers head, but currently it was empty.

Sam groaned inwardly and shook his head placing the cup down and going over opening the bathroom door a little, no sign of him in there…. Forcing himself not to panic, seeing as how this had already happened once before. Sam shut his eyes for a second and exhaled before making his way to the front door and peering out….

Sure enough there he sat, cross legged on the trunk of the beautiful black car, coffee in hand, and Sam smiled even though it pained him slightly to do so, he couldn't help it…. From where he stood, Dean's back to him, feet away, the older man looked so normal, so at peace…. He watched as the cup came to his lips and then back down again a few times, his eyes looking up toward the morning sky as if he were reading the clouds, watching them like some slow movie, painting them in his mind.

Satisfied, the younger man nodded to himself before closing the door as softly as he could and going back to getting his coffee…. He knew he couldn't leave Dean alone for to long, but he also knew that people, his brother especially… needed time that was just for them, alone…. To think,. To settle, and to cope.

So he finished making his coffee and then made his way across the room to his duffel bag grabbing out a pair of jeans and a beige hoodie, knowing that this being mid-October he was going to need it….

He took his time getting dressed and putting his shoes on, grabbing the hotel key, which strangely looked like a credit card with a pizza advertisement on it, and his coffee on his way out the door. He stepped out and was greeted with a quick and ruthless chill running up and then down his spine as he took a long welcoming sip from the small cup.

It only took a few steps to close the gap between the hotel door and the parking space of the Impala as he approached the trunk, where his brother was sitting and stood there for a minute tilting his head up, looking… Searching, trying to see what Dean was seeing…. Without any luck of course.

Reaching over slightly he placed a hand on his shoulder his fingers coming in contact with the all to familiar brown leather jacket the Dean always wore…. Sam was thankful when he had found it the previous day wadded up under the front passengers seat, and he knew his brother was too. No matter how many other jackets he put on, this one…. This one was a part of him…

Dean's eyes shifted for a moment in acknowledgement as he sipped his cup and then looked back to the deep light blue depths above the two of them bringing his free hand up and letting his fingers rest on top of his brother's hand on his shoulder only for a minute or two… Long enough to give Sam the small amount of comforting he required to continue functioning….

There was a long comfortable silence that fell over the two of them after that, like a mother hen's stomach to her baby chicks, both boys allowed themselves to be covered in it, until Sam finally cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair…

"We uh, we really need to get going… We've got a lot to get done…." He rocked back on his heels and looked toward Dean out of the corner of his eye who was doing the same in his direction. "So you just hang here alright? And I'll go get the bags, then we'll head out…."

Sam figured the best way to do it was to begin at the small diner next to where the car was found, just walk in there and sit down with his brother at his side, and hope…. Pray that someone recognizes him, says something that is useful….

He hated putting his brother in this sort of situation, it was the true meaning of the words, 'Things are going to get worse before they can get better…' He just, he didn't see any other way of finding out what the hell exactly went wrong…. Except of course for that nauseating piece of a vision that kept replaying it's self inside his head over and over again kike a scratched CD stuck on the same three frames again and again he watched the vivid images before him, feeling the same chill over take him every time, the same nauseating smells and head spiting pictures…

Needless to say, he needed answers, and without Dean saying word one about anything at all, he knew that they would not come straight from the horses mouth so he would have to get them another way…. A longer, possibly more painful way for the both of them…. But what choice did he really have?

Sam was growing used to the over powering and to most deafening silence that was constantly fallowing the two of them, without his brother to talk back to him, to quip at him, there wasn't a whole lot Sam could talk about and not find himself completely uncomfortable… He so missed the sound of his brother's high pitched laugh, the feeble banter that he found oh so entertaining flying from his lips…. The not so words of comfort he would always use to try to make Sam feel at ease about whatever situation the two of them had gotten themselves into at any given time…

He missed a lot of things, that he didn't really know he ever would… until now, so much he had taken for granted, assumed it would always remain the same, and so much had now changed that he found his whole world thrown askew by everything…

As they drove back the full extra hour they had traveled the night before Sam realized just how much of a role reversal had taken place, he thought back to a time not all that long ago, after Jessica's death…. Where he was the one whose soul was so fragile that one wrong move would send him to pieces, he remembered the feeling of complete agony, the lost little boy who worked his way into your soul and tormented it…. The feelings of confusion, and loss…. The pain.

But he also remembered the protective shield that his brother had formed for him, the way he watched over him, worried about him and kept both eyes peeled for the slightest sign of emotional distress, he remembered all of it as though it were only yesterday…. He had never quite thanked Dean for pulling him through that… Had never told him how much it meant to have someone so strong to help hold him up when his knees felt far to weak to stand let alone keep going…. And he guessed he probably never would.

He let a half chuckle fall from his lips, Dean's attempts to comfort him crossing his mind like some awkwardly edited blooper reel. He knew his brother tried to be sentimental… he real did care, but more often than not his words of compassion would come out sounding more like an insult, a frustrated plea for you to shut up and act right…. He just, wasn't very good at exposing his softer side…. A for effort, Sam would tell him. F for execution.

Trying not to be to obvious about it, he watched as Dean leaned forward and flipped on the old cassette player of the car pushing in one of his many Metallica tapes then leaning back again swallowing….

It calmed him down… Sam thought about the time they had to exercises that demon from thousands of feet in the air, on a plane…. He remembered how frightened Dean was to fly… Something he never would have guessed in a million years…. He remembered thinking to himself how weird it was that his strong stealthy older brother was afraid of something that people did everyday on a regular basis…. How strange it was to see him so afraid as they sat in their seats, he swore he could feel the vibrations of Dean's wildly beating heart as he glanced over at him….

Pulling himself from the memories, Sam swung into the parking lot of the small road side café and shut the engine off there for halting the music and forcing his brother's eyes to open again. "Sorry dude, we're here."

Dean's head snapped to the side, and then back to his brother and Sam watched as his adam's apple bobbed hard in his throat….

"So you have been here before then…." He whispered before climbing from the car and going around to the other side opening the passenger's door, "Come on now, we're just gonna eat I promise….."

Both men knew he was lying, Dean may have been temporarily without a few of his marbles but that did not mean he was a complete moron, they did not drive an hour in the direction they had already traveled to come to some road side diner where even from the outside you could tell the food was going to be crap.

Reluctant as he pulled himself from the car, Dean let his head fall concentrating with everything inside of him on the gravel beneath his feet…. He knew that Sam was trying to help, that same hopeful spark in his eyes that he always seemed to wear whenever something had gone wrong…. The same spark a child gets on Christmas morning hoping that Santa Clause had come to visit….

But if he had known, if he had known what Dean had done, if he had been there and seen it all from beginning to end, if Dean could tell him what had happened, would he really be fighting this hard to save a cold blooded killer? The man who had murdered there father? No…. never, he would leave him to rot in his own twisted and distraught emotions, like he deserved to…. He would abandon him and leave him on the side of the road to suffer without a second thought….

"It's gonna be okay…." He felt a warm and comforting hand once more placed on his shoulder and shuttered lightly…. He didn't deserve this, to be treated with such care, and kindness….. He didn't deserve this pity….

Sam watched as Dean's body shuttered and frowned a little rubbing the spot where his hand lay thoughtlessly as he opened the door and lead the way inside… "Just try to relax…"

It only took seconds for a young blonde woman to appear before the two of them, "Just the two of you?" She asked politely as she dug for a couple of menus from below the counter and Sam nodded with a smile in her direction.

"Yes please."

They were lead into the back of the restaurant, there were a few people scattered about the small space, just like any other small café they had been to, truckers mostly, dirt scattering their faces and clothing, the wear of months on the road plastered across their faces.

The young woman found herself strangely drawn to the shorter yet obviously older man, as she drew her lip into her mouth studying him. "Do I know you?" she asked politely as she placed a menu down in front of him….

Dean didn't even bother to look up as he stared blankly at the front page without even opening it….

"He uh….. He doesn't talk…" Sam whispered looking from Dean's unresponsive form to the kind faced young woman, she was cute…. Definitely something he could see his brother making a play for…. Had he been 'In the mood' of course…

"Oh… I'm sorry…." she frowned lightly her voice apologetic…

"But you, uh, you say you've seen him before? Do you remember when?"

She thought for a minute and then nodded, "I see so many people coming in here everyday, but- well never mind, it couldn't be him I suppose…."

"Why not?"

"The guy I'm thinking of…. He came in a little over 6 weeks ago… I had only been working here a few days at that time, and well…. He set me right at ease, quite the charmer….Even gave me his phone number said to give him a call sometime…."

"Oh, Really?" Sam looked back to his brother and slowly placed a hand on top of his that was now gripping the edge of the table with a life threatening hold…. "relax…" He cooed dropping his voice to below a whisper before turning back to her… "Do you remember, was he alone?"

"No…. No, came in with an older fella, obviously his father…." She looked at Sam for a minute, tilting her head, "Kinda resembled you actually….."

Sam nodded, "That was dear old Dad…."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…. That's…My father, and brother, this is uh, his twin…. We've been out looking for them…."

"Ah…" She nodded a little, "Now I understand…"

"Yeah…. Can you remember anything else? Did Dean tell you…. Where they were headed maybe? Or did you over hear anything? It's really important that we find them…."

Her face was once again pensive… "Asked Trudy about the old Wilcox place… Said they were working on a story for some paper or something…."

"Oh…. That's right…." He pretended to know exactly what she was talking about, "I forgot about that story they've been working on…." He looked toward Dean, "Remember the Wilcox story?"

"Yeah, it's pretty much the only local legend we have around here, it's our little claim to fame, and your father and brother seemed more than a little interested in it…."

"They have a passion for stuff like that…."

She nodded a little, "So Trudy sent them up that way…."

"Can you lead me in the same direction?"

Another nod. "Yeah sure, let me uh go check on my other tables then I'll be right back and I'll write you out a map….."

"I'd really appreciate it miss, thank you…."

"Of course, and please… call me Rosie."

"Well We tank you Rosie…"

- Map in hand, drawn on a spread open paper napkin, the two men made there way from the restaurant toward the car and Sam could tell by the stiffness in his brother's limbs that he was in a great deal of mental discomfort, his head had not come up once since they had entered the damn restaurant and now his jaw was locked his hands fisted at his sides….

"I'm doing this for you…. We're going to help you…. Just remember that…" Sam closed the passenger door and frowned realizing he had left his wallet out on the table… He looked from Dean to the front door, and back again…

"Mister!" Came the soft voice of the young waitress as she came running from the door he had exited wallet in hand, he smiled and jogged to meet her, "You left this….."

"What would I do without you today?"

"Be lost… and broke?" She joked handing him the small brown bill fold, "Here you go…. Now you two be careful up that windy road…."

"Thank you….."

Dean swallowed hard and reached up pulling down the visor with the small mirror placed in the center of it, bringing himself face to face with the man he hated more than any other thing in this world, so much so his eyes were stone as he looked at him, this disgusting beast of a creature…. Heartless… soulless….. Disgusting,…. He felt vomit rise into his throat…

Bringing his hand up he struck himself across the face as hard as he could bringing stars to his eyes, his lims no longer stiff, but now shaking as he did it again….and again, the taste of blood… his blood entering his mouth…

Tears formed in his eyes and he swallowed it down his hand meeting his face repeatedly as he stared his head never moving, watching the man in front of him, the eyes in front of him with so much hate, watching as his face was beaten in by his own hand… he deserved this… He deserved so much more than this…

Sam turned from the woman in the parking lot and watched as his brother repeatedly smacked himself in the face, as quickly as he could he ran to his side of the car and threw the door open nearly diving in….. "DEAN!" His voice was full of a reprimanding tone, " STOP THAT!" He growled his grip firm as he grabbed his wrists and forced them down…

Dean's lip curled and his head snapped to the side eyes fired up as they looked at his brother blood dripping from his lips, he used the amount of strength he had left to attempt to free his wrists….

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Sam scowled, "LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF…."

Dean fought again and brought his head up ramming it into his brother's chest… Sam's body jumping with a start, slightly shocked…

His head came back again and then forward into the same spot it had hit before, only this time in a swift quick motion Sam dropped Dean's wrists and now held his brother's head against his chest,…. "Easy…" He whispered his voice relaxing as he spoke to the trembling flesh in his grasp… " Deep breaths. Easy….."

He was still angry, so angry he could taste it in his mouth and feel it in his bones, but Dean did as he was told, and tried to take in a deep breath, he tried but all he got were a few shallow uneasy ones….. Shallow and shaky as he closed his eyes his body going lax only concentrating on his breaths now….

"See…. That's better…. Nice and slow…. We'll get through this, you and I…. I promise, I just need you to hang in there…."

Relaxed, his brother's hand pressed against the back of his head forcing calmness to over take him breathing even it only took minutes for soft slumbers to over take Dean's wracked with pain and quickly dilapidating body…

"Good." Sam mumbled resting his brother's body back in his own seat with ease, before starting the car, from the directions the waitress had given him, he guessed it was about a forty-five minute drive up the road to the old house, they would go, scope it out a bit… Then head back to the hotel for some serious internet searching, So Sam could find out the history of the old place, and the events that had taken place there….

Thankfully, Dean slept the entire way…. And it was by no means what one would call a peaceful slumber, but at this point, anything was better than nothing he supposed.

Large, broke down, the house appeared to seriously be on it's last leg, Sam thought that in its hey day though it must have been quite the sight…. A mansion of some sort own by someone more than a little wealthy… it appeared to be a hundred plus years old….

Now though, the grass was over grown, the paint was chipped, windows broken, and the whole essence of the place was like something straight out of a Stephen King movie, front porch, ratty swing bench and all…

"Dean…" He whispered shutting off the engine and pulling the key from the ignition, "Wake-up man…."

Dean's eyes opened slowly and he sat up looking around a little bringing his surroundings into focus.

"You remember coming here I'm sure." Sam acted nonchalant as he got out of the car keeping a close watch on his brother from the corner of his eye as he climbed out.

"You really did quite the number on yourself this last time," He sighed noticing the already developing bruises around his jaw area….

Dean got out of the car and took a few uneasy steps toward the house watching his brother move quickly toward the front door. He had made it half way from point A to point B when his knees were shaking so badly that he couldn't keep going….

Sam glanced backward over his shoulder when the sound of his brother's foot steps approaching stop. "It's okay Dean." He drew his lip into his mouth and back tracked a few steps placing a hand on his arm… "Come on…."

Dean shook his head back and forth quickly his eyes pleading as he looked to Sam then to the house in front of them, his feet slowly backing up pulling his brother with him…

"I can't leave you alone and go in there, you have to come with me man there's no other way."

Dean's breaths came out short and hard his eyes watering…

"I won't leave you man." His brother's grip grew firmer as he forced them to go back toward the front porch of the creepy looking house. "It's gonna be alright, we just need to go in and take a look around…"

Dean dropped his hand down to his side nervously and began clawing at his jeans up and down over and over again, the closer they got to the front entrance the faster he clawed at himself.

Sam sighed watching him, but said nothing for the time being as they reached their destination and he reached over turning the door knob, a loud creek ringing through his ears as he pushed open the nearly unhinged front door.

Before he could even step through the front door though his eyes shut tightly his world spinning as he felt Dean's finger's grasp him tightly and he fell against the door frame…. It was time he knew, for another mind twisting perception altering vision….

_There in this house, Dean is standing near the far wall…. His father on the opposite end, it's dark outside, pitch black and there is an owl in a close by three that can be heard hooting from where they stand…._

_First Dean's face, his demeanor is cold as stone, his eyes are pitch black with anger and fear as he stands with his feet spread hands stretched out, jaw clenched tightly…. There's the gun again, the same one from before, in the passengers seat of the Impala…._

_Only now Dean is holding it, his fingers placed securely on the trigger, and even with as stone cold as he appears, Sam can tell he is conflicted,. Pain stricken…. The smoke from a shot fired is still clearing…. As another sounds through the air drowning out the hoot of the owl outside the window…._

_Dean doesn't blink…. Doesn't move….._

_His Father, John screams as the second bullet is fired, and Sam can feel the pain and sarrow in his voice, he can feel every ounce of it…. And his face comes in clear as Day…._

_His lips turn blue, his eyes filled with the Same fear as the man who just shot him, filled with the same scared child like look as Sam can see the blood beginning to pour mercilessly from the gapping wound in his chest….._

_A loud clank is heard as the gun falls to the floor _

_Dean, finally able to move again, makes his way across the room Scooping John's body into his arms just before he hits the ground…. He pulls the older man, their father to his chest and his body racks with sobs as together they slowly slide down to the floor. … Dean's cries sorrowful against the sounds of the quiet night…_

Sam's eyes fly open and he swallows repeatedly letting his eyes meet his brothers as tears begin to fall from them…. Confusion consuming him..

_Thank you thank you thank you all of my loyal readers, I hope that once again you have a few more pieces of my little puzzle to put together here, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as you have the ones that came before it…. Please let me in on all your thoughts_

_Rosebud._


	7. Chapter 7

-1**Rescue Me **

_Chapter 7_

Sam's eyes fly open and he swallows repeatedly letting his eyes meet his brothers as tears begin to fall from them…. Confusion consuming him..

And without a word spoken between them Dean knows, he knows that Sam knows now what he's done, how bad of a person he is, and the tremors return to his flesh, the terror to his eyes, as he studies the younger man's face and can see only disappointment found there….

Sam takes a minute trying to grasp what he has just seen in his head, from the looks of it, his brother shot their father, killing him instantly with a double gunshot wound to the chest… But that couldn't be… Dean would do no such thing, John meant the world to him, he was half of his whole reason for living, there is no way it went down like that.

"I don't understand…." He accidentally let the words slip from his mouth to his brother's ears and he watched as Dean's head once again became the center to channel his pain, his breathing became so ragged as he drew his bottom lip into his mouth, that it was like harsh moans screaming from his lip.

Quickly he drops to his knees, breaking the gaze between the two brothers…. He begins rocking his hands in his hair pulling at it, it was obvious to Sam now that he was trying to free himself of the memories…..

It was like he was having some sort of heart attack almost as he dropped the rest of the way so his but was on the porch and without a seconds notice he began to slam his entire body back into the wall of the house concentrating most his strength on making sure his skull hit the wood harder each time….

Sam was paralyzed for a moment as he watched this unfolding, he knew what he had seen in his head, it was so real it was like he had been there, in the room, he knew that the shots fired in their father's direction were from Dean's hand…. But with the scene unfolding in front of him, with his brother in such a state, he also knew there was no way he had done it consciously, there was no way in hell he had murdered their father… There had to b4e some sort of an explanation for everything didn't there?

It was until he heard the loud thumping of his brother's body against the old house that he found his mind clear almost instantly and his limbs able to move again, he could tell by how broken… how crazy his brother was acting that a trigger had been set off in Dean's mind somewhere and he knew now that Sam knew what he had done.

The pain in his eyes, the anger and the horror were all so pure that this fit could have been brought on by nothing else…. Sam dropped to his own knees next to the nearly seizing form, the sounds of his brother's erratic, panicked, Shallow breaths creating a eerie soundtrack to the whole moment.

"Shhhhh…." he swallowed down a few gulps of air his own world swimming as he tried to bring his head back on straight, Gently he grasped Dean's hands in his and pulled him away from the house and toward Sam….

"I kno-" He cleared his throat….. "I know you didn't do what you think you did, there has to be answers for this… and we are going to find them…."

Dean's head was throbbing now, his vision blurred as Sam watched his pupils dance for a minute to the rhythm of his tired, loud, shaky breaths. It was like his body weighed two tons as he looked down at his hands and willed himself to pull them away, but it was just to hard… everything was just two hard, as he looked at his brothers face through blurred eyes….

Sammy, he had done so wrong by his baby brother, that nothing would ever be right again no matter what they did…. Sammy, his Sammy, was never going to forgive him… Even now as he studied the look of compassion and sadness in those deep brown orbs staring back at him, he knew that under the surface…. Sitting there waiting for the right moment, was the anger, the disgust and the hatred… How could it not be?

If Sam had seen what Dean knew he had, then all those feelings had to be there somewhere, there was no time for logic here, because there was no logic to be found. He had killed there father and Sam had seen it, right here in this house…. Right here… he had looked into his eyes and watched as the bullet ripped into his chest before holding his dying body during his last few breaths….

Sam's forehead creased with a frown as he watched Dean's expression change deeper into terror, it was as though he were watching him be eaten alive right there, his hand's still being held…..

The younger Winchester brother watched as Dean's face contorted, his adam's apple fighting for every single in take of breath, as his eye lids drooped to a close…

The images, the memories, teasing and taunting his tortured mind now more then ever, _what had he done? He was a sick, sick bastard and he deserved to be punished for what he had done, he deserved to die…. He deserved to_…. His self scolding was interrupted by the feeling of hot tears working there way down his cheeks from his eyes …. He had no right to cry, no right to feel tears, this was his fault, he caused it…..

Then his brother's thumb against his cheek wiping them away…. It was shaking just as his own hands were, but Sam's touch was always more gentle than Dean's he was just simply a more gentle person, he cared more about those sort of emotions….

"I'll save you…." Sam's arms were warmer than they had ever been, his embrace tight as Dean felt strong arms embracing him, truly….. Whole-heartedly holding him….

Like he had longed to be held since the moment this whole mess had begun, like he had held their father's body in his own arm's waiting for him to pass…..

But why…. Why was he doing this?

Feeling the body in his hold stiffen a little, Sam didn't know what else to do other than grip tighter to it, so he did, he held his brother as tight as he could, wishing that somehow his strength, his courage and anything else Dean needed right now would simply be fed to him through there embrace.

Exhaling and attempting to even out his breathing , as he tried to stop them, more tears came, more and more sorrow filled his body, spilling over into his eyes and finally unable to hold on any longer, Sam's hug was returned,….

Like the grip of life he felt his brother's arms slide around him, and this of course made tears begin to spill from Sam's eyes as well and he nodded to himself, he knew that this would be a moment neither one of them would speak of again, assuming that was that Dean would ever speak again….

But he also knew that this was a break through, into a world he had not yet been able to travel, it was a crack in the gateway to his brothers insides, to rescuing his soul and saving him….

His shirt was quickly becoming wet and Sam knew he was near the edge….

Sam looked up toward the front door to the house that still remained open, What was he going to find in there???? What was hidden behind this broke down exterior? There had to be answers somewhere, and he was going to find them.

However, he looked down at the man still weeping in his grasp and sighed softly, now…. Was not the time.

"Let's go back to the hotel now okay?" His words were gentle without frustration, without anger, or dismay…

He rose to his feet and leaned down gripping Dean around his upper arm and pulling him up onto unsteady feet… He watched as with each step Dean's head snapped back looking toward the Wilcox mansion…. With each step his body language growing a little more lax.

- It took more than eight hours for Sam to get Dean relaxed enough to rest, the clock now reading quarter to midnight as Sam sat on his bed and opened his lap top….

"Wilcox…. Wilcox…" He mumbled to himself pulling up goggle search engine and typing in _Wilcox Murder Maine . _

He scanned quickly through the many links that popped up reading the small description paragraphs, every now and then looking up at his brother, checking on him, every few minutes.

**Murder stuns town. **

_Orono Maine, 13th December 1979. _

_Early Sunday morning authorities arrived on the scene of the most brutal crime this city has scene in many years, finding the body of billionaire Charles Wilcox sprawled out across his own living room floor, Dead… due to a double gunshot wound to the chest….._

_Officer Ken Carver, the first to arrive on the scene, later told reporters, that the body was found laying in a deliberately vulgar position, legs spread wide, head cocked to the left hands resting around his genitals…._

_Charles son, and heir to the Wilcox fortune, Edward Wilcox was found huddled in the corner of the back bedroom, the gun still tight in his grasp, the blood of his father still drenching his body…._

_The murder of the wealthiest entrepreneur this side of Hollywood comes as a shock to all who knew the kind hearted man, and even more shocking is the pure fact that his death was at the hands of his own son…_

_Edward is being held without bail, and the police are still at this tme waiting for a full confession about the events that took place._

_-R.E. Cummings._

Sam felt the air escape him as he stared at the page in front of him on the computer screen, not believing what he was seeing….

It couldn't be could it?

He clicked out of the first article and quickly opened another, then another, then another… All of them saying basically the same thing,

Charles was murdered by Edward, his son…. And the police were now holding the son in custody, no leads as to what had lead to the "seemingly sweet" young man to kill his father.

Answers, Sam couldn't help but smile to himself rubbing his chin, Finally answers, this had to mean something didn't it? A lead….

He decided to look further into the case before him, see if there had been any more deaths in that place since December of seventy nine, and sure enough, over the last two decades…. Ten people had died, and ten more were charged with their murders, none of the accused able to give any explanation as to why they had done what they had done….

All remembering what had taken place, but none of them able to give a reason for it…. A 12 year old boy and his father had gotten a flat tire only a mile or so up the road from the house in 1989, and had walked there to see if by chance someone was there who could help change the tire…. Or call for the police…. And the next morning, Dad was dead, and Son was being lead away in hand cuffs…

The only thing any of these people had in common was, A) They were inside the house, and B) They were all men, not always father and son, but always one older and one younger…

Sam's hands shook has he closed down the last of the open windows on his computer and set the laptop aside taking in a deep breath…

He looked over at his brother sleeping in the bed beside him, he looked to be nearly 40 years old, the bags under his eyes dark and defined, his lips dry and cracked, his flesh pale… His body was thinner than Sam could ever remember it being before….

"I don't know how, but I'll make you understand…. I'll make you see that this wasn't you, this wasn't your fault…. I'll rescue you big brother and I'll bring you back," Even as the whispers of his own words filled the air surrounding him though, Sam found them hard to swallow. His brother was not just going to forget what he had done, he was not just going to accept what had happened and go on living his life…. He was never going to be the same again, of that the young man was sure.

He also knew that there were still pieces to be found before this puzzle could be solved, buried pieces that he was going to have to dig for…. Why had the young man killed his father, why were there two spirits haunting this house? It was obvious they were the spirits of father and son, but how had Edward died…. And what was the significance of the nature of the body on the living room floor?

Reaching for his cell phone on the small table next to his bed he redialed bobby's number, he knew he was going to need help with this, and Bobby was one of the only people he had left in this world that he could depend on.

"Bobby….. This is Sam" He kept his voice extra low as he climbed off of the bed and made his way toward the bathroom leaving the door open only a crack to keep an ear open for his brother.

"I need you, there's been a break in the case, and I know I can't handle this one on my own…"

Sam's faced turned into a pained expression as he listened to the man on the other end of the phone, questioning the whereabouts of his deiced father…

"I-I'm sorry,…" He bit down on his lip, "He's Dead…"

There was a long painful silence that fallowed and Sam knew that his 'uncle' so to speak, was trying to digest the news…

"I can't really explain just now how it happened, but I need your help…. We're still in Orono…Dean's getting worse by the day… And like I said before I can't do this on my own, I feel like my insides are being ripped apart and it's all I can do to keep up this tough guy act…. I have answers now though…. "

Sitting there listening to Bobby agree to come Sam found sobs of relief working their way into his throat, finally everything was coming together, and help was on the way…. As quickly as he could he gave the address and ended the phone call…

Closing the small metal contraption he set it on the edge of the bathtub and lowered his head into his hands, how had everything gotten so screwed up? How was it his father dealt with this shit everyday and never broke?…. How had he done it before himself? Had he really grown weaker, this fucking weak in his time away from the whole hunting gig?

"_you can't bring it home with you." _ He heard his brother's voice in the back of his mind and an angry smirk came to his trembling lips….

"If only it were that easy this time around…." He brought his hands up around his chest, this had been a day of breakthroughs, heartbreak, pain and relief… and his stomach was more nauseated then a man who had ridden the tallest rollercoaster in the world ten times in a row.

Slowly he rose to his feet and stepped out of the bathroom, his knees were unsteady, his mind was reeling, and all he really wanted to do now was find someway to numb himself…. Numb everything inside of him, everything around him… And sleep… Sleep for days, months even….

But one look at his brother, a glance to the side toward his slumbering form, and he knew that was impossible, he had to watch over him, had to stay alert… Just in case.

He knew now what Dean felt like every time Sam had found himself in some sort of trouble, physically or mentally, and his brother would stay awake watching over him, hours and hours of nothing but sitting there beside him, looking down at him, watching him as though he were waiting for him to do some sort of trick…. Meanwhile Sam would be off into soft slumbers unaware of the fatigue plaguing his brothers body an soul, never once thinking twice about what it felt like to be on the other end of such a short stick….

And now he knew…. He knew everything, as he sat down on his bed legs crossed reaching for the remote and flipping on the TV… And he had never been so thankful in his entire life.

_I know that this is not as long of a chapter as most, but a lot of answers came out, to many of the questions that seemed to be plaguing some of you…. Although there are still many more to come. I thank you so much for your overwhelming response to the last chapter, and I hope you liked this one just as much, Please R&R and let me know what you are really thinking, the good the bad and the ugly… _

_Rosebud_


	8. Chapter 8

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 8_

It didn't take long for Bobby to arrive, and Sam was thankful when he did, the clock on the television had just finished change to 4:46 am… Sam was getting used to this whole lack of sleeping thing as he rose zombie like to his feet and tip toed to the door pushing it open his tired eyes peering out into the deep black sky of what could hardly be considered early morning…

"Hey kid…" Bobby smiled sadly toward the young haggard looking man.

"Hey bobby." He kept his voice at just below a whisper not wanting to chance waking Dean. "I didn't know you were gonna head out here tonight…"

"I just figured you could use the…help."

"Yeah."

"So you wanna tell me what exactly is going on?"

Sam stepped aside for him to come in, nodding wearily, he didn't know which part of him was more tired, his body or his mind. "Keep your voice down though, this is the longest stretch of sleep he's had and I want, I need him to stay that way."

"Has there been any change in him what-so-ever?"

"He's fighting…. He's trying…. But he's suffering…." Sam slid down onto his bed Bobby pulling a chair up next to him ready to listen to everything he was about to say…. Leaning forward his hands resting on his knees, but Sam wondered what he was going to say, how he was going to feel when he heard everything there was to hear about the events of the last few days,…. And the night of John's death as well…

So his voice hesitant he began….

He told him about the visions of the past, the blood on Dean's hands the walk along the highway, then about the self harming, the anger, the fear and the sadness, about the way even though he seemed to be coming closer and closer to the surface of himself, he seemed to be more and more lost at the same time. Finally feeling ready enough he told him about the latest past vision, about the shots that Dean fired killing their father and about Charles and Edward Wilcox….

By the time the conversation had ended, Sam swore Bobby's jaw was only a centimeter or two from the ground, the look on his face forehead wrinkled eyes wide, said that he was trying to swallow everything…

"De-Dean… Wow…" He whispered finally and then cleared his throat quietly before continuing, "But it wasn't really Dean, it was this Edward guy in your brother's body right?

"Right… But Dean remembers everything that happened that night, and he's blaming himself because technically it was still his hand that pulled the trigger…"

"Oh man…" Bobby's head lowered a bit his eyes still looking toward the youngest of the Winchester boy's. "No wonder you needed a little help on this one Sammy."

"Yeah, well believe me… If I could of went it alone maybe I could handle it, but I can't just leave him somewhere and come back for him, he's the key to many answers that I still have yet to find…. And somehow he will tell me what they are…. He has to, there is no other way…."

"What exactly is it you think he can tell you that you can't find out on your own now that you have a pretty solid lead to fallow?"

Sam thought for a minute and drew his bottom lip between his teeth a sure sign that there was more he wanted to say but wouldn't dare speak it right now.

"Alright, never mind for now." he rose to his feet and rolled his neck, "I'll stay awake, you try to get some rest will you?"

Sam was grateful for those few words as he slid down into the warm comforting hotel bed, most people would probably find them, hard or uncomfortable, but to Sam they were all he had ever known, and he felt as safe here as he would in his own house, in his own bed…. If he ever had one. He was yet to really have a place of his own, he traded hotels for dorm rooms and now it was back to hotels again….

Trying to shut off his thoughts, the sun coming up peeking through a broken blind on the window directly in front of him, he shifted to his side and blinked his eye lids heavy as he studied his brother's face… And even with everything that was currently going on, Sam couldn't help but remind himself what a remarkable man his brother was….

So strong, a modern day warrior, he never complained about anything, even when they were younger and he would have to take care of all three of them, his father, his brother, and himself… He never complained once about it, he just did it without so much as a second thought… He was so rough on the outside, so rough and ready to fight all the time, another of his warrioresque qualities, he would never back down until he knew he had won, he would never give up until he knew everyone was safe….

And he cared so much, he cared so damn much for everything, everyone was put before him, he always thought of himself second and everyone, everything else first…. Even if he pretended to be a constant hard ass. Sam knew better than that….

It didn't take long for Sam's thoughts to be interrupted and over run by sleep as they all began to run together and before he knew it, a deep black calming slumber was all that remained inside of him… Bobby pacing the floor in front of the two beds watching over both boys just as he knew John would have wanted him to.

- Dean woke first, it took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the room as they were quickly filled with the late morning sun… His body felt rested, his limbs stronger, but his mind,…. His mind was still so tired, it felt like he was yet to sleep at all.

He sat up slowly, the room was empty aside from Sam's sleeping form next to him, looking straight in front of him, his head cocked to the side as he looked into the long mirror only a few feet away… And saw himself staring back. The anger…. The Disappointment,… The nausea returning to him as he locked eyes with the man he detested so deeply…

His heart began to race, his eyes clouding over with a fire vengeful enough to kill, his fists shaking, he was up from the bed and lunging toward the mirror. He was going to kill the man in the mirror, murder him, just as he had murdered his father, he was going to take the breath from his lungs and leave him dying….

He hated that man, hated him so bad it made his head throb, as he brought his fist back and then forward into the large piece of glass causing it to shatter instantly upon impact accompanied by the first truly audible sounds to escape Dean's mouth as he growled loud and deep, painfully and brought his fist back again and hurled it toward the broken reflection…

The sound of shattering glass roused Sam immediately as his eyes flew open and his body upright on to his feet, seeing his boxer clad brother before him, hearing the sound… the actual sound of his anguished almost sob like growls…

"DEAN NO!" He screamed wondering only for a split second where Bobby had run off to as he flew forward just before his brothers now bleeding fist could come in contact with the shards of glass again and grabbed him by the waist…..

Dean was numb to it as he felt his body being restrained, his growling grew twice as loud in volume his body trembling as he kept his feet moving trying to free himself and lunge forward once more toward the broken reflection in front of him…

"DEAN!" Sam grunted, this really was testing his strength as he felt his own feet giving way but refused to stumble holding tight to his brothers torso… "STOP! DEEP BREATHS REMEMBER?"

Dean clawed at the fingers gripped around him his grunts and growls a constant as Sam could feel the blood his hands sliding don his own flesh…

"I'm not letting go…" He made sure not to scream now, but his voice was still just as firm as he put his head on his brother's shoulder from behind… "I'm staying right here…. You and me we're gonna fight this…."

Dean slapped at his hand harshly and Sam swore he heard a whine escape his lips as Dean's eyes stayed fixed, glaring at the broken glass in front of him, and more importantly the face behind the broken pieces….

"Don't look at him…" He whispered and as he kept his right arm tightly around his brother he brought the left up shifting the older man's head away from the mirror and to the side leaving his hand there even as he felt Dean's jaw clench and attempt to push against it in a freeing attempt… The two of them now locked in a very awkward position…

As the moments passed Dean's growls grew nearly non-existent and the clawing on his brother's flesh weakened, but Sam did not dare to let go… He didn't know what would happen if he did…. So they stood there….. And stood there, even as he felt his brother lean back harder into him, obviously beaten down with fatigue…

"Sammy you awa-" Bobby opened the door slowly and frowned at the sight before him, "What in the hell happened here?" The older man was holding a drink carrier with three large coffee cups in one hand and a bright pink box that obviously was holding donuts in the other…

"A little help here?" Sam grunted softly….

"Oh… shit… Yeah, what do you want me to do?"

"Get that damn mirror out of here for starters, and the one in the bathroom as well… "

"Of course…." Bobby nodded and quickly went to work prying the mirror from the wall and placing it outside the hotel room door with a note that said, _Had an accident last night, will pay for damage._

Then he moved into the bathroom and removed that one as well with a little more effort…

Feeling it was safer now Sam slowly let go of the hold he had on Dean and lead him back over to his bed sitting him down, "That was quite the wake up call you gave me there big brother, Quite the wake-up call"

Dean said nothing, not even attempting to pull his bloody fist back as Sam inspected it, he hated being babied, he hated it more than anything… but right now he just sat there, just sat lifeless on the bed….

"Hey bobby?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will you see what you can find in there as far as first aide please?"

"Mhmm…" The older man exited the bathroom only a minute later with a small white first aid kit under his arm and set it down on the bed next to Dean before sitting on the other side of him himself….

He didn't say anything right off, he just looked, really took a good look at the oldest Winchester son, he was so meek now, so…. Barren compared to how he used to be… He just seemed to have nothing inside of him anymore that resembled the Dean Winchester Bobby had watched grow up since he was less than a boy, and that stung harsh and cold into his heart…

Holding his brothers hand in his own, Sam pulling out the small brown bottle of peroxide and unscrewed the cap with his teeth spitting it into his lap and glancing up toward his brother whose face was drooped down to his chest….

"This is going to sting…" He mumbled and it made him think of all the times he had cut himself as a kid, Dean would always be there to lift him and his injured limbs off the pavement taking him into the bathroom and sitting him on the closed toilet seat he would smile, a goofy smile, and say to him… "No tears Sammy boy, this is going to sting… but it will keep the infection out…" And then when he was done, Dean would reward him with a bowl of lucky charms for being such a trooper….

The minute the peroxide hit his knuckles Dean fought to pull his hand back his teeth clenching together…

"Just hold in there…."

Bobby put a hand on Dean's shoulder, a strong warm hand and rubbed it lightly.. "So I uh, brought some donuts, took every jelly one that little shop had, I knew they were your favorite, so I bought enough to feed you for the next ten years…"

"Especially with the appetite he's had…." Sam exhaled as he rose back to his feet and went toward the bathroom to wash his own hands, hands that were now covered in scratch marks, clawed at, but thankfully the skin had not been broken. "we're lucky if he eats at all let alone a full meal. He's got this whole self punishment thing going on…"

"Ah I can see that…" Bobby let eyes roam Dean's flesh taking note of every bruise and cut mark that now bathed his flesh, every mark that he himself had put there…The dark bruises on his cheek and jaw line the cuts on his hands and eye lids, he definitely looked as through he had been six rounds with a demon… and the demon won.

"Yeah…" Sam sighed softly returning out of the bathroom and running a hand through his hair. "This has certainly been an experience."

"So what's the for today?"

"I'm thinking we're gonna head back to the diner, the young woman I met there, who knew Dean, Said something about an older woman who worked there, named Trudy…. Maybe she'll know about what happened in 79'…."

"We're gonna have to go back to the house…. You know that right?"

"We're not going back there, until we know for sure what happened there, and how to stop it…."

"Just stopping this thing is not going to be enough to bring him back you know that don't you?"

Sam swallowed, He knew that, of course he knew that, he wasn't stupid…. But he could pretend couldn't he? At least for now he could pretend that fighting this thing, defeating it, was going to somehow magically relieve his brother of his inner suffering and somehow bring him back to the world of the living… He could pretend that everything was going to be set right. Right? He needed to, he needed to fight something, feel less helpless, and make himself believe that he was doing something right…

Bobby got up from his spot on the bed studying Sam's expression and deciding that for now this conversation was over, now was not the time for these things to be discussed. Walking to the small table he picked up two of the coffee cups handing one to Sam and then grasping the third he headed back to take his seat by Dean…

He placed the cup into his hand and Dean's eyes only now looked up from his lap where they had been staring dully almost the whole time since his brother had sat him down.

"Drink this at least…"

Those words were the end of all the morning's conversations as the three men, the broken, the strong, and the confused all sat together drinking mindlessly from there coffee cups, each one lost in a different set of thoughts then the one next to or across from him….

- It was nearly two in the afternoon when the Impala found it's way back into the parking lot of the small road side café, that only now Sam realized was actually called 'Roadside Café' and he read underneath the small sign where it said, in italics, _Home of the best waffles this side of your own stove._

Dean's face was filled with an unpleasant glare as they made there way from the car back toward the entrance and the pretty little Rosie who he had hit on so hard the first time he had come here, the time he had come here with their father…

"If looks could kill…" Bobby opened the door for the two younger men,

"Then I would have been dead long ago…" Sam finished with a small smirk…

"Hello and welcome to-Sam?" Rosie smiled even wider now, as she cut her greeting short and stood there with her arms crossed, "Just couldn't get enough of them waffles or what?"

"Actually Rosie…I was kind hoping that you could introduce me to this Trudy, the one you said my father and brother talked to when they were here?"

"Is something wrong?" She asked prying slightly as she looked into the eyes of the handsome and very tall young man, she had thought about him for hours the first time he and his brother had come through, and now here he was again… Not quite as charming as his older brother, but just as cute, and the one thing she would always remember would be that smile, it was nearly infectious it was so beautiful…

But there was no smile this time around, only serious, dark eyes…. Sweet…. But serious, dark and pained… she could see it.

"No… No I just, we, were hoping to talk to her about a few things up at the old Wilcox place…."

Rosie nodded causing the ponytail on her head to bob a little, "Alright then, I'll go into the back and get her, she's catching up on the paperwork around here,…. You all just take a seat and I'll be right back okay?"

Sam and bobby nodded and turned to head back into one of the more private booths Sam leaving a hand on the small of his brother's back forcing him to fallow.

It was only a matter of minutes before a short heavy set woman appeared from behind the small counter, _she looks like someone named Trudy…_ Sam thought to himself, with her salt and pepper curled up hair that rested under her ears, and her pink cheeks, her face had a few wrinkles scattered here and there….

She walked directly toward them and stopped in front of there table with a soft small smile, "How might I be able to help you…."

Sam returned her kind smile and held his hand out to her, "I'm Sam… this is my uncle Bobby and my brother De-"

"Dean." She smiled at the young man sitting on the inside of the booth next to the one who had just been identified as his brother, "Didn't think we would see you around here again…"

Dean's eyes shot up at the sound of his name a worried expression in his eyes as he looked at the older woman and then to his brother fingers gripping the salt shaker he had been studying whole heartedly until his name was sounded into the conversation…

"No, this is Dennis…" Sam inhaled a little, "Dean's twin brother…."

"Oh…" The woman cocked her head a little, "Must be absolutely identical twins…"

"You have no idea…" Bobby chimed in looking over at Dean through the corner of his eye,

"Please have a seat.." Sam gestured toward the empty spot next to Bobby, "We were hoping that you could answer a few questions for us about the towns local history…. How long have you lived around here anyway…"

The stout woman welcomingly took the invite to get off her tired feet sitting herself down with a slight exhale of breath as she answered. "All 65 years of my small town life…"

"Then you know about the Wilcox mansion and the murders that took place there?"

The woman once again found her eyes on Dean, as she listened to what Sam was saying, she watched as he began shaking his head only lightly every few seconds back and forth as though he were listening to some sort of music in his head his fingers white as he gripped the salt shaker his eyes dancing in there sockets as he looked at everything around him, but even she could tell by the expression on his tired face that he was taking in none of it….

"What is it with your family and that house?" She asked out of curiosity after a minute forcing her eyes from Dean to Sam, "Your father and brother asked me that same thing…."

"They we're working an a story is all…. And uh, well, my father and brother have gone missing…"

"That's horrible…" she frowned a little, "But not surprising…."

"How so?"

"Well, this is a small town… And it's not so easy to cover up what goes on around here…"

Sam nodded. "Yeah…"

"Since the murder there in 79... There have been a constant string of mysterious events… The papers always come up with one story after another, some having truth to them, other obviously exaggerated… Nothing good has come from that place…"

"Tell me about the man who was killed, Charles… And his son…."

Trudy tilted her head back a minute thinking back to over twenty-five years ago, digging into her memory… "Charles was quite the gentleman…. Even in high school, see we graduated only a few years apart… And he always knew he was going to be successful… We all did… He was so full of expectations for himself… So when we graduated, he went off to California…. To Stanford…. To study business, and it was quite a few years before anyone heard from him again…."

"When he returned, in the summer of nineteen 70.… he was the talk of the town…. He bought the house for him and his son"

Sam interjected here for a moment, "Only him and his son? What about Edwards mother where was she….?"

"She had passed four years earlier giving birth to Edward." She frowned a little at the thought, "And to this day I still believe that Charles somehow blamed the boy for it… When he returned home, all of us knew that there was a part of him missing, he wasn't the same you know?…. So… Anyway… He ran his trade business from home, we hardly ever saw him in town, he was always working…. Always busy, and never had time for much else, even that poor boy of his hardly saw the light of day… He had private tutors and no friends… Aside from his father everyone assumed…"

"So he was a recluse then?"

She nodded in agreement, "But- He was an amazingly generous man, he gave thousands upon thousands of dollars to many of the businesses here in town, and in those days that was more than anyone had done…. In the Christmas of 72' he gave a million dollars to the local hospital and they even named a wing after him they were so honored…."

"What about the boy?"

"Edward…" She cleared her throat, "From what we could tell Edward was what one might call a special soul, there were many rumors that during his difficult birth something had gone wrong…. He was a sweet child, but it was like all the pieces weren't there…. You know? A screw or two loose… That was the reason the boy was forbidden to leave the house… The only people to see him regularly we're those who Charles allowed, his tutors, doctors and such…."

"Is that why you think he did what he did?"

"You mean murdering his father?"

Sam watched as a single tear came from her eye…

"I can remember that day like it was no longer ago then yesterday, the whole town was in mourning… All the holiday festivities were put on hold… I woke up to the sound of my husband's panic filled voice… As he told me what had happened I just sat there in shock… I couldn't believe my ears really…"

Trudy's voice trailed off as she watched Dean's body beginning to jerk in the seat next to his brother her eyes shifting from Sam to Dean… Dean's head was now shaking faster as he brought his finger to his lips, his knees smacking the underneath of the table they were bouncing so hard…

"Shhhh…" Sam sighed apologetically at the woman, "I'm sorry… He suffers from severe autism.." He lied as he placed a hand on his brother's back and whispered something into his ear.

But Dean would have none of it as he began growling again rocking back and forth.

"It's okay…" Sam glanced a worried gaze to Bobby who was already rising from his seat. Both men afraid of what mental outburst was going to be thrown their way next… "Why don't you and uncle Bobby go outside and wait for me there alright…" Sam figured the story being told was far to much for his fragile brother to handle as he stood up and had to pull Dean's body from the seat and to his own feet. "I'll be out in a few minutes I promise.."

Bobby excused himself from the conversation, of which he was not taking a big part anyway and stepped around the table sliding his hand around the distraught man's waist and the other on his arm.. "Come on kid…" He whispered soothingly… "Let's go get some fresh air."

Sam's eyes narrowed a little as he watched the two of them leave, he knew Dean was safe in Bobby's presence, but that didn't make having to leave his side for a second any easier….

"Poor child…" Trudy whispered her eyes fallowing them out the door, "Must be hard… on both of you.." She looked back to Sam.

"We have our days…." He rubbed his chin and let his gaze fall back to hers, "You were saying?"

"Oh right,… The media coverage was unbelievable the fallowing weeks, telling the story of father and son…. They truly believed that this was a cold blooded murder case…"

"Did you?"

She shook her head, "I didn't really know what to believe, until I saw him…. I went to the trial you see, it felt like the right thing to do…. And sitting there in that court room looking at such a young boy… Hardly the age of fourteen… He was just so lost…. So confused… And we all should of known then what was going to happen…"

"What do you mean?"

"See… The trial only last five days, the jury knew with a full confession that he had in fact murdered his father, but in the reports there were allegations of …. Unspeakable acts…."

"Unspeakable?"

"Abuse… Edward claimed that his father would lock him in the closet, and beat him… he said that some days the pain was so bad… so unbearable that he felt like killing himself.. His father would rant and rave about the death of his mother and with each strike of the belt, or whatever else he could get his hands on… the pain would get stronger, not only on the outside but on the inside…And finally one day he had had enough, the voices in his head told him it had to end, that there was only one way… So he went upstairs to his fathers study… broke the glass of his gun cabinet…"

"And when Charles returned home from his weekly trip to the grocery store that night….Two rounds to the chest….. "

"Wh-what happened to Edward?"

"Well… no one of course believed such things about the man we all looked up to, there was no way there was a monster beneath the surface, not with such a kind face…. See these kinds of things never happened back then, they were never heard of… a father could never do something like that to his son… So- they wrote it off as his mental incompetence coming into play, and he was convicted, tried as an adult for such a brutal crime…."

Sam felt nauseated, sick to his stomach as she concluded her sentence… Afraid to ask the next question coming to his lips. "What happened?"

"Hung himself… only an hour or so after he was taken back to his cell…. His body was found, bed sheets they said…"

"I didn't find any records of that, in fact there were only a few articles on Charles…."

"Most everything we had was lost in the library fires of 83.… The internet was virtually unheard of back then so nothing was really cataloged other than a few stray articles kept by the towns people…" She rose to her feet after that, "Listen Sam, I need to get back to work now, but I really hope that I've been able to help… and I hope that you find your family…"

Sam smiled kindly at her gently face and stood along with her, "Thank you so much for your time, and you've helped me more than you know…."

"You stop by anytime, if there's anything else I can do for you."

Stepping out of the restaurant all these new facts and thoughts swirling through his mind, he had answers now, to the vengeful spirits in the house… and the reasons they were there…. He knew as much as he was sure he was going to know now about Edward and Charles Wilcox… Now he just needed to know how to fix everything and put all this information to good use,

There was one piece of the conversation that kept sticking into his mind even though she had only said it as an insignificant part of the tale…. "The voices in his head…." Sam repeated to himself out loud, any normal person would pass it off as a simple case of psychosis, but being that he was a Winchester Sam needed more analysis on that fact…. Could be demon related after all… nothing was ever as it seemed through the eyes of a Winchester….

As he stood there just outside the door of the small place he looked out to the parking lot and watched his brother and Bobby, the two of them leaning against the hood of the car, Dean appeared more at ease for the time being, his head was down and no longer shaking, his eyes were fixed on the asphalt below his feet and his hands were in his pockets…. Bobby was leaned over only slightly and Sam could see his mouth moving every few seconds the sign of worthless small talk…. And a man at loss for words to say to muted ears….

Sticking his own hands into his pockets Sam made his way to the other two men and leaned on the car on the opposite side of Dean from where Bobby was standing, the two brother's almost identical in there stances….

"Well… how did it go?"

"I got answers…. Lots of answers…" he nodded a little, "Turns out the father was beating the shit out of poor Edward… And the shooting was self defense….The towns people didn't believe him though, especially when he said the voices in his head made him do it… And so they tried him as an adult, and before the sentence could be carried out, he hung himself…"

"Voices huh?" Bobby asked picking up on the same small fact,

"Yup voices, see I guess poor Edward was a little off… mentally the towns people believed it was a birth defect…."

"But your not so sure…"

"If your father was beating you… Would you be able to hold on to all your marbles?"

Bobby shook his head.

"So… I just have to think on this one for a while,… "

"What's there to think about? A little rock salt,…"

"These aren't haunting spirits Bobby, there possessing people, and obviously reenacting the night of the murder…. Over and over again…" Sam stopped in mid thought remembering the vision he had a few nights ago of the last moments between Dean and his father, "after the second shot was fired though,… He ran to him…. He held him, and he cried….." He whispered…

"Who did?"

"Dean…" He looked at his brother and frowned noting the grave look on his face, his eyes still set downward to tired to act out anymore against the words filling his ears, the images coming into his head "In the vision I had, …I don't know if the spirit released him…. Or if it was all part of the reenactment…."

"And he's not talking…" Bobby finished…

Sam shook his head and sighed, "No, no he's not…" He opened the door to the car and got Dean into the back seat, before climbing in…. An idea striking him… "Maybe he can help us though after all…" He whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Doctors, she said that doctors would come to visit when Edward lived in the house…. I bet they would have some sort of records, psychiatric evaluations…. That might clue us in on what was going on inside that head of his before that night…"

"It's a long shot…" Bobby answered glancing back at Dean, "Let me guess, this is going to be their newest evaluation?"

"It's the only way I know how to get us in the door…" Sam admitted, "All we need is a few minutes inside and we can get our hands on those files…"

"You know that if your brother were talking right now, he would detest this idea…"

"I know… it's not really my idea of a good time either…" Sam looked into the rearview mirror and noticed his brothers sluggish gaze looking back at him… "I'm doing this for him…"

_Wow…. This turned out to be a long one didn't it, but I wanted to pour as much detail into it as I could as far as the back ground story… Please let me know what your thoughts are, I'm curious because there were parts that I myself felt unsure about…. Thank you so much for all your wonderful feedback in the last chapter by the way, you drive me to keep writing…._

_Rosebud_


	9. Chapter 9

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 9_

Sam was thankful that there was only a single hospital in the small town they were currently inhabiting, it made his job only the slightest bit easier…. He knew that Bobby was right, that if Dean had a say so in this whole matter, there would be no way he would allow his brother to use him, in such a current condition, as a sort of bait… However, Sam didn't really feel as though he had any other choice, sure he felt guilty. He felt so guilty that his stomach was one massively large knot, but there really was no other way….

Bobby could see the pain in Sam's eyes and written across his face as they made their way toward the local medical facility and let a small sigh escape his lips, at times like these a boy needed words of encouragement, words of agreement to let him know that he was doing the right thing… "It's the only way you are going to be able to help him…" He knew that this wasn't exactly the phrase Sam wanted to hear right then, but it was all he had to offer up.

After all Bobby had never had any children of his own, hell the closet he had ever come was playing uncle to these two boys here with him now, and whenever they needed something like this before it was always there daddy they went to…. This reminded Bobby for the thousandth time in the past few days that John, one of his nearest and dearest friends… Was gone, and then he thought about the boys…. They were grown men now, but at the same time, he knew that they were also a pair of loss souls when it came to life without their father, their protector….

"I know…" Sam rubbed his forehead and glanced into the rearview mirror his eyes meeting with his older brothers who was staring back at him, Dean's eyes were cold…. Cold and dark, and he had hardly blinked a single time since he had heard Sam telling them about Charles and Edward, and of course his plan to get into the hospital records….

Sam wondered if the lack of movements was from anger …. Or Fear…

Pulling into the undersized parking lot that was thankfully almost empty giving them a place upfront, Sam shut off the engine and rubbed his sweating palms on the thighs of his jeans before climbing out and opening the back passenger door, "Come on… lets get this over with…"

Bobby shifted his head over his shoulder hearing a low growl escape from Dean's throat, looking into the back seat before frowning slightly in the youngest man's direction.

Dean's body was completely tense his fingers gripping his knees every bone inside of him locked in defiance from his jaw down to his toes…. His eyes were open and tearing into the back of the leather seat in front of him….

"Dean please…" Sam cooed crouching down and placing a hand on his brother's forearm…

Dean's growl was persistent, and Sam gave his arm a slight tug.

"I won't leave you here I promise." He stated as Bobby now climbed from the car and made his way around to the left back corner where the open door was.

"Come on kid…"

But there was no response other than the low rumble in his throat, no eye shifting, head turning, or muscle moving…

"Damn-it Dean… " Sam's voice was not as irritated as it would normally be but it was not calm either as he pulled a little harder and grunted when the grown man's body only moved an inch and a half or so in his direction.

"I need you to do this for me, I know you can hear me, I know you understand me, now stop being a stubborn pain in my ass…."

It took nearly ten seconds for Dean's response to come as his eyes narrowed and he brought his hand up pushing his brother's fingers off of his jacket and shoving him away.

A shove that was forceful enough to make Sam stumble backward before loosing his footing and landing ass first on the asphalt beneath him. His eyes grew wide as he looked to his brother who was now looking down at him with a glare so pain filled it took every breath from inside of Sam's body….

"I'm sorry…" His words were barely audible as he got to his feet again and swallowed hard, " This is the only way…. But I promise you Dean…. I promise you, that I'm not going to leave you here, no matter what happens in there… I won't leave you alone alright?"

Dean's gaze did not soften, his eyes did not wavier as he allowed his brother to replace a hand on his arm and pull him from the vehicle…

Bobby watched the two of them as he brought up the rear closing the car door behind them…

Sam placed his hand on the small of Dean's back and lead the way inside. There was a young dark hair woman working the front desk as they approached and Sam smiled in her direction as she just so happened to look up.

"How may I help you today?" She asked sweetly,

"My nephew here needs an evaluation." Bobby nodded toward the shorter of the two men accompanying him.

"Has he been here before?" She was already reaching for a clip board on the desk in front of her,

"No, no we're new to the area…"

"Oh…" It was only now that she let her eyes fall from Sam who she had been keeping eye contact with even as it was Bobby who was speaking to her, to Dean, the man faithfully pasted to his side.

She took note first thing of how attractive he was, sandy blonde nearly brown spiky hair, beautiful defined cheek bones, he was down right handsome.

Dean, was not returning the flirtatious look however. His eyes were downcast, and he left them there, Sam could feel the unsteady trembling of his flesh underneath the hand still placed on his back and leaned in to him a little… "Deep breaths…" He whispered softly… "You're doing so good."

"And what exactly are you here for anyway?" She directed her question to Dean this time around…

"He won't answer you…" Sam quipped, Damn even in a nearly comatose state Dean got all the girls over him, life was just not with the fair when it came to the love life of Sam Winchester, "Ever since the death of our father… He's suffered from post traumatic stress disorder…"

"You poor thing…." Her voice was filled from top to bottom with sympathy as she reached over and placed a hand on top of Dean's which was dangling at his side…

"Well we have some of the best doctors in the country here, so don't you worry about a thing." She pushed the before mentioned clipboard in Bobby's direction, "You just fill those out for me the best you can, and I'll get you in right away, as you can see there's not much of a wait… So it won't be long I promise."

"Thank you we appreciate it, he's not one for hospitals…" Bobby nodded as he lead the three of them into the small waiting area, Sam and dean sitting in front of a large picture window, Bobby diagonal to them.

Sam pulled out his wallet and fished out one of their faulty insurance cards holding it out in Bobby's direction. "Here."

"And let's see who we are today…." Bobby studied the car and smirked, "Robert Dean Rock?… bob Rock, isn't that the producer for Metallica?"

"I don't come up with the names, that's his department…"

"I should of guessed…" He grinned in Dean's direction shaking his head.

Before the paperwork had even been finished, an older man in a white coat appeared through two small doors in the back of the office, coming out of the hallway, he had a very kind face, salt and pepper hair and a beard….

He walked directly toward the three men and extended his hand in their direction,… "I'm doctor Coolidge."

"Bobby, Bobby Rock, this is my nephew Sam, and his brother Robert Dean… He's named after me… We call him Dean though, always have to keep the confusion at a minimum…" Bobby shook his hand and smiled widely, it was amazing how well he could lie….

John had told Sam before that it was in fact Bobby who had taught him many of his sly moves in the whole identity theft, life of a hunter world… But it was quite something else to see it all in person…

The younger man winced a little when he felt the nails of his older brother digging into the top of his hand,, he let his eyes fall downward and frowned inwardly seeing the death grip Dean was holding on to him with… "You're doing so good." He tried to sound reassuring even as he heard Dean's breathing shallow quite a bit..

Doctor Coolidge took a minute sizing up the two boys in front of him, it was easy to tell which one he would be seeing this afternoon, the taller of the two of them stood proud… protective… and worrisome over the other, whose head was shaking so slightly it could almost not be seen, eyes glued to the floor… in a very passive and defeated manner.

"Hello Dean." Sam cringed at the change in the doctors voice as he spoke in Dean's direction like one would a child… And Sam found himself resisting the urge to scream out, _He's not fucking retarded you moron, he's a grown man and he despises people like you.._

Dean's head snapped up almost instantly when he felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder and his glare intensified as he moved away from him and more toward his brother….

"He doesn't like to be touched…"

"Has that been just recently?"

"No, he's always been that way, if he don't know you,…. You should not be touching him…."

Bobby handed the now finished and signed charts to the doctor and watched as he flipped through them checking them over quickly with a nodded. "Looks like you dotted every I and crossed every T… So if you two would like to wait out here, the first step is for me to observe your brother…"

"Can't you observe him with me in the room?" Sam found himself instantly defensive, as his brother's still glaring eyes shifted from the doctor in front of him to Sam, softening immediately, begging, pleading with him…

"It's not going to take that long… 20 minutes at the most…"

"I don't give a-"

"SAM!" Bobby stopped him putting his hand up, and then looking to the doctor. "Look I understand the way your procedure works and everything, but you need to understand how these brothers work as well,… Dean is not going to go in the room without Sam, and Sam is not going to allow Dean alone in that room without him…"

Sam felt the pressure on his hand release but was to busy staring down the doctor to take notice right away.,

Dean's panic filled face froze as he took in the walls around them, and swore they were swallowing him whole, he knew he deserved this, to be left here…. For Sam to leave him here, after what he had done, but god… god he was so frightened… so damn scared he couldn't breathe…

He looked to his brother helplessly, and the slight shake of his head became fierce as he gasped for air, He wanted to scream out, but the thought of it hurt to much, he wanted to scream out to Sam not to leave him, that he was sorry, that he didn't mean it, he knew he was a bad, bad person, but he didn't mean it, and he was so freakin' sorry….

Slowly he found his feet backing him away toward the picture window they had been sitting in front of, it only took a few steps before his back met the hard cool glass, but that didn't keep his feet from trying to take him further, away from the doctor, and this place, they were going to lock him up for being a bad man, a bad son, and a bad brother, this was it, this was where he was going to suffer like he had before… before when he had been in a place like this, before Sam had come for him.

"Shit." Sam heard the first thump of his brother's head against the glass and turned from the doctor finding his brother backed in the corner of the window, his head going back into the glass repeatedly as it shook back and forth, eyes burning into Sam's face and he could see the tears hiding just below the surface in there, fighting not to come out as he gasped for each breath fear having stolen the insides of his body.

"It's okay…" He coaxed seeing out of the corner of his eyes as the doctor now stood watching arms crossed over his chest in judgment, "I told you…" He put his arm around Dean's shoulder pulling him from the corner. "I'm not going to leave you alone in here,…."

Sam then looked back to the doctor, "Isn't that right Doc?"

"That's right Dean, your brother is going to come with us, everything is going to be alright I promise…" He smiled kindly his face defeated.

Dean was weary as he looked from one face to another, all three of them looking at him,

"I'll wait for you guys out here.." Bobby slid down into his seat and watched as they slowly disappeared back into the back hallway the same way the doctor had originally come from.

"So, I take it his injuries are self inflicted?" The short man asked back over his shoulder as the three of them made their way back into one of the small rooms.

"Yeah…Uh, yeah they are…"

"He finds comfort in harming himself?"

"I don't think that I would necessarily call it comfort…" Sam's voice trailed off for a minute as he drew his lip into his mouth and glanced toward Dean, "So much as self discipline?"

"In the paperwork here it says that his current condition was caused by the death of your father? Severe post traumatic stress disorder?… "

"Yeah." Sam chuckled to himself keeping his lips tightly closed. For someone who didn't even want him in the room during their observation he sure as hell was asking a lot of questions…

"What happened?"

"hmmm?"

"How did your father die?"

"I'm not… I mean I don't know, I was out of town when it happened, the hospital called me…"

"And they didn't give you specifics?"

"No."

"And this was about two months ago?"

"Yes."

"He hasn't said a word since?"

"No." Sam took the seat he was directed to Dean sitting directly next to him finally calmed from the event that had taken place in the front room.

"Okay,… Well… I would like to run a few tests…"

"What kind of tests?"

"I want to check your brothers responses…."

"What do you mean?"

"His responses to stimuli… Certain words, actions…. Things like that, even though I'm fairly certain from what I've seen already he is more then a little aware of his surroundings… This is one of the reasons I wanted you out of the room…"

"I don't get it…"

"he's become dependant on you… Your always there, am I correct in assuming this?"

"I am, there is no way I would leave him in a time like this…."

"You talk for him…..? "

"I guess."

"And you condone his actions? His self harming, his outbursts… his wordlessness?"

"Condone them?" Sam's face grew angry, "No I don't condone them." _You stupid son-of-a-bitch _He found himself thinking but did not dare say.

"I see."

"Look doctor." Sam exhaled loudly, "I don't think you really understand what is going on here… My brother is suffering, he needs me right now, I'm going to be here for him until we see this the whole way through and he's well again." His voice was definite.

"And if that never happens? If he never resurfaces? Then what are you going to be his babysitter for the rest of his life and yours?"

"What would you like me to do?" Sam's face was scowling now, "Just sit him in a room and close the door like a child waiting for him to snap back to his sense?"

"Don't ignore the problem Sam, it's not going to make it go away…."

"I'm here aren't I?"

"Yes, and I'm going to help you as much as I can… but the majority of his strength to pull through this is going to come from those he is closest to…. This means you…."

Sam felt himself feeling exceedingly uncomfortable now as he looked over at Dean and without a word or a motion, he knew that he was feeling the same discomfort. Who the hell did this guy think he was to judge them so openly without knowing everything there was to know about them? Without knowing there story… the real tale of their lives, and not just the one they had made to go along with some name on a fraudulent credit card.

"Dean…." The doctor cleared his throat and when Dean didn't so much as move a muscle he tried again this time with a little more force behind his voice. "Dean."

There was no response.

So the older man rose from his seat and walked around the small desk where he had been sitting moving the older brother's chair so that they he was face to face with his latest patient… He watched as Dean's body tensed at the movement and caught sight of Sam's body leaning forward a little out of the corner of his eye, almost as though he were ready to spring into action…

"Dean." He cautiously placed a hand on the man's knee. "I know you can hear me, and I know you understand me… I want you to acknowledge me…"

Nothing.

"You are not leaving this room until you acknowledge that I'm speaking to you, I know you can…."

Dean's head rose up a little and he gripped the doctors hand pulling it away from his knee hard his lip curling in disapproval.

"Very good."

Sam tried to keep himself from bursting into laughter at his brothers reaction, mildly surprised at how calm he was remaining…"Doc?"

"Yes Sam?"

"I think…. I mean I don't know of course, but nights… He doesn't sleep, and when he does, it's not well… it's like nightmares or something…."

"It could very well be exactly that… I wish that you knew exactly what it was that shut him off like this…."

"Your not the only one…" Sam mumbled before clearing his throat, "Yeah… But what good would that do?"

"Sometimes, if you talk to him about it, if you coax him out of it…If he knows that you understand then it makes the transition from inside himself back into the real world an easier one,…. But…"

"There is always a but…"

"Yes there is, at the same time, sometimes discussing the event… pulling those memories back to the foreground of his mind, can cause him to pull back further… "

"How are we supposed to know which case he is?"

"That's the problem we won't know until we try…."

"Fabulous…"

"It's normal for him to experience some discomfort when the memories resurface… He'll do anything to keep from thinking about what happened, but at the same time all it takes is one small word, or object to bring the events flooding back to him… "

"And then?"

"Well… the rest is up to him, and how strong he is…"

- Bobby was so lost in his own thoughts about how he was going to divert the nurses attention away from him and slip past her toward the back of the small hospital in search of the records room, that he didn't hear her when she was trying to get his attention…

"Mister Rock?" She was now standing right in front of him and he jumped back nearly three feet when he noticed her..

"Oh… My… I'm sorry,"

"You seemed pretty deep in thought there, are you alright?"

"Yeah, just been a busy few days…"

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you, I just wanted to let you know that it's time for me to take my lunch break now, so if you need anything I'll be returning shortly, we have plenty of magazines and booklets for you to read…."

"Perfect…" he whispered to himself resisting the urge to break out into a smile, this was almost to easy…

"Pardon me?"

"Perfect…" He repeated before adding, "I love magazines, so I'm sure I'll be just fine here, you enjoy your lunch now…"

"Oh I will…"

Bobby waited a good five minutes before finally getting up from where he was sitting, wanting to make sure the young woman had not returned for anything she might have forgotten on her way to her small Sedan he watched her climb into in the parking lot, but the minute her heard her tires exiting… He knew he was safe…

This being a smaller than average doctors office, it wasn't going to take much effort to find the records room, he guessed like most he had broken into before, it was going to be down the back stairs near the basement level with a lock on the door that would take him exactly a minute and 23 seconds to pick….

He had done this many times before….

Sure enough it took only a mere four minutes before he was standing in front of rows and rows of filing cabinets, they seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see, but then again, bobby's eyes these days couldn't see all that far.

The smell of musty old papers was engulfing his every sense and it made him think of a library…. A comforting thought for a man of his age, when you are doing something this illegal…

Thankfully, the files were in alphabetical order, each drawer labeled with thick black lettering pertaining to the contents inside… **WH-WP**

"Wilcox…Wilcox…" Bobby said to himself searching through the folders and smiling to himself when he came across the folders of Both Charles and Edward near the front of the file, gripping the son's file in his fingers… and bringing the father's along as well.. "for good measure." he whispered to himself…. He tucked them into the inside of his over sized jacket and made his way out of the small filing room and back toward the front… It was definitely time to get the hell out of here…

He stopped in front of the door he heard Sam's slightly elevated voice coming out of and knocked heavily… "Sam? How are things going in there kiddo?"

A sense of relief washed over Sam at the sound of Bobby's voice coming through the wood door behind him, "I think we are so done here…" He rose to his feet pulling a now once more frightened Dean with him, "We thank you for your time doctor, but you know … I think my brother and I are going to be alright figuring this one out ourselves…"

"I really wish you would reconsider…" The doctor pleaded, "It would only be for a few days… we could do a full psychiatric eval. And it would be very beneficial to-"

"I told you, I'm not leaving him in this hell hole to be your guinea pig."

"He would not be our guinea pig Sam, he would get the kind of medication and help that he needed…"

"I've been there thanks, that last thing I want is for you to put him back in that nearly comatose drug induced walking zombie state… He's a fighter, and I'm going to help him fight this off just as I ALWAYS have…"

"You're making a mistake here…"

"Sam?" Bobby's voice came through again.

"We're coming." He gave the doctor an icy stare, "Thank you…"

"Here…" He went over to the cabinet and pulled out a small bottle, "if you won't fallow my advice, at least take these…. They will help with those nightmares…. There a mild tranquilizer."

Reluctantly Sam took the bottle and opened the door leading Dean out a very sour and angry expression on his features….

"Let's get outta here…" He mumbled.

The walk to the car was silent until they were all three safely inside. "What was that about?" Bobby asked already afraid of the answer he was going to receive.

"He wanted to admit him… After of course telling me how I've been doing everything wrong… typical shrink and doctor talk for those who don't know us…"

"Did he say anything useful."

"Not really no…" Sam was lying and Bobby knew it, as he watched the young man shift in his seat leaning more against the window and clearing his throat.

Sam couldn't help but think about what the doctor had said to him, how he was basically babying his brother, he was enabling his sickness…. And doing everything wrong,…. It made his stomachache… it made worry rise inside of him, as if he needed anything else to worry about right now…. He just felt… Bad… This guy was just a quack though right? He didn't know anything…..

"Sam? You alright?"

"Did you get the files or did I just waste a half an hour of my life on that bastard for nothing?"

"I got em'."

"Good." Sam's eyes nearly sparkled at the manila folders Bobby pulled from inside his coat…. "Then it was worth it…"

The car was quiet, even for this trio as they drove down the road, Sam at the wheel, Bobby riding shot gun and Dean in the back directly behind his brother….they had made it nearly back to the hotel when the silent air was interrupted.

"Odd."

"What?" Sam asked taking his eyes off the road for a swift second to glance at Bobby before returning them.

"There's nothing here…"

"Huh?… That is his file isn't it?"

"Yes… But there's nothing here… The kid was in for his flu shot every year like clock work, had the chicken pox at age eleven… Broke his arm falling down some steps … and a leg in the back pool, two ribs in the bathtub…. A finger he slammed in the car door…."

"You call that nothing? That's quite a few injuries…"

"I didn't mean nothing as in nothing, I meant it as in… Nothing .."

"Specify please?"

"There's no psychiatric evaluations, no history of mental illness or violent tendencies, just a massive amount of broken bones contusions and abrasions…"

"Well… I don't know about you, but I'm definitely leaning toward the kids side on this one, sounds like abuse to me…"

"So what do you think about what Trudy was telling you before, about the kids mental state, you think its some sort of cover up to justify what he did to his father, make dear Charles out to be the full victim here?"

"Sounds about right… But even then, there still seem to be pieces missing… Like okay, I'm Edward my father is beating the shit out of me almost daily… I'm more than likely scared to death of him, how do I find the strength to finally get the job done?"

"Maybe he just got tired of it, and he'd had enough?"

"Or maybe, he found strength somewhere else… from someone else…"

"Like a Demon?"

"Like a demon…" Sam confirmed, "That would explain how after he shot him Dean ran to dad…. Maybe Edward was somehow being controlled? Like some sort of demon feeding off of his desire to get back at his father, maybe he knew that he couldn't kill his father… and so he had a little help… And then once he realized what he had done, he was so over come with grief…."

"The demon had left his body, but the memories remained… thus creating a tortured soul…"

"Not just one, but dear old daddy as well…" Sam pulled into the hotel parking lot and shut the engine off. "No wonder the poor kid hung himself…"

Yeah… you go from an abusive father to a controlling Demon… So the question is where do we go from here?"

"We gotta find out what kind of Demon, just to be on the safe side… because it might still be in that house….

In a flash Sam's mind took him back to Missouri's, to the scene with Dean and the journal…. And he exhaled loudly…. "So that's why you threw it…" He looked in the rearview mirror his eyes meeting his brothers which were overly exhausted and scared all at the same time….

He knew exactly what Sam was talking about…And he didn't want to go down this road again….

_A little twist and turn for all of you to enjoy, I hope you liked this chapter as much as the rest please remember to R&R and let me know what you are really thinking alright, and I thank you so much for your responses to the last chapter… I know this one is so friggin long, I just hope you liked it._


	10. Chapter 10

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 10_

In a flash Sam's mind took him back to Missouri's, to the scene with Dean and the journal…. And he exhaled loudly…. "So that's why you threw it…" He looked in the rearview mirror his eyes meeting his brothers which were overly exhausted and scared all at the same time….

He knew exactly what Sam was talking about…And he didn't want to go down this road again….

Sam and Bobby both watched as Dean began to slam himself hard against the back seat his eyes tearing over, he had so much to say… so much to warn… but he couldn't Bringing his hands up he placed them over his ears clasping them hard in his grasp and closing his eyes as tight as he could… The deep disturbing growl once more returning to his throat and spilling from his lips

His knees began opening and closing slamming back together repeatedly as his body rocked and Dean lowered his upper body down to his lower body nearly wrapping himself into a ball right there on the seat cushion…

He needed to go away, away from here, he knew what was coming, what was going to happen, I can't hear you…. I can't see you, then I'm not really here and this is not going to really happen… Sort of an attitude…

_Far,…. Far…. Far from here, No…No…No _ He thought this himself swallowing over and over again… _Bad Dean…. Bad, Crazy crazy…. CRAZY!_

All it took was for Sam to watch Dean's head snap to the side and then to the other as he kept it bowed for him to realize that this… this was a bad episode he was having, the sound of his growl irrupting through out Sam's body like a knife ripping through his gut.

As fast as he could he jumped from the car and threw the back door open nearly climbing fully in his face covered in shock… "DEAN!" He screamed Bobby climbing in the other side having fallowed the younger man's lead.

Dean felt arm's engulf his body wrapping tightly around him, but he refused to open his eyes, refused to uncover his ears… Refused to believe this was all going to happen again…

Dean's body weight being thrown into him Sam gasped with every blow but refused to let go, locking his brother there, his arm's wrapped from front to back pressing their bodies together, he quickly snaked his arm's as far as he could reach up Dean's back and grasps his shoulders to steady him, placing his head on top of his brother's.

Dean now found himself fully bound and unable to move aside from a centimeter in and direction… Sammy's strength was over powering his own tired body….

"Get his hands down…" Sam ordered in bobbies direction…

The stunned man did as he was told and reached forward prying Dean's fingers from his ears and carefully Sam locked those into his grasp as well.

"NOW…" Sam started, "YOU LISTEN TO ME…." His voice was angry words loud and booming into Dean's ears. "YOU ARE NOT SOME CRAZY LOON, AND YOU NEED TO JUST TRY TO RELAX…. I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS WITH YOU GOING AROUND IN THESE FUCKING CIRCLES LIKE THIS…."

"Sam…Ease up on him…" Bobby frowned a little watching the man before him cracking like a plaster building during a 8.5 earthquake, crumbling more and more by the second.

"LOOK AT HIM BOBBY….. LOOK AT HIM!!!"

"I see him Sam."

"HE'S BROKEN, MY FUCKING BROTHER IS BROKEN, AND HE WON'T KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF… HE'S NOT THIS CRAZY HE CAN'T BE… HE DIDN'T KILL OUR FATHER!!! HE DIDN'T…. HE'S FUCKIN…AHHHHHH!" Sam gripped tighter to the body in his grasp and tried to take in a deep and fulfilling breath, but was unsuccessful…

_Sammy…God….Sammy I'm sorry…. _Dean thought to himself inside his lost and confused mind, his growl subsiding but the shaking of his confined body only growing more intense, _I'm bad… I'm bad…. I'm sorry….. I didn't mean to….. I'm sorry…._

"Sam…" Bobby whispered his eye catching the sight of Dean's lips moving even if there were not words being spoken from them, his face looked pained, more pained than either man had ever seen it look before As Sam looked down to see where Bobby's eyes were now resting.

"Dean…" He breathed out softly watching as his lips moved still soundless, "Talk to me brother, talk to me and tell me what's going in there."

Dean's lips only moved faster now his eyes squinting tighter and tighter shut so tight now they were white…

_Sorry…sorry….sorry…..sorry;…..sorry…….sorry…sorry…sorry… sorry…_

"Sorry?" Sam's brows furrowed after finally realizing the words that was being repeated through silent lips over and over and over again.

Slowly he climb out of the back of the car releasing the hold he had on his brother's body and crouched down placing a hand on his knee. "Open your eyes." He coaxed as he placed a hand on Dean's trembling cheek, "look at me…"

Slowly… Obediently, Dean opened his eyes his brother's face coming instantly into view through tear blurred vision …

_I'm scared Sammy, I'm so scared…. And I'm sorry…. I'm so sorry…. What's happening to me little brother,…. Please help me…_

His thoughts were jumbled together as he studied the lines of worry across his baby brothers forehead, the hurt in his deep brown eyes evident….

"You're gonna be okay… Whatever happened in that house before, what ever was in there… We're going to fight it alright… I just I need you to bare with me here…"

There was a soft swallow in response from Dean's lips as they quivered…

This was never the way things were supposed to be, Sam was not supposed to be protecting him, He was the protector, not some weak shell of a man, he was the hunter, not the victim…. He was strong…. That was before though, before all of this had happened, before he had killed his own father, before the suffering, before all this pain, before he found himself trapped inside this anguish with no way out…..

Something had to be done. Sam didn't deserve this for a life, and Dean knew he needed to be punished, he deserved to be damned for the crime he had committed, he needed to save both of them from the hell he had created….

Shock over took Sam's expression as his brother's gaze softened and his actions were imitated, Dean's hand coming up to rest on Sam's cheek slowly… And he knew, he knew there were words that he wanted to say, felt the need to say but that something was holding them back….

"You're a fighter…" He whispered, "And that's what we're going to now… Fight… together…"

-Fishing through then trunk of the Impala, Sam and Dean now safely back in the hotel room, Bobby found the small brown leather journal underneath the box of weapons that was housed back there and made his way back inside.

"I got it." He looked to Sam who was sprawled out on the bed farthest from the door staring blankly at the TV… Dean sleeping once more in the bed beside him.

Rising to his feet both men took a seat at the small round wooden table near the front of the room. "Hopefully dad had time to mark it down in here before…"

Bobby nodded, "hopefully."

Among the scribbles of coordinates, and odd markings which to most would read of nonsense, it took the two men nearly half an hour to finally find what they were searching for….

A page near the back of the book….

"A Terroitosis Demon…." Bobby cleared his throat reading out loud, "Summoned by those who seek vengeance…. Created somewhere around 54 A.D. he is fairly young compared to most…"

"Well… That's comforting."

"It says here that his powers rely on the wishes of the weak… He's like a puppet… All you have to do is think it, and your wish is his command…. However…. Once the demon is summoned…"

"Let me guess, he can't be sent back …"

Bobby nodded.

"Well… How do we kill it?"

"No fire is hot enough, no blade sharp enough, and no bullet is fast enough to penetrate this one… "

"Great." Sam scoffed, "I don't think I like this bedtime story much…. Doesn't sound like a happily ever after to me."

"This non-corporeal Demon, has yet to be seen… working through the powers of mind control over his victims after he has been summoned…"

"So these people think they are getting a knight in shining armor to do their dirty working, and what they really get is Miss Cleo's psychotic twin?"

"Pretty much."

"Well this just keeps getting better and better.."

"So we've got a demon who has no face and no body, and uses mind control on those who summon him to carry out their own dirty fantasies… No record on how to kill him, which makes sense because how can you kill something you can't see???"

"And to go further, the spirits of those who summoned this thing seem to be angry therefore they are sticking around too…"

"As are the ones affected by the aftermath.."

"Man.." Sam whispered rubbing his chin, "Boy would I give anything for a simple 24 hour Windigo hunt right about now, things like that seem so much… brighter… these days."

"The truth is Sam…. I don't think we are going to be able to see this one through…."

Sam's eyes shot up from where he was now re reading what Bobby had already read, and they narrowed quickly,…. "We WILL find a way…"

Dean had heard every word spoken between the two of them as he lay pretending to be asleep on the bed, he could hear the determination in his brothers voice, the venom that was laced inside them…. And he knew what he had to do…. He was not going to let his innocent brother get lost in HIS battle.

Sam himself had said Dean was a fighter, and he was right… So now Dean knew how to right everything… correct his wrongs, and give his brother the life he deserved…And if he failed, if he fell, then an end would still be brought to the pain and suffering he had caused so many including himself…

_Crazy or not… I'll save you little brother…_

_Just a short little chapter to lead into what will soon become the big finally, so I hope that you enjoyed this and that it flowed smoothly for you, please remember to R&R and let me in on what you are thinking._

_Thank you so much for all your replies so far._

_Rosebud_


	11. Chapter 11

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 11_

Dean waited and waited forcing himself to stay awake, his head slammed and spinning with a thousand thoughts all of which were definitely Sam-centric. He needed to save his little brother needed to do for him what he hadn't been these past few weeks and save him from this torment….

Once he heard his brother's body hit the bed next to him, Bobby's on the floor between the two of them, the room quiet, the older brother waited only a few more minutes to make sure he would not be disturbed….

Slowly he climbed from the bed, and looked over at Sam sleeping soundlessly, Dean's face grew devastated, as if on some level he now understood more than ever what he had put his brother through, what he had done to him….

Sam looked tired, so tired, even as he slept, his skin was white as they sheets he was resting on, his arms wrapped around himself…

_This is all my fault little brother…. But I'm going to make it right… _ Closing his eyes for a moment Dean thought about everything he still had left to say to Sammy… You know… Just in case… And all the things that he never would say, he was not worthy anymore of expressing how he felt, he was not worthy of even feeling…. He was worthless…

But still his brother deserved the right to know…. Everything…. So Dean nodded, his head bobbing up and down as he tore his eyes from the sleeping form of his baby brother and made his way across the room to the small wooden table finding a pad of hotel paper and a pen close by…..

He took a seat and began trying to separate, trying to explain everything that had been going on in his head, everything that his brother deserved to know about, all the things he needed to say but never had the balls to before…

This was… A Good-bye

_Dear Sammy-_

_I'm sorry… I guess I should start there, I'm sorry for everything, for ever dragging you back into this mess in the first place, I'm sorry for not being able to protect you the way you should have been protected…. For only doing a half ass job…. Everything I had was never enough, you needed more and I could never give it to you…._

_But most of all, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for dad, I'm sorry that I killed him, even if it wasn't only my hand at work I still pulled the trigger… Me! I did it!_

Dean felt a chill run down his spine and swallowed putting the pen down and looking at the paper in front of him as he rocked back and forth lightly wrapping his arms around his chest, memories and thoughts taking over every inch of his body… every space in his mind…

He thought about that night… Standing there across from his father, the cold steel of the 45 pressed against his palm, his dad's voice pleading with him… begging him, to put the gun down…. Telling him how sorry he was that he was never there, how sorry he was for all the pain he had caused, how sorry he was for the years of abuse…..

But it fell on Deaf ears, even though now Dean remembers every word, every pronunciation for every word, at the time it was like…. Like he didn't care….

As he brought the gun a little hire so that it was aimed directly chest length, he could remember the vibrations in his throat as he spoke back toward the frightened figure pinned to the wall… Before two fired rounds sent bullets flying into John's chest….

He remembered what happened after that…. His knees shaking tears falling freely from his eyes, he held his father's body in his arms and cried, the tears stung even though from inside Dean could tell they were not his own tears, it felt good…. It felt right to cry them….

Dean remembered so vividly every moment and every emotion now, as he listened to his heart pounding mercilessly in his ears, and felt vomit burning the flesh of his throat, punishment is for the evil… and as much as he didn't want to believe it… as much good as he thought he had in him… Dean knew now, he was pure evil… so evil he deserved death….

He thought momentarily about the events after… his body curled in the corner of the top bedroom of the house, as his head tilted up, and it was as though he were waking from some horrible dream, glancing down to see his hands soaked in the thick… red… nauseating.. blood, and then the pain, the horror engulfing him, as like a dagger through his heart all the memories of the acts he had committed came back to him…. Flooding his mind and breaking his soul…

He remembered the sound of his own foot steps making their way down stairs, and the cold stiff body of his father as he lifted him up into his grasp… He had obviously been dead for hours…. He remembered the pain he felt, his tears spilling over on to the body in his grasp….

He felt numb, and at the same time he was wracked with pain, and his mind grew more and more tortured by the second as what he had done played over and over like a broken DVD…. The memories the images crystal clear… his finger squeezing the trigger so quickly… carelessly, the bullets crashing into his fathers chest, silencing his cries…. And leaving a deafening silence in their place….

Snapping his mind back to the present time, Dean took in a few deep gulps of air and shook his head looking back down at the letter in front of him, studying the words and watching as little drops of water began to fall on them, smudging a few letters here and there….

He was crying….

_So…I'm sorry…._

He wrote his hand trembling to match his chin…

_I'm sorry, for the pain I've caused, I'm sorry I took dad from you, and I'm sorry that I stole the brother you knew from under your nose and replaced him with this weak shall of a human being incapable of anything aside from fear and tears, a man locked inside himself…._

_I'm going to write this though Sammy, I'm going to make the world safe for you this time, I'm going to fix what I broke, as best I can… Both myself and your world. I just wish that… Well there are a lot of things I wish, you don't need to know about…_

_Just remember that even If I never said it. I love my geeky little pain in the ass brother, and remember to fight the good fight, because I have this feeling… that I won't be coming back this time… _

_Dean_

The pen fell from his hand and Dean clawed at his eyes for a moment, he didn't deserve the luxury of these tears as he felt the pain of knowing he was leaving his brother behind, he knew this was the right thing to do… he knew there was no other way, and it wasn't Sam's fault… He deserved a proper good bye from the man he looked up to, even if there wasn't much of him left inside there somewhere, Sam didn't know that, and he didn't need to know that….

Dean pushed his eyes lids together harder and harder swallowing faster and faster trying to muster up the strength to move from where he was sitting his knees wobbling so hard at the moment however he could hardly stand

"Dean…." His brothers voice broke through his head, feeling a strong hand on his shoulder as Sam bent down next to him, "What are you doin' man?" His brows furrowed a little looking from his brother to the papers on the table.. "Writing… Are you writing something?"

Dean forcefully put his hand over the papers and Sam carefully pried his fingers off of them scooping them up, there had to have been ten… maybe fifteen of them from the small pad of hotel paper.

The younger man studied them his brows furrowing, as he drew his lip into his mouth tilting his head, there was nothing but scribbles… scribbles of black ink and dark black circles…

Not a word,… not a word could be made out…

Dean let his head tilt up and he watched his brother's expression soften from the hopeful gaze it had previously held, hoping that maybe this, these words were going to be a way into his head, to know what he was thinking… to know how to help him…

But there was nothing there… not a word…

The older man worriedly, worried about the words he had thought he had written there, tugged with a growl on his brothers arm… _ I'm sorry, you had to know…. _ He thought to himself.

But as Sam's hands released the papers back on to the table a pained and confused look masking his features, Dean's face went blank….

He looked down at the papers, and saw for himself that nothing was there, all the words he had said inside his mind, everything he had intended to write… none of it was visible in these crazy mindless markings before him…

This was infuriating as he scooped them up into his hands and growled at them, was he really…. Really these crazy? This far gone????

"I don't understand these…" Sam's voice wavered a little as he spoke still studying the papers over Dean's shoulder Bobby now standing behind the two boys and seeing them himself….

_No…. no, no…. _ Tears so many tears came now, as the shaken man dropped the papers from his grip and lowered his head into his hands and slapping his forehead with his palm a few times his growl grew in volume deep and pain filled…

What the hell was going on inside him?

"It's okay…" Sam attempted to ease the suffering so evident on his brother's face…

Dean grunted and shook his head pushing the table over in one quick motion the papers that rested there flying every where as he shot up from where he sat, his insides tight with anger every muscle and bone in his body coursing with pain and anguish…

It was like… like a thermometer tempter reaching new heights as his world began spinning so far out of control he felt dizzy his feet moving him in every direction, not knowing where to go…

Sam frowned and went to go to his brother's aid immediately concerned, not to sure what was going on, but at the same time having some small idea,…. Some inkling inside of him, Dean had so much to say… so much to express and no matter what it wasn't going to come out… no matter how hard he tried he was failing, and it hurt… hurt so damn bad….

"No." Bobby whispered putting a hand on Sam's chest… "Let him be…"

"He's hurting…"

"I know." Bobby frowned himself keeping his hand tight against Sam's chest, "That's why you need to let him get it out…

Sam didn't like it… he didn't like it at all, but he knew that Bobby had his reasons so he let it be and both men watched as Dean's tail spin spun him directly into rock bottom….

Everything he came in contact with he destroyed, ripping the curtains from the windows he threw them to the ground, picking the lamp up he gripped it in shaking fingers and chucked it as hard as he could into the far wall both denting the plaster and busting the lamp….

_It hurts… it all hurts… it hurts….. I deserve this bad bad man…._

He growled loudly his hands holding tight to his throbbing head as his feet spun him in circles in the middle of the small hotel room….

_STOP…. MAKE IT STOP…. STOP… FUCKING CRAZY!_

His eyes opened and his vision was clouded by his tears of pain, destruction surrounding him, his breathing ragged and shallow he picked up the duffel bag of his brothers and chuckled that too, then a chair sending it flying into the window…

Sam winced hearing the crack of the glass, this was going to be one expensive outburst.

Hearing the crack as well Dean spun on his heals, his vision cleared almost instantly, the sun coming in through the cracked window…. Bathing his face and his body and sending his reflection bouncing back at him…. Staring back, and suddenly there was no more anger there, the lost and confused soul… A man he could no longer recognize…

His face unshaven, eyes sunken in, his whole body shaking, but his face… his face… was so lost… Cocking his head to the side he took a single step closer…

Sam tried again to go forward… To go to his brother watching as he moved closer to the man looking back at him in the window..

"Just wait…." Bobby ordered… "See what he's going to do"

"Bobby you saw before.. When he-" Sam's words were cut short by the sound of a heart filled, soul rattling sob, a cry that didn't even resemble something that would come from Dean's lips…

Dean's knee's gave way and he felt the carpet come in contact with them as he swallowed loudly and another cry came from his lips his head bowing , his limbs wracked with sobs, rivers of tears pouring down his red cheeks, the aftermath of his breakdown shattered like he was around him…

"Now…." Bobby dropped his hand, "Now you may go to him…"

Sam felt the hand fall from his chest, but the shock of the sight before him prevented his feet from moving right away, tears matching his brothers springing to his eyes, pained of course… but also relieved, somehow he knew, the worst… was over… by the sight before him….

It took a minute for his mind to register, and his feet to move, before he stepped over the wood splinters and broken glass bathing the carpet and reached the body on the floor crumpled over and wracked in sobs…

Slowly he slid down to the rug and sat next to him placing a hand on his back…. "I'm not going to give up on this one Dean… But I need you to do the same…. Everything is going to be alright…. You'll see…"

Dean heard his brother's plea through his own sobs still ringing through his ears and he exhaled a little, those few words, that small sentence…. Creating a silence, a resemblance of peace…

Sammy, his Sammy wasn't going to give up hope…. So why had he? For even the splitest second why had he thought of leaving him? A broken brother was better then no brother at all wasn't it?

He would suffer for his crimes, he would live with the pain of knowing what he had done, but that didn't mean that his brother had to,….

He was going to find a way, he was still going to find a way… go to fight…. Only now he didn't intend to lose, to go into this battle already defeated….

He intended to win, hell he was going to win…

Not for himself… For Sam… and for his father…

He owed them that much…

Slowly his head rose, his eyes locking with his brother's determination, fire to fight, found there, hovering over, masking the confused and lost soul he had allowed himself to become… at least for the time being….

"That's my boy…" Sam smirked a little wiping at his own eyes and using the words his brother always used toward him.

_I hope I didn't worry y'all to much, with the whole the end is near thing, it is coming but there are still a few good chapters left in this story as far as I can tell… thank you so much for your wonderful responses, and I hope you like this one just as much… please R&R and let me know what you think… Next update the unraveling of the mystery will begin…_


	12. Chapter 12

-1**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 12_

It was almost as though life were back to normal, well ok as normal as life gets for the Winchester brothers, as Sam sat cross legged on the bed his lap top in his lap, and Dean at his side, Bobby across from them sitting at the front table reading John's journal entry over and over looking for clues, anything that was going to help them out….

Sam could feel Dean's eyes burning into him every few minutes, watching over him, and it was actually a comfort to feel that gaze again, only now… Now Sam felt himself returning the gesture, every couple of minutes he found his eyes wondering away from the computer screen to look toward his brother, just to check on him… assess his mental state….

Dean was still yet to say a word, and he was still more jumpy than a five year old in a horror movie, but he was trying, and that was what mattered, Sam knew he was masking the pain inside of him fighting to keep up this façade but he was doing alright, better than he had been in quite a long time…

Sam only hoped that it would keep going that he would keep getting better and soon enough he would find his way back to normalcy.

He was pulled from his thoughts moments later by the feeling of his brother's grip tugging at his arm, the older man's face growing slightly pale as he looked at the computer screen, at one of the images placed there and Sam watched as his breaths had to fight to keep coming…

His eyes were wide as silver dollars as his whole body shook lightly with a chill of fear engulfing him from head to toe.

Sam looked over feeling the trembling tug on his hoodie and frowned deeply seeing the terror stretched across his brothers face.

"Take a deep breath…" He whispered placing his hand on top of the one still placed on his arm..

Bobby rising to his feet and coming over.

Tears came quickly no matter how hard he fought them back, no matter how strong he pretended to be be as he looked into the eyes of the man on the computer screen…. They tore into him, just as they had the first time he had seen them, in that house….

They looked human, to those who had never seen them before, to those that did not know what they were capable of, they looked like every other set of eyes you would see…. But they weren't,. and Dean knew that…

"What is it Dean?" he asked quietly and watched his brothers hand shaking uncontrollably as he brought it up and pointed to the picture of the younger man on the screen, the man whose hair was dark and eyes were young…. The man who was Edward Wilcox

"You recognize that man? That kid?" Bobby asked reading the caption underneath it silently…..

Dean gave no response to Bobby's question though as he began to shake his head a little, he needed Sam to understand, Sam needed to know god he wished he could tell him…..

_He was there little brother…. He was there, he was there, he was there, he was there….. HE WAS THERE…_

Inside his heads the words were screaming repetitively, but outside not a sound would escape his lips,

"Okay Dean, okay…." Sam let a small sigh fall from his lips, he wished he could understand, that there was just some way for him to know what Dean was thinking, what he was trying to tell him, as he studied the slightly older man's face looking for clues, for any inkling on what he was trying to express trying to say….

"I just wish you could tell me…."He mumbled his words softly looking back toward the picture and away from Dean…

And that's when it happened, out of the corner of his eyes he watched as Dean's head twitched slow at first, then faster…. His limbs growing ridged….

Dean felt the world around him blur as though he were going down the highway at over two hundred miles an hour before every thing fell to blackness and was quickly replaced with visions and memories of that night not long ago….

_The Impala was parked out front of the old abandoned home, John and Dean still occupying it's front seats, it was dark, nearly pitch black, and the clock on the dash read twelve thirty-three…._

"_Are you sure about this?" Dean's voice sounded almost fearful as he glanced over to his father who was studying the book in his hand not seeing the worried gaze he was currently receiving…._

"_It's the only way…. We have to go in, according to the incantation, the spirits will be rendered powerless against it, and therefore the demon will be disarmed, then all we have to do is finish the spell and the Demon will be sent back to wherever it originated from…."_

"_It sounds almost to easy…. I don't like it…."_

"_Well would you rather we have to go in there and fight to the death?"_

"_Honestly." Dean swallowed, "Sounds more realistic to me…."_

_John shook his head and smirked, "That's my son, always looking for the fight… Never using words to resolve his issues…"_

"_Dad, These aren't issues, this is a demon, and from what we know a pretty damn powerful one at that…"_

"_Well…It's worth a shot isn't it? I mean of all the leads we have fallowed, this is the only one to bring us this far, the only one with any hope of a positive outcome…."_

"_Alright…" Dean frowned deeper, "But still… I don't like it." He reached over the seat and retrieved the two guns filled with rock salt, "Then after the spell is done we ice these two restless spirits and go grab a few cold ones right…"_

_John nodded as he climbed from the vehicles.._

"Dean…" Sam's face and voice were filled with panic as he watched his brothers stiffened form fall back on the bed, his limbs immediately thrashing heavily against the mattress, his eyes fluttering before rolling back into his head….

"He's having a seizure…" Bobby stated calmly, watching as the older of the two boys began biting down on his tongue hard his head swooping from side to side mercilessly… He immediately dove into action and grabbed the seizing man's head in his grasp tilting it to the side and using the corner of a near by pillow he carefully pried his mouth open and placed it inside in an attempt to keep him from swallowing his tongue….

Sam's eyes were wide and fear filled as he choked on his own breaths at the sight before him, his own hands carrying a tremble he gently grasped his brother's arms and straddled his legs, trying desperately to avoid looking at his face…. And failing miserably….

Every muscle in his body was tense and twitching, and there was a small trail of blood seeping from his nose down his cheek and on to the bed sheets… His torso jumping and falling with every quick jolt his body sustained….

_Dean knew, he knew as they made there way toward the house, toward the evil that resided there, that something was wrong, yet he said nothing…. He kept quiet ignoring his instincts and fallowing his fathers…._

_As they stood in front of the dilapidated front door, the sounds of his father's words came quietly to his ears._

"_nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis. Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud diutius-"_

_Dean froze as his father's words were cut short. The wooden door before them flying open as a strong gust of wind blew in the other wise still and silent night. _

_There was no form before them, no creature, no spirit, nothing…. Just a dark and empty house…._

"_Keep reading Dad…" Dean swallowed, "I think it's working…" He held his shot gun protectively to his chest._

"_nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo-" Dean watched as his father's heels attempted to dig into the dirt beneath them, to hold himself there but it was to no avil as he was quickly being pulled into the open door before them…._

"_DAD!" He lunged forward and gripped his shoulders tightly, but he himself was being pulled in…_

_The slam of the door behind them echoed through Dean's entire body as he turned and tried as hard as he could to pry it back open… But he couldn't whatever this was… It was stronger than him…._

"_Dad…" He turned back toward his father who was now against the wall on the other side of the room, journal still in hand…. "Keep reading…. You have got to keep reading…. What are you waiting for…."_

"This is a strong one…" Bobby Grunted a little having to apply more pressure to keep Dean's head still in his lap….

"Wh-what can we do"

"Nothing… We have to wait it out…."

"Come on Dean damn-it…come on…" Sam pleaded, begged and ordered all at once, watching as trails of drool began to spill fom the corner of his mouth which was still holding the pillow….

_Bright…. Green… Moving faster than Dean had ever seen anything move before, and Dean had seen a lot of things…. It came toward him… Came through him… No came inside of him…. The taste of sulfur filled his mouth and lingered on his tongue…._

_And then it began, like a nightmare his was trapped, trapped inside himself, sharing his body with someone…. Something else, and all he could do was helplessly watch, watch as everything unfolded and crumbled down around him….._

"_Son please…." His father's voice was begging…. Pleading with him… "I said I'm sorry…"_

"_SHUT UP!" His own voice was laced, filled with so much anger, "YOU ARE NOT SORRY…. YOU WERE NEVER SORRY…. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET THE CHANCE TO BE SORRY…."_

"_Edward…." Came a weak and defeated response…._

_Dean approached his father and the closer he got the more fear he saw embedded in the older man's eyes…. _

"_I SAID SHUT UP!" He struck him hard across the face and watched as his head flew back and smacked the wall his body crumpling against the floor…._

_Dean walked swiftly to the top floor of the house and directly into the study of Charles Wilcox, using his jacket clad elbow he broke the glass from the small gun cabinet hanging on the wall and clasped his hand around the shiny nearly brand new forty-five that rested there…._

_Unlocking the chamber he made sure there were bullets inside…. Two in fact incase the first shot didn't do the trick…._

_Before closing it up and cocking it in his grasp…_

_He made his way slowly back down to the front room of the house, his movements were calm and collected as he looked to the man just now rising back to his feet, the punch from his son having knocked him unconscious just long enough…._

_John's eyes housed more fear than ever as his head tilted up and he saw his son standing there across from him, gripping an obviously loaded gun…._

"_Edward…. No…I'm sorry… I was never there, really I am son…. And I'm sorry…. If-if I got out out …out of line sometimes, I-"_

_Dean put his hand to his head and swallowed he could feel tears coming down his cheeks, not his own tears… but tears non the less…. "OUT OF LINE?!?! OUT OF LINE???!?! THAT'S ENOUGH!"_

_The gun rose a little higher and without hesitation, the cries and the tears from his father were silenced with not one shot but two shots to the chest…._

_The minute the second bullet was release the gun fell to the floor… And Dean's feet carried him swiftly to his father's side before he even had time to hit the ground._

_His body was still warm… still felt like it held breath of life…. As he clutched it to his chest and slowly slid down to the ground cradling his father in his arms, now not only the tears of the things… the soul still residing inside him were falling from his eyes,_

_But his own as well… He had done this, what had he allowed to happen… "You shouldn't have done those things to me dad, you shouldn't have done them… and I would never have had to punish you for it like this…" He heard himself saying, he felt his lips moving, but it still was not him… these were not his words…._

_He released the body in his grasp and rose slowly making his way back up the staircase, he closed his eyes and found the darkness…._

_Hours must have passed before with a deep intake of breath and a exhale… whatever was inside him exited as quickly as it had entered, and left only Dean, empty…. And alone… Dean. He opened his eyes slowly his entire body filled with horror as he rose to his feet and ran as quick as his feet would carry him down to his father…_

_He dropped to his knees before the stone cold stiff form surrounded by an already drying pool of blood_

"_Dad…. Dad… please…." He sobbed into the silence knowing that his father's soul was long gone, by the vacant stare looking back at him, as he lifted his head into his lap… "Daddy….I'm sorry…."_

Sam exhaled loudly as he watched the shaking of his brothers body finally subside, he hovered over him carefully after a few seconds and cupped his face in his hand, his flesh was chilled and sweat drenched…. "Dean…" He chocked out tapping him lightly…

The sound of his brother's voice was distorted as Dean heard it coming through to him loud and clear, he could feel something pressed into his mouth, and taste his one blood against his tongue, his body was exceedingly tired and his head throbbed….

Ached with the full pieces of memory that now lay freshly embedded there, both the things he had forgotten and the things he had fought so hard to…

"Open your eyes…"

Dean did as he was told… Slowly the light of the mid afternoon sun devoured his vision and it took him a minute to see his brothers worried face hovering over him…

His head was being help, and his breaths were short… As he took a minute to let his body, and his mind re adjust to everything….

"Rest.." Sam wiped his brother's sweaty brow, he was worried…. Worried about what he had just seen happen, where the hell had that come from? What the hell was it?

But there would be plenty of time for questions later.

As Dean felt sleep over taking him, the incantation his father had been calling out played over and over in his mind, and that was when he knew that to defeat this thing, he was going to have to finish what his father had started, and he was going to have to do it alone….

Now though, now… he was tired… so tired, and there was no harm in a little rest…. Even if he knew his dreams would be found to be less than present….

Sam kept a worried eye, refusing to look away from him as Dean slumbered, he sat pasted at his side on the edge of the bed, his eyes never resting on any one spot always moving and searching for any sign of distress…

Sam Winchester didn't scare easily… but right now… He was scared to death, he only had one piece of his broken family left, and he was not going to lose him too… he was not going to brave this frightful world on his own… no way in hell….

_There is every answer to the mystery of what took place that night, laid out for all of you…. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as you have the previous even if I have my reservations about it, please let me know what you are thinking, and I thank you for all of your kind words this far._

_Rosebud_


	13. Chapter 13

-1_Before I even start, I want to thank all of you for your concern and your prayers, they mean a lot to me, I will not be leaving for LA until Friday so I wanted to put up at least one more update for my wonderful readers before I leave.._

**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 13_

Dean awoke with a start only hours after finally finding himself in dreamland, his heart was pounding full force in his chest, his pulse racing, throat dry, and entire body throbbing…. His dreams had only retold the memories and visions of what had happened that night…

So vivid, it was like reliving it over and over and over again, he had to end this… it had to be done with, so that one way or another, he could rest peacefully.

Watching his brother's body shoot up in bed Sam jumped to his feet and nearly sprinted the short distance between where he was sitting and the bed, "Easy…. It was just a dream…" he pressed a hand to his sweat drenched chest and frowned at the fast pace of the heart beneath his finger tips… "Relax Dean, deep breaths…."

Dean moved the hand from his chest after catching his breath and got up from the bed immediately he headed toward his brothers hooded sweatshirt over the chair and began fishing through the pockets…

"Dean… what are you doing?" Sam came up behind him, a little worried about his brother's obviously frantic state. He put a hand on the small of the older man's back ..

Dean's fingers clasped the keys and he gripped them tightly, He had to go he couldn't handle another minute of this bullshit, this nightmare he was currently calling reality… He let his eyes come up and rest on the small brown leather book on the table in front of him, he was going to need that too… The incantation there was his… their only hope.

"DEAN!" Sam's voice was forceful, as he moved his hand from the small of his back to his shoulder spinning him around hard. "Calm the hell down…" He caught sight of the keys gripped tight in Dean's fist…

"Oh no no no…" He reached for them, "You 're not going anywhere…"

Dean whipped his hand back quickly and glared at his younger brother his jaw locked,

"You're not going anywhere." Sam repeated, wishing that Bobby was there to back him on this and had not gone in search of the nights dinner.

_I have to little brother… I have to, it's the only way…. _Dean thought to himself, his mouth even opening as though he were going to actually say the words.. Before closing again slowly.

"Say it Dean…Say it come on." Sam urged pleading.

But he couldn't, he just couldn't bring the words out as he brought his hand up and shoved Sam back just a little enough to give him space to move….

But Sam was just as quick his hand coming up and grasping his brothers wrist tight in his fingers with a hard squeeze. "LET GO!"

Dean's eyes narrowed and he growled but none the less the keys fell from his hand to the floor…

"I can tell without a word that your not being rational right now…. You need to relax and breathe, there is no way I'm letting you behind the wheel of a car right now…. Look at you…. You'll get yourself killed…"

Fists still balled at his sides, face angered, Dean waited only a split second before his fist came flying toward his brothers jaw in a quick and merciless motion…

A pain shot through Sam's body and heart as he felt the impact of his brothers fist against his jaw with full force before blackness overtook him….

His lips turned into a deep and apologetic frown as he looked down at his brother's form crumpled on the floor and sighed before swooping the keys up and grabbing the journal… Dean had a job to do, and it needed to get done.

Throwing on a t-shirt it was only a matter of seconds before he was out the door and in the car… His car, the engine revving beneath his body…. Causing his entire being, soul and flesh to vibrate…

Throwing the car into gear he sped out of the parking lot mildly relieved and annoyed when he passed Bobby only a half a mile or so down the road…

He would make sure Sam was safe, at the same tome however…. If Sam knew him as well as Dean knew he did then he would know where his older brother was headed and they would be hot on his heels…

He pressed the gas to the floor and his body jolted back with the speed increase…

-Seeing the shiny black Impala pass by him Bobby's eyes widened when he noticed that it was Dean and not Sam in the drivers seat…. In fact from what he saw Sam was no where in the car….

Something about that was in it's self… awkward for lack of a better word, there was no way Sam would let his brother do anything alone in his current condition, and there was no way in hell he would let him drive the Impala….

He made his way back to the hotel as fast as he could swerving into the first parking space he could find he didn't even bother to shut off the engine as he climbed from the car and bolted for the door…

"SAM!?" He called out stepping into the darkened hotel room and took a minute to let his eyes adjust to the lack of light before shifting them around "Sa-" He frowned seeing the youngest Winchester still out cold on the floor…

Leaning down, there was no blood seeping from his body… A very good sign, as he tapped the side of his face lightly… "Sammy?? Sam… Wake-up buddy come on…"

Sam grunted a little feeling Bobby's cold hand against his cheek the older man's voice booming through his ears, he opened his eyes slowly his pupils dancing in his skull as he struggled to focus…..

"Bobby?" He mumbled.

"What the hell happened?"

"He hit me" Sam's voice was filled with disbelief as he rubbed his jaw, "Hard too,…" Sam's eyes grew darker as everything came flying back at him…. "He's in trouble…." He mumbled jumping to his feet..

He wavier and swayed feeling nauseated obviously from the blow he had received.. Or so Bobby thought as he put a strong hand on Sam's arm… "You must have quite the bump there…."

"No…." Sam swallowed as it all came at once his body and his blood running cold as he gripped bobby with both hands trying to steady himself and moaning out in pain…. "Vision…" He choked out…

_The Impala screeches to a stop in front of the Wilcox place…. Dean climbs from the car and races to the door, his face is stone hard with determination, his hands are trembling slightly the only indication that there is any fear inside of him at the present moment…._

_His lips open,…. His eyes coming up from the journal he had been studying…. And he freezes…._

_His entire body goes still… minutes pass, time seems to slow,_

_Then he fells to his knees, their father's journal dropping from his hand , his face changes quicker than a flash of light, no longer determined, no longer strong…_

_He's scared, his lips quivering, he is so scared Sam can feel it coursing through his veins like a drug,_

_His eyes are wide his skin paled , shakily he moves to sit Indian style, there in the middle of the porch, the cold night air biting at his flesh, he begins rocking, rocking back and forth quickly as he shakes his head his eyes staring at the house first, a long hard stare and Sam swears he can hear the quickening pace of his brothers heart beat ringing through his ears…_

Dean's eyes cast downward now and he begins humming, humming loudly as though he's trying to ignore…. To block out voices….

_Unwrapping himself from his own grasp his arms having been tightly around his upper body, he brings his hands up to his ears and grips them so hard his fingers go from red to white in a matter of a second, his eyes close now and his rocking grows harder,…. Faster the whole porch is now creaking with the swift back and forth movement…._

_Stiff… Suddenly his eyes open again,…And Dean's movements seize, he's frozen again like a statue, he doesn't move there is even no indication he is still breathing…._

_Time drags out… slowly… _

_Before he moves again,…_

_Sam watches in horror as Dean's hand comes down to his pocket and he retrieves a gun… a silver 45.… The Same gun he had used unwillingly on their father, was back again, tight in Dean's fingers…_

_He clutches it as though it is the only thing he has left on this planet, _

_His eyes never blink, they never falter, the never so much as move…_

_The trembling of his hands subsides as he places the cold steel metal beneath his chin, his focus staying straight ahead…._

_Time stops… Everything stops…._

_The sound of a single shot the only thing Sam's ears could hear from then on…_

His eyes fly open, and Sam's face is filled with horror as he swallows finding his throat cracked and dry as he tries to speak a horrid taste in his mouth eyes red and threatening to water…..

"What did you see…." Bobby asked trying to stay calm but the look he was receiving was definitely cause for alarm….

"He-He…. We have to go….NOW!" Sam was to his feet and half way out the door before Bobby could even stand from the kneeling position he was previously in…

"What did you see?" Bobby asked again as he climbed into the truck and pulled, glad he had left it running.

"Just drive…."

_I hope this is alright, I know it's not long but I tried to just you know bridge the gap between the hotel and the closing scenes that are to take place in the Wilcox manner. So I hope you like it and remember to R&R and let me know what you are really thinking._

Rosebud


	14. Chapter 14

-1_I want to start with thanking all of you for your out pouring support not only for my story but also for me as a person, and the current situation that I am coping with. So I thank you so very very much, and also I thank you for all of your replies to this story throughout it, please read and enjoy the ending of one of the widest accepted stories I have ever written. I hope that you let me know what you think of it, and also that you check out Bar Fights and Bullets as soon as I get it going._

_Xoxo_

_Rosebud_

**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 14 - The End_

Bobby had never seen anyone move so fast as they pulled up to the Wilcox manner and Sam jumped from the car racing toward the man that was sitting Indian style on the over sized broken down porch.

It was just as he had seen it, not that, that was anything new… Sam's visions were always true, and were never wrong…. His feet pounded against the dirt beneath them and his heart raced as he moved in closer and noticed that Dean now had the gun's tip pressed against his chin.

His face was stone, his body frozen, and jaw determined… It all happened so fast, like a flash of lightning across the darkest night sky.

"NO DEAN!" His baby brother's voice was filled with fear,… with panic, as he dove forward and just in time pushed it away from the older man's chin, the trigger he had just squeezed firing a bullet that missed him completely and ricocheted off the side of the house before biting nicking Bobby, who was now standing at the boys side breathless, in the shoulder…

_Better my shoulder than his head…. _He thought to himself trying to bite back a curse word or two as he covered his shoulder with his left hand and looked down at Dean, just watching him… just watching them…

Sam said nothing at first… crouching down on to his knees he pried the gun from Dean's fingers, his flesh was cold, lips were quickly becoming over shadowed by a tint of blue…

Once he had finally removed the gun from his brother's gasp, his heart finally finding the strength to beat again, Sam handed it to Bobby who tucked it safely into the waistband of his dirt scattered jeans.

Dean had not moved, not so much as a blink of an eyelid…. What the hell had he just done? What the hell was he trying to do? Did he want to die? Was he ready to die?… If he was… Then why had Sam stopped him… After what Dean had done, back at the hotel and to their father,…. Why would Sam want to save such a horrible human being…?

Sam and Bobby both watched as Dean's pupils now moved from side to side shaking his head slowly with them and Sam frowned, he could tell by the confusion written across Dean's prominent features that he was once more battling with himself inside there somewhere, and somehow he was losing….

"Dean…" He whispered softly putting one hand on each of Dean's shoulders and giving them a hard yet small shake, "I'm here now big brother, I'm here and you're safe okay? I promise…. "

Dean's chin tilted up and Sam's fear grew as he watched his brother's features tense into an even more fearful expression his eyes growing dark and childlike and tears sprung from them in a matter of a single second….

"Dean?!?! Dean what is it??!?!"

Dean brought his hands up and held tight to his brother's arms but it was no use, and he knew that, the eyes, the same eyes he had seen before, when he had come here with their father, the same eyes he would never forget, the eyes that entered into him, took over his soul, and destroyed him from the inside out…. These eyes, this evil, was coming for them….

All three boys, Sam and Bobby knowing little about what was actually happening found themselves being pulled in to the house with a force so strong that they were defenseless against it…. Dean gripped the leather journal in his fingers as tight as he could as soon as he felt the all to familiar pull…

The door slammed behind them, and Dean almost instantly found himself in catatonic mode, his eyes shifting about the house, he remembered every crack and every crevice as though he had lived there his entire life.

His blood ran cold, and his feet refused to move as he collapsed into the corner, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and spilling down what remained of the color in his face dissipated instantly, his insides were nauseated, his heart was now not only pounding against his chest but nearly seizing in there it was going so fast…

Breaths, breaths could not find their way to his lungs as he struggled to stay coherent. He drew his knees to his chest and let his eyes, his frightened orbs watch his brother… and his uncle, he had never found himself so afraid in his entire life… Not even as a child when the fire… the demon stole his mother from him, was he this afraid.

He knew he should begin reading the incantation, he knew he needed to exercise these spirits, and disarm the demon, he knew all of these things so clearly… But yet fear had paralyzed him so deeply he did not move, he did not even blink.

"Dean…" Sam took a few steps toward him noticing the horrible shape he had quickly fallen into, but before he could even reach his side, Dean watched as his brother's head tilted forward… It appeared momentarily as though he were sleeping.

His shoulders were lax even though he was still upright, and when his head came up again, when Dean looked into his eyes. He knew Sam was no longer in control…. Sam was gone….

The youngest Winchester, didn't even seem to take note of the man, his brother huddled in the corner, as his body shifted back toward the front of the room, toward Bobby, who had obviously assumed John's… Charles' Role…. Fear evident in his possessed eyes….

Dean wanted it all to go away, he wanted it all to go away now, as he covered his ears and shut his eyes as tight as he could, he was no longer the hunter he used to be…. Not now, now he was a feeble coward, he began rocking back and forth not knowing what else to do so afraid…. So damn afraid…..

He hugged the journal to his chest, wanting needing to be close to something… close to their father, as even with his hands over his ears, he could hear his brother's voice… Bobby's voice ringing out into the silence surrounding them.

"YOU ARE NOT SORRY…. YOU WERE NEVER SORRY…. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET THE CHANCE TO BE SORRY…." The words were like bullets piercing Dean's skin, he didn't have long now, he needed to do something, he needed to save Bobby…. He needed…. He needed strength…

But all he did was open his eyes, leaving his hands still over his ears, and peeking out from behind his knees, it was as though he had no choice but to watch… to wait, and to see what was going to happen…

"_Dean…."_

Dean's insides froze as a familiar and comforting voice came to his ears, a sound he had longed to hear, and it made him wonder if maybe he had taken that finally leap into insanity…

"_Dean listen to me…." _

There it was again, Dean let his frightened eyes scan the room, looking searching for the keeper of such a soothing voice… Not only tears of fear, but tears or sadness now worked their way down his cheeks…

He closed his eyes and swallowed repeatedly his bottom lip trembling, and that's when he felt it, a heavy and strong hand on his shoulder forcing his eyes to reopen, it was comfort and connection that his life had been lacking these last few months…..

"_Hello son…" _There he was right beside him, crouching down, his eyes soft and compassionate, his face filled with worry as John Winchester studied his eldest off spring,

He broke… right then and right there, looking into his father's gaze, feeling his father so close to him, he let sobs come to his lips and fly free from his body without so much as a second thought…. "Dad…."

"_It's okay son, I'm okay…."_

"Dad-… I'm sorry….. I-I'm sorry….. I'm so sorry….."

"_Dean listen to me alright? The thing that did this to me, the thing that killed me, was not you son, you need to understand that, you had no control over what happened that night, you need to let it go, and you need to move on, you can't carry it with you,… not now and not ever… Sammy needs you to be there for him, he needs his big brother, and I-" _Dean swear he saw a tear come from his father's eye now and he found actual strength in it rather than pain or anger… _"I need you to be there for him…."_

"But Dad,…."

"_Dean there's no time for this now, you must finish this…." _ John looked past his eldest son to where Sam was now coming down the steps from the top floor the gun from Charles study in his grasp….

"C-Can't you help me?"

"_No son, this is a fight you have to finish…. And remember, even though I never said it, I love you boy's more than anything……"_

"Dad wait-" But it was to late, John Winchester…. Or the ghost of anyway was now gone and Dean found himself alone in the house where this whole thing had begun, just he and the evil who had created this whole damn mess in the first place…..

"You're going down now you evil son-of-a-bitch." He growled his eyes burning with the same determined fire that they used to when he was close to defeating a hunt, close to sending something this bad back to hell… His father's words his father's memory renewing his strength as he climbed to his feet and held the leather book open stepping toward the entity inhabiting his brother's body.

"nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis. Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud diutius"

He chanted a deep low growl evident in his voice as he was now so close to the thing he could feel breath hot on his neck… Putting one hand out he pressed it hard against Sam's chest the demon within his brother growing angry as he saw Dean looking into him looking through him…. "GET AWAY FROM ME…" Sam's voice was no longer Sam's voice but a voice of pure evil as his mouth opened and the words flew from it….

"What are you gonna do huh? Jump into me? Been there done that… And even if you do He'll finish it… Let's face it you're not gonna win this time…. I'm sending you back to hell and you can't stop m-"

"You willing to bet on that one?"

Dean grunted as his body flew back and hit the wall hard he had momentarily forgotten about the amount of strength a possessed person seems to have… but he remembered now…

Rubbing the back of his head a little he looked down at the book still surprisingly in his grasp and began again….

"nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis. Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud diutius-"

He was back onto his feet in a matter of seconds as he headed back toward this,…. This thing, jaw once more locked in an undefeatable determination…

"You killed my father you bastard, And I am not going to let you take anyone else…"

He could tell the Demon was losing power, draining strength as he pounced on his brother's body and knocked him backward straddling his limbs with a death grip and throwing the journal to the floor, the words were embedded in his mind…

He placed both hands on Sam's chest and forced himself to look deep, look hard not into his brother's eyes, but into the eyes of the evil that had destroyed his life….

"nos dico peto vos validus everto…" He grunted having to push down harder on the chest beneath his fingertips as the demon squirmed, his head tilting back and thrashing against the wood… Dean had him now, there was no question about that…. "nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis….." Sam's mouth opened his eyes growing even darker and engulfing with black so there there was no more white to them, his back arching in ways that seemed unnatural … "Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud…….. DIUTIUS"

A thick black smoke spewed from Sam's lips, and also from the lips of the man still unconscious in the corner of the room… The demon was obviously disarmed and the spirits repealed from the bodies his loved ones….

Panting heavily his body quite taxed, Dean watched as Sam's eyes opened… "You okay little brother?"

"You're sitting on me… what do you think…." Sam's eyes went wide… "And-and you're talking…."

"Can we talk about this later?" Dean asked hoping to his feet and offering Sam a hand, "Right now we have a Demon to finish off….."

Sam did not argue, he never thought it wise to argue with Dean when it came down to the facts of a hunt…

"You know I'm in…" Sam growled still able to taste the sulfur the spirit possessing his body had left behind…

"Good." Dean nodded toward Bobby's out cold form, "Let's get him the hell out of here and grab the guns…. To finish this nasty ass off…."

The two of them made there way across the hard wood floors and each took one of Bobby's arm's in their own, with one swift kick the wood of the door not only opened but busted from the hinges, they dragged Bobby out of the house and toward the safety of the Impala….

Popping the trunk open Dean's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas as he held his trusty riffle in his grasp, to most people it would look like a hunting weapon… And it was of course… It just wasn't for hunting what one might think…

"Are you sure rock-salt is going to work?" Sam asked loading the gun in his own grasp.

"This Demon… isn't like the others, in fact if you look at it the right way, he's weaker than the others… as strong as he might be, he is not of the flesh…. He's got no body, no bones. He's just a spirit, so there for he is able to be killed just like a normal spirit, a little rock salt to the chest,…. Just whatever you do Sammy…Don't.." Dean put his finger into his baby brother's chest, "Do not! Look into his eyes."

"No eyes, got it…"

"Good… Now let's go hunt us a proverbial turkey."

Dean lead the way into the house feeling stronger than ever as he stood just inside, "Come out come out wherever you are you freaky bastard." He accompanied his banter with cocking his riffle.

Sam couldn't help but smirk at the sound of his brother's voice, he didn't know what happened while he was other wise occupied, but his brother, his Dean appeared to be back.

The house shook heavily like a 6.0 earthquake and both boys held on to the wall to keep themselves upright.

"Enough with the special effects…. SHOW YOURSELF!" Dean's words were powerful and vengeful…

And there it was, as requester…

"Uh Dean?!?!…" Sam's voice was small as he looked at the thing before him, towering over the two of them….

"Yeah Sam?"

"How come you neglected to mention this thing was larger then Godzilla?"

"You know what they say Sammy," Dean brought his gun up to the being in front of them and aimed it right toward his see through chest firing both rounds his gun could hold into it… "The bigger they are… The harder they fall…."

He let his gun fall to the ground and silence fallowed as both boys slid down to their knees and looked around slowly…

"Well that was easy…" Dean finally said clearing his throat sarcastically.

"Mhmm…" Sam shook his head.

"But …" Dean rose to his feet and took the zippo from his pocket lighting it "There is only one way to be sure." He walked over to the staircase and lit it on fire, it took three tried, but finally it took…

Sam watched as Dean watched the orange glow of the fire quickly spread up the entire staircase and along the wall, his eyes mesmerized by it….

"Let's go," The younger of the two whispered coming up behind his brother and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder once the fire began to spread even quicker… engulfing the house… and all the memories within it….

Dean nodded drawing his lip into his mouth and Sam saw a single, last tear fall from his eye…

- The next morning the sun high above the two of them, Dean parked the car alongside what was now only charred remains of the Wilcox manner and climbed out.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam asked fallowing his lead and stepping in his footsteps…

"You have a right to know…."

Sam watched as Dean made his way slowly along side the highway to the empty field no more than a quarter mile away….

"Here…" He whispered a moment later and dropping to his knees where a small cross stood embedded into the mud and dirt…. "I buried him here… I figured, this would be as good a place as any since the road was his home and no single place could ever contain him long enough…."

Sam simply nodded in response looking down at the make shift gave, looking down at the small cross, looking down at his brother…. And taking it all in. He wouldn't be going back to school, back to that life… his place was here now, with what remained of his family.

The End.

_I hope this ending was better than the last story… I know how disappointed some of you were in that one…. Anyway let me know what you think…._


	15. Chapter 15

-1_I want to start with thanking all of you for your out pouring support not only for my story but also for me as a person, and the current situation that I am coping with. So I thank you so very very much, and also I thank you for all of your replies to this story throughout it, please read and enjoy the ending of one of the widest accepted stories I have ever written. I hope that you let me know what you think of it, and also that you check out Bar Fights and Bullets as soon as I get it going._

_Xoxo_

_Rosebud_

_I'm reposting this again as a chapter 15 because for some reason is being funky... so yeah_

**Rescue Me**

_Chapter 14 - The End_

Bobby had never seen anyone move so fast as they pulled up to the Wilcox manner and Sam jumped from the car racing toward the man that was sitting Indian style on the over sized broken down porch.

It was just as he had seen it, not that, that was anything new… Sam's visions were always true, and were never wrong…. His feet pounded against the dirt beneath them and his heart raced as he moved in closer and noticed that Dean now had the gun's tip pressed against his chin.

His face was stone, his body frozen, and jaw determined… It all happened so fast, like a flash of lightning across the darkest night sky.

"NO DEAN!" His baby brother's voice was filled with fear,… with panic, as he dove forward and just in time pushed it away from the older man's chin, the trigger he had just squeezed firing a bullet that missed him completely and ricocheted off the side of the house before biting nicking Bobby, who was now standing at the boys side breathless, in the shoulder…

_Better my shoulder than his head…. _He thought to himself trying to bite back a curse word or two as he covered his shoulder with his left hand and looked down at Dean, just watching him… just watching them…

Sam said nothing at first… crouching down on to his knees he pried the gun from Dean's fingers, his flesh was cold, lips were quickly becoming over shadowed by a tint of blue…

Once he had finally removed the gun from his brother's gasp, his heart finally finding the strength to beat again, Sam handed it to Bobby who tucked it safely into the waistband of his dirt scattered jeans.

Dean had not moved, not so much as a blink of an eyelid…. What the hell had he just done? What the hell was he trying to do? Did he want to die? Was he ready to die?… If he was… Then why had Sam stopped him… After what Dean had done, back at the hotel and to their father,…. Why would Sam want to save such a horrible human being…?

Sam and Bobby both watched as Dean's pupils now moved from side to side shaking his head slowly with them and Sam frowned, he could tell by the confusion written across Dean's prominent features that he was once more battling with himself inside there somewhere, and somehow he was losing….

"Dean…" He whispered softly putting one hand on each of Dean's shoulders and giving them a hard yet small shake, "I'm here now big brother, I'm here and you're safe okay? I promise…. "

Dean's chin tilted up and Sam's fear grew as he watched his brother's features tense into an even more fearful expression his eyes growing dark and childlike and tears sprung from them in a matter of a single second….

"Dean?!?! Dean what is it??!?!"

Dean brought his hands up and held tight to his brother's arms but it was no use, and he knew that, the eyes, the same eyes he had seen before, when he had come here with their father, the same eyes he would never forget, the eyes that entered into him, took over his soul, and destroyed him from the inside out…. These eyes, this evil, was coming for them….

All three boys, Sam and Bobby knowing little about what was actually happening found themselves being pulled in to the house with a force so strong that they were defenseless against it…. Dean gripped the leather journal in his fingers as tight as he could as soon as he felt the all to familiar pull…

The door slammed behind them, and Dean almost instantly found himself in catatonic mode, his eyes shifting about the house, he remembered every crack and every crevice as though he had lived there his entire life.

His blood ran cold, and his feet refused to move as he collapsed into the corner, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and spilling down what remained of the color in his face dissipated instantly, his insides were nauseated, his heart was now not only pounding against his chest but nearly seizing in there it was going so fast…

Breaths, breaths could not find their way to his lungs as he struggled to stay coherent. He drew his knees to his chest and let his eyes, his frightened orbs watch his brother… and his uncle, he had never found himself so afraid in his entire life… Not even as a child when the fire… the demon stole his mother from him, was he this afraid.

He knew he should begin reading the incantation, he knew he needed to exercise these spirits, and disarm the demon, he knew all of these things so clearly… But yet fear had paralyzed him so deeply he did not move, he did not even blink.

"Dean…" Sam took a few steps toward him noticing the horrible shape he had quickly fallen into, but before he could even reach his side, Dean watched as his brother's head tilted forward… It appeared momentarily as though he were sleeping.

His shoulders were lax even though he was still upright, and when his head came up again, when Dean looked into his eyes. He knew Sam was no longer in control…. Sam was gone….

The youngest Winchester, didn't even seem to take note of the man, his brother huddled in the corner, as his body shifted back toward the front of the room, toward Bobby, who had obviously assumed John's… Charles' Role…. Fear evident in his possessed eyes….

Dean wanted it all to go away, he wanted it all to go away now, as he covered his ears and shut his eyes as tight as he could, he was no longer the hunter he used to be…. Not now, now he was a feeble coward, he began rocking back and forth not knowing what else to do so afraid…. So damn afraid…..

He hugged the journal to his chest, wanting needing to be close to something… close to their father, as even with his hands over his ears, he could hear his brother's voice… Bobby's voice ringing out into the silence surrounding them.

"YOU ARE NOT SORRY…. YOU WERE NEVER SORRY…. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET THE CHANCE TO BE SORRY…." The words were like bullets piercing Dean's skin, he didn't have long now, he needed to do something, he needed to save Bobby…. He needed…. He needed strength…

But all he did was open his eyes, leaving his hands still over his ears, and peeking out from behind his knees, it was as though he had no choice but to watch… to wait, and to see what was going to happen…

"_Dean…."_

Dean's insides froze as a familiar and comforting voice came to his ears, a sound he had longed to hear, and it made him wonder if maybe he had taken that finally leap into insanity…

"_Dean listen to me…." _

There it was again, Dean let his frightened eyes scan the room, looking searching for the keeper of such a soothing voice… Not only tears of fear, but tears or sadness now worked their way down his cheeks…

He closed his eyes and swallowed repeatedly his bottom lip trembling, and that's when he felt it, a heavy and strong hand on his shoulder forcing his eyes to reopen, it was comfort and connection that his life had been lacking these last few months…..

"_Hello son…" _There he was right beside him, crouching down, his eyes soft and compassionate, his face filled with worry as John Winchester studied his eldest off spring,

He broke… right then and right there, looking into his father's gaze, feeling his father so close to him, he let sobs come to his lips and fly free from his body without so much as a second thought…. "Dad…."

"_It's okay son, I'm okay…."_

"Dad-… I'm sorry….. I-I'm sorry….. I'm so sorry….."

"_Dean listen to me alright? The thing that did this to me, the thing that killed me, was not you son, you need to understand that, you had no control over what happened that night, you need to let it go, and you need to move on, you can't carry it with you,… not now and not ever… Sammy needs you to be there for him, he needs his big brother, and I-" _Dean swear he saw a tear come from his father's eye now and he found actual strength in it rather than pain or anger… _"I need you to be there for him…."_

"But Dad,…."

"_Dean there's no time for this now, you must finish this…." _John looked past his eldest son to where Sam was now coming down the steps from the top floor the gun from Charles study in his grasp….

"C-Can't you help me?"

"_No son, this is a fight you have to finish…. And remember, even though I never said it, I love you boy's more than anything……"_

"Dad wait-" But it was to late, John Winchester…. Or the ghost of anyway was now gone and Dean found himself alone in the house where this whole thing had begun, just he and the evil who had created this whole damn mess in the first place…..

"You're going down now you evil son-of-a-bitch." He growled his eyes burning with the same determined fire that they used to when he was close to defeating a hunt, close to sending something this bad back to hell… His father's words his father's memory renewing his strength as he climbed to his feet and held the leather book open stepping toward the entity inhabiting his brother's body.

"nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis. Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud diutius"

He chanted a deep low growl evident in his voice as he was now so close to the thing he could feel breath hot on his neck… Putting one hand out he pressed it hard against Sam's chest the demon within his brother growing angry as he saw Dean looking into him looking through him…. "GET AWAY FROM ME…" Sam's voice was no longer Sam's voice but a voice of pure evil as his mouth opened and the words flew from it….

"What are you gonna do huh? Jump into me? Been there done that… And even if you do He'll finish it… Let's face it you're not gonna win this time…. I'm sending you back to hell and you can't stop m-"

"You willing to bet on that one?"

Dean grunted as his body flew back and hit the wall hard he had momentarily forgotten about the amount of strength a possessed person seems to have… but he remembered now…

Rubbing the back of his head a little he looked down at the book still surprisingly in his grasp and began again….

"nos dico peto vos validus everto , nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis. Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud diutius-"

He was back onto his feet in a matter of seconds as he headed back toward this,…. This thing, jaw once more locked in an undefeatable determination…

"You killed my father you bastard, And I am not going to let you take anyone else…"

He could tell the Demon was losing power, draining strength as he pounced on his brother's body and knocked him backward straddling his limbs with a death grip and throwing the journal to the floor, the words were embedded in his mind…

He placed both hands on Sam's chest and forced himself to look deep, look hard not into his brother's eyes, but into the eyes of the evil that had destroyed his life….

"nos dico peto vos validus everto…" He grunted having to push down harder on the chest beneath his fingertips as the demon squirmed, his head tilting back and thrashing against the wood… Dean had him now, there was no question about that…. "nos peto malum ut sedeo inside. nos duco vos sicco quod requiro ut vestri vox exsisto intentus vobis….." Sam's mouth opened his eyes growing even darker and engulfing with black so there there was no more white to them, his back arching in ways that seemed unnatural … "Vos mos haud diutius vulnero animus illorum quisnam penetro. vos mos haud diutius vulnero viscus of victus. Vos mos haud…….. DIUTIUS"

A thick black smoke spewed from Sam's lips, and also from the lips of the man still unconscious in the corner of the room… The demon was obviously disarmed and the spirits repealed from the bodies his loved ones….

Panting heavily his body quite taxed, Dean watched as Sam's eyes opened… "You okay little brother?"

"You're sitting on me… what do you think…." Sam's eyes went wide… "And-and you're talking…."

"Can we talk about this later?" Dean asked hoping to his feet and offering Sam a hand, "Right now we have a Demon to finish off….."

Sam did not argue, he never thought it wise to argue with Dean when it came down to the facts of a hunt…

"You know I'm in…" Sam growled still able to taste the sulfur the spirit possessing his body had left behind…

"Good." Dean nodded toward Bobby's out cold form, "Let's get him the hell out of here and grab the guns…. To finish this nasty ass off…."

The two of them made there way across the hard wood floors and each took one of Bobby's arm's in their own, with one swift kick the wood of the door not only opened but busted from the hinges, they dragged Bobby out of the house and toward the safety of the Impala….

Popping the trunk open Dean's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas as he held his trusty riffle in his grasp, to most people it would look like a hunting weapon… And it was of course… It just wasn't for hunting what one might think…

"Are you sure rock-salt is going to work?" Sam asked loading the gun in his own grasp.

"This Demon… isn't like the others, in fact if you look at it the right way, he's weaker than the others… as strong as he might be, he is not of the flesh…. He's got no body, no bones. He's just a spirit, so there for he is able to be killed just like a normal spirit, a little rock salt to the chest,…. Just whatever you do Sammy…Don't.." Dean put his finger into his baby brother's chest, "Do not! Look into his eyes."

"No eyes, got it…"

"Good… Now let's go hunt us a proverbial turkey."

Dean lead the way into the house feeling stronger than ever as he stood just inside, "Come out come out wherever you are you freaky bastard." He accompanied his banter with cocking his riffle.

Sam couldn't help but smirk at the sound of his brother's voice, he didn't know what happened while he was other wise occupied, but his brother, his Dean appeared to be back.

The house shook heavily like a 6.0 earthquake and both boys held on to the wall to keep themselves upright.

"Enough with the special effects…. SHOW YOURSELF!" Dean's words were powerful and vengeful…

And there it was, as requester…

"Uh Dean?!?!…" Sam's voice was small as he looked at the thing before him, towering over the two of them….

"Yeah Sam?"

"How come you neglected to mention this thing was larger then Godzilla?"

"You know what they say Sammy," Dean brought his gun up to the being in front of them and aimed it right toward his see through chest firing both rounds his gun could hold into it… "The bigger they are… The harder they fall…."

He let his gun fall to the ground and silence fallowed as both boys slid down to their knees and looked around slowly…

"Well that was easy…" Dean finally said clearing his throat sarcastically.

"Mhmm…" Sam shook his head.

"But …" Dean rose to his feet and took the zippo from his pocket lighting it "There is only one way to be sure." He walked over to the staircase and lit it on fire, it took three tried, but finally it took…

Sam watched as Dean watched the orange glow of the fire quickly spread up the entire staircase and along the wall, his eyes mesmerized by it….

"Let's go," The younger of the two whispered coming up behind his brother and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder once the fire began to spread even quicker… engulfing the house… and all the memories within it….

Dean nodded drawing his lip into his mouth and Sam saw a single, last tear fall from his eye…

- The next morning the sun high above the two of them, Dean parked the car alongside what was now only charred remains of the Wilcox manner and climbed out.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam asked fallowing his lead and stepping in his footsteps…

"You have a right to know…."

Sam watched as Dean made his way slowly along side the highway to the empty field no more than a quarter mile away….

"Here…" He whispered a moment later and dropping to his knees where a small cross stood embedded into the mud and dirt…. "I buried him here… I figured, this would be as good a place as any since the road was his home and no single place could ever contain him long enough…."

Sam simply nodded in response looking down at the make shift gave, looking down at the small cross, looking down at his brother…. And taking it all in. He wouldn't be going back to school, back to that life… his place was here now, with what remained of his family.

The End.

_I hope this ending was better than the last story… I know how disappointed some of you were in that one…. Anyway let me know what you think…._


End file.
